


Spectrum

by MentalMay



Category: The 100 (TV), clarke/lexa - Fandom, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artist Clarke, Best Friends, Dork Lexa, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, M/M, Multi, Sassy Raven, Slow Build, Slow Burn, sassy Anya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:31:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8054638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MentalMay/pseuds/MentalMay
Summary: In New York city where everything is possible,where anything will go, lives will be changed, fates derailed, time will stop, but at the exact same time, it will fly by. It's the city full of hopes and dreams for lots, but somehow, paths of several people will intertwine in this small but prestige gallery in Brooklyn, making them re-think life, love, friendships, willing them to change, for better.Lexa Woods is a curator in a gallery, driven, optimistic, carryng and passionate. About everything. That makes her a fierce business woman, but also a cute dork.Clarke Griffin is a thriving artist, trying to make her art known and loved, not for the money or fame, but for the love and empathy.Everybody in between are like dots that will connect in this perfect harmony to create collision that will relinquish whole spectrum of emotions and colors.





	1. When we first came here

**Author's Note:**

> Hey peps,  
> first of all,I HAVE to underline the fact that english is not my native language. I don't have beta reader,so mistakes that are bound to happen, are all mine. And I am deeply sorry about that.
> 
> Now,for the fun part...If you love fics that are funny, maybe little artsy, with dash of tumblr influence, FULL of good music recomendations, full of sassy Raven(my favourite), Clexa dynamic and lots of more good stuf, give it a try. I will love you no matter what, because, If I'm being honest, this fandom, and everything that is created inside of it helped me to recover after Lexa was shot. So thank you to all other writters, readers, artists and everyone inbetween.  
> This fic is my outlet, and i hope that some of you will like it and read it.
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Some of the stuff that will be in this fic are taken from my life, since I am art history major. And I have sassy friends. And I love girls with blonde hair and blue eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I started a new Clexa fic :)
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8483155/chapters/19439434

It was an early morning, middle of May, and for Lexa, may was something special. Her favorite flower is lilac, and lilacs are may flowers. So it wasn't that strange that sweet scent was lingering throughout the small apartment, mixed with vanilla scent that followed freshly showered girl. Music started to fill the void of silence, and with a clanging sound of spoon against black mug, and light tapping of bare foots followed by balcony door being opened, a symphony was created. From her balcony she saw a small street where she lived filled with sycamore trees whose leafs danced on a gentle breeze. Lexa was happy. She really was. 

'Little things are important' was her motto and she lived by that motto every single day. Song changed and light voice of Stevie Nicks made this morning even special. She was a Fleetwood Mac whore and she wasn't shy about it. Lexa put the mug down on the balcony coffee table and went inside to grab a remote that she often used as a microphone. She went back into the bedroom and started to sing Dreams looking at the bed that was currently occupied with her black cat. Artigas was used to this little morning routine that apparently his owner found very amusing and funny. He lifted his head, eyes still semi-closed. Lexa was giving her best, she swayed and smiled, her long brown hair followed her movements. Song ended, and Artigas just laid back into his makeshift cat cocoon. 

'I was serenading you, you little piece of turd' was all that she could muttered.

Artigas was out of it. 'That's what I get when I pick up a stray cat from the street, he now thinks that HE IS ENTITLED to peace and quiet.' she went back to her living room trying to make him guilty for being such a sloth. 'I guess you don't want to EAT then?' Lexa waited for a few seconds and then she heard hurried steps coming to the living room. 'Now you acknowledge me?' she smirked while pouring him his food into the bowl. 'You should know that no man played me like this' she smiled at him and went back to the balcony. 'Man are pigs' she said while she made herself comfortable on the loveseat that she had, sipping on her now cold coffee. She didn't mind, it was about the process, sippin' and enjoying it while she planned her day. And today was a big day for her. The gallery where she worked was recently accepted under the wing of MoMA and that means that the gallery was on the map. Whoever visits MoMA, now on every bulletin will see the name of her small gallery. 'The 13' was the name. Simple and short, and when everybody asked her why that number, she would only mysteriously plaster a small smile in the corner of her mouth and say 'That is for me and only me to know'. The truth is, she didn't even know. She loved that number, even tho it was ominous. Maybe she liked it so much, she wanted to give that number a chance ,to be something greater and bigger than just to be feared from. She firmly believed that one day, that number will have it's equation, how it came to her.  
She sat there for about 45 minutes, enjoying everything that surrounded her when her phone started ringing. She smiled as she heard the music, knowing instantly who was calling, she picked that song specifically for her always grumpy sister, because 'Happy' by Farrell is something that Anya hated.  
'Goood morning my big adored sis, whats shakin'?' Lexa singed with a smile.  
'First of all, stop being so happy this early in the morning, it's not normal' Anya grunted, 'And second of all, the earth is shaking under me. I think i drank one drink too many last night....Lexa, I think I'm dying over here.' Lexa let her throaty laugh, while shaking her shoulders.

'Anya, you are not dying, you are just realizing that you can not keep up with your younger colleagues and that you need to slow it down.'

'Lexa...I'll be damned if I let those little chickens drink me under the table. They need to know that I am better than them in every aspect of their miserable life.'

'Anya, you are a teacher.'

'So??'

'At NYC if I might add, you need to be the one they are looking up to.'

'I ain't their momma,I don't give a shit about that'. Lexa laughed until she heard a scream from other side of the line. 'Anya!! Anya talk to me, what a hell happened??ANYA!!'

'I just saw myself in the mirror. I forgot to clean my make up when I got home. I look like....well, i don't look good, let's just leave it at that.'

'You are a fucking moron Anya, you gave me a heart attack.'

'I'm sorry, it's just...baaad. Anyway, I called because I wanted to tell you that i can't go with you for a jog today, I hardly can stand.'

'I figured. Take some aspirin, drink lots of water and send me pics of your ugly face.'

'Fineee, but I'm warning you, this shit is adult content. See ya later skank'

'Go fuck yourself Anya. See ya.' Lexa hung up the phone and got up with a smile on her face. She loved her sister to death, but she could be sometimes challenging. And that was understatement.  
She went to her bedroom and changed into some shorts and old t-shirt, put her long hair into a ponytail, slipped running shoes, took her phone and plugged earphones in. She pressed play and her focus was on. While Gesaffelstain - OPR blasted through her ears she took long strides, keeping her breaths even, feeling every muscle in her body doing what was supposed to do. Take her faster. 'This is going to be a good day' she thought to herself.

 

Not just 4 blocks away from her, Clarke Griffin was having one of the worst days of her life. So she thought. She was sometimes overly dramatic and that was the case this morning.  
'Octaviaaaaa,I lost my damn brush, my lucky brush, I can't finish this piece without it.' Clarke screamed really, but all those stuff didn't allow any echo in the room. Every sound came out muffled.

'Clarke, I really don't know....HOLLY FUCK Clarke, are you serious?? What the actual fuck happened here?' Octavia stood by the door frame, mouth agape, eyes not believing what they were seeing.

'What?? It's little messy, I know, but please help me find it.' Clarke begged and whined looking at Octavia with puppy eyes.

"Not a chance in hell Griffin. I'm small, if I lose my footing I will fall into this 'little mess' as you call it. I will vanish. NYPD SQUAD won't find me in there. And have you noticed that your 'little mess' made a 'deaf room' out of this place. I could scream, but nobody would hear me. No.' Octavia crossed her arms and tilted her chin upward.

'Are you done??' Clarke asked, glaring at Octavia. When she received a firm nod, Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Tie this rope around you.'

'What??' brunet was confused now.

'So if I lose you in the battle, I can just pull you out.'

'You disgust me.' smaller girl stated but never the less entered the room starting to remerge through pile of clean clothes that Clarke was to bothered to fold.

'Oooh so you discus me??' Clarke replied with smile on her face.

'Don't you dare quote Hamilton to me!!'

'I'm a trust found babe, you can trust me.' Clarke finished with a pose that should resemble some hip hop move.

'You are a lost cause. By the way, why,WHY do you have this long ass rope in your room?'

'Art project that went south.'

'It's official, you are a hoarder. You shoul...'

'OOOH MY GOOODDDD' Clarke screamed with all the gusto.

'WHAT THE FUCK?? DID YOU SEE A RAT?? WHAT??' Octavia was ready to flee from the room.

'I found it. My lucky brush.' She kissed it and swatted it like it was a baby.

'I need to move out...' Octavia mumbled while exiting the room

 

Outside of their building a girl ran pass by. Neither of them knew what will happen, that this May will be a lot different from any other, and that this summer will be one to remember. Coffee scent was hitting Clarke’s nose and she went to the kitchen to take her mug and start her day. That same breeze hitting her pale skin while Sun peaked through the buildings.

'Maybe this will be a good day after all'.


	2. No colors in our skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit longer than the first one. i hope you like it.  
> Again, I appologize for the mistakes.

Clarke was sitting in this cute coffee shop waiting for her good friend Raven to come and meet her, then preferably take a walk and catch up. Raven was really busy these past few weeks, and never once she said why that was the case. Work. Whenever she got call from Clarke or Octavia, Raven dismissed them with the oldest reason in the book. She was working. And she was, indeed, now that her department was being shook up by the arrival of this nihilist, all around not very pleasurable person to be around. Clarke was sitting by the window, sipping on her coffee, listening to Kendra Morris and found herself thinking how her life, at this point, wasn’t something she was entirely content with. She recently broke up with her long term boyfriend, and by an admission, she felt like she lost a rock she could always lean on. But the truth was, and she was aware of this, he wasn’t her rock. Not really. For a long period of time, he was there for her, supporting her, every decision she made, regarding her art or life in general. But then things changed. He started to be a lot less understanding of her artistry and way of life. On multiple occasions he told her that her grip on reality needs to be much firmer and that she can’t go on like this, being a starving artist, bohemian in her ways, always in dirty clothes, messy hair, mind in the clouds, her room cluttered with canvases, paints, brushes, rags and other stupid things. She was getting worked up again, just by thinking of him and with his desire to put her in this little box, where she would be this girlfriend who he will be glad to introduce to his friends. The truth was, she wasn’t starving artist. She had a full emotional and material support from her parents who firmly believed in her and in what she can do with her art. She tried, god knows she tried to tell her parents that it is ok for them to let her to be that starving artist, that struggling person. They didn’t want to discuss it. And she wasn’t dirty. Her clothes were somewhat touched one too many times with various colors. She didn’t mind. She loved it, now at least, she remembered that she loved it. And her messy buns and her bohemian ways. Finn was not who she taught he is. And she was the one who broke the whole thing off. She was done with that. She will find someone who will love her, profoundly for who she was, with all of the paint, mess, music, books, late wine glasses, stargazing from the roof top, crying for no reason, morning breath, and all of the other little shards of glass that made perfect kaleidoscope of one Clarke Griffin. At that point she was brought back into reality by a familiar voice of her friend.

‘Griffin, get your ass moving, I got my coffee and we need to leave now’ Raven hurried her towards the door where she almost bumped into people who were entering the coffee shop. In the mist of her trying to hold her coffee and bag, and book and her phone being pulled by her friend, she heard Raven mutter quick ‘Good morning’ but never saw to whom it was offered because at this point Octavia texted her with a location where she’ll meet them.

‘Ok, I’m coming Raven, what the fuck.’ Clarke didn’t know why she was pulled this vigorously by her friend. ‘Did you stole something, gosh…’

‘What? No…it’s just nice outside, I want to enjoy the Sun.’ Raven quipped.

Clarke halted in her tracks. ‘Ok who are you and what have you done with my friend? Sun? Enjoying?’

‘Ugh…You know that this past few weeks I was a-wall…’ Raven looked at Clarke and blonde just nodded. ‘Well the reason for my disappearance came into the coffee shop and I just couldn’t spend another minute with the person who sucks my soul out on a daily basis.’

‘What is happening on the job by the way, you never said anything to us. Can we help?’ Clarke offered.

‘Yes actually. Can you and O kill her, dismember her and scatter her remains around the city?’ brunette snorted and gave a side hug to the blonde. ‘I missed you. I miss my life at this point.’

‘It can’t be that bad? And I missed you…And O is going to impale you on a bow.’ Clarke hugged her friend back and laughed at Ravens facial expression upon hearing the threat.

They saw Octavia sitting on one of the benches in a small park, reading a book. When little brunette saw them she opened the case that was lying next to her and took out a bow. She stood up and pointed it towards Raven yelling at the girl. ‘Prepare yourself Raven, cause I’m gonna make one sweat ass Latin skewer out of you’ ,taking her sunglasses of so the daggers that she was sending towards Raven don’t have any problem reaching it’s target.

‘Oh who are you kidding O, how you gonna play your snobby little violin then? Raven put her hands up in mock surrender, knowing what’s coming. Octavia approached the girl and pocked her in the chest ‘I can always get another one’. Then she hugged her. She missed her. ’But it’s your lucky day, I’m out of spare ones. I broke last one yesterday.’

‘Was it on Bellamy? Please tell me that you whipped him so hard that the bow cracked.’

‘Actually she snapped it across her knee.’ Clarke said laughing.

‘O, come on…You are better than that.’ Raven hugged Octavia again so that smaller girl couldn’t see her amused face.

‘I am. But the bow wouldn’t cooperate.’ 

Octavia Blake was up and coming star in the philharmonic orchestra being the youngest violin player who was admitted into the ranks of most skilled musicians. She gave everything that she had to achieve this goal, and now, that she was here, she had to work twice as much to keep up. She was practicing twice a day, almost 3 hour sessions, alone and with her colleagues. It was draining, emotional, hard, and she loved it. It was a dream come through. Since she was 5, her whole life was subdued to the violin and practice, but now, with her 26th birthday coming, she was on the top. In the elite. And she was proud of herself.

The girls spent the next hour on the bench, chatting, laughing, arguing, but mostly Raven and Octavia, while Clarke laughed at their antics. She would sometimes zone out, for a minute, but that never passed by two brunettes. They knew that Clarke was thinking about Finn, questioning herself did she do a right thing. She always ended that little thinking session with a yes. She did the right thing. What she didn’t know is that Finn, after the break up went to Raven. And Raven wanted to tell her, but Octavia was adamant about not telling the blonde what happened. Because she knew that it would hurt Clarke. And she would be damned if she was the one who would hurt Clarke more than she was already. Finn was a pig. End of story.

‘Chikas, I need to go. The dragon needs to be fed, and I volunteered to be the one that it’s going to be beheaded. It was a pleasure knowing you…’ Raven stated with a dramatic sight. ‘I’ll call ya the second I slay her’ .

‘Oh how noble of you Ray, always the savior.’ Octavia mocked her while batting her lashes excessively.

‘You know it. This bitch came like a wrecking ball, whole department went ballistic. They treat her like she is Newton himself, and she on the other hand can never be satisfied. And since I’m her new appointed AP I have to endure every little shit she throws my way.’ 

‘Just stand up to her. Who the fuck she think she is?’ Octavia questioned. Who is this person that treats Raven like this? The girl is god damn genius. Not that she would admit that. 

‘Actually, the wicked witch is good in what she does. Her math is of the charts, she knows her shit. It’s just that she acts like I’m an complete moron that doesn’t know squat.’ Raven said indignantly. 

‘But, but…you are a genius.’ Clarke chimed in like a infatuated teen.

‘Damn right I am.’ Reven leaned down to hug Clarke and then Octavia. While she was hugging her she whispered ‘We need to tell her.’ Octavia just nodded.  
After Raven left, Clarke drifted into this state of questioning everything, and Octavia had it. 

‘Clarke.’ She used her stern voice which made Clarke to snap out of her reverie.

‘You did the right thing.’ smaller girl took Clarkes hand and squeezed it.

‘Why does it feel wrong then?’ was all that Clarke could say.

 

Lexa was on her way to meet with Anya and Lincoln in their usual spot. Coffee was good, it was quiet, not too many people, always had fresh flowers and it smelled nice, people who worked there were friendly enough, but not too friendly. Just how it’s supposed to be. It was close to the gallery and she could enjoy herself not thinking about the traffic or being late. She was there first, because if anything, Lexa was punctual, like a Swiss clock. She looked through the shops windows to see if it’s crowded and if her favorite spot was taken. She saw a girl who sat there, listening to music, but the reflection from the Sun disabled her to see the girls face. While she dabbled with the idea to go in by herself and wait the rest of the crew inside, she saw Lincoln approaching her with a big smile and stretched arms.

‘Lexilium!!!’ he hugged her and picked her up.

‘Lincoooln, you’l mess up my suit.’ Lexa squalled but never the less hugged her best friend.

‘Ah, always pressed and dressed to impress. You look like a million bucks and then some,sis.’ Lincoln, Anya and Lexa had this bond that went beyond blood and family. They were best friends, accomplices, they were together through the bads and the goods. 

‘Than don’t ruin it Hulk. I see that all the chopping and stirring gave you some muscle mass.’ Lexa squeezed his biceps and then punched him lightly. Lincoln was always bulk. Handsome some might say, but for her, he was always this brother with obsession for gym. And wasn’t even that, Lincoln always played sports, even now, when he wasn’t working he loved to swim, hike, ride a bike, or his least favorite – run. 

‘Shut up roadrunner bird, you are the one to talk.’ Linc pinched her side. At that moment Anya appeared and greeted them.

‘What’s up younglings?’ she hugged Lincoln ‘How’s work bro? Stressful much, I see you’ve gone bold. ‘ she went for his head but Lincoln was quick to dodge her.

‘ Really Anya? Same joke, every single time?’ crossing her arms, Lexa shook her head  
.  
‘What’s wrong with Devil Wears Prada over here?’ Anya motioned with her head towards Lexa. ‘Did your iPad died or something?

‘You are late.’ Lexa rolled her eyes.

‘As always. What’s your point?’ Anya deadpanned.

‘Girls, lets get inside, I got some news to share.’ Lincoln smiled and pointed towards the entrance. Anya went in first and was almost hit by the two girls that were hurrying to get outside. Lexa and Lincoln were talking behind her, not seeing what was happening. Anya rolled her eyes when she saw brown haired girl and heard her ‘Good morning’. Lexa felt that someone brushed her on the way out, but when she turned away from Lincoln no one was there accept Anya who had this sour expression on her face. They smell nice, she taught to herself. 

They sat at the table with their drinks in front of them, and Lexa could still smell the faint scent of perfume, the same one she smelled when they got here. But the shop was now almost empty, only two more tables being occupied, one by two guys who worked on their lap top, and one by bunch of college students. But this scent wasn’t coming from one of them, she knew. She dropped the subject and started the conversation.

‘Ok, who goes first? Linc, you said you got some news, so you have the honor to open this conver-session.’ Lexa smiled and nodded to Lincoln.

‘Conver-session? Dork.’ Anya quipped.

‘Nerd.’ Lexa jabbed.

‘Oh my God, are you two on your periods or something. Ease up. Leave this banter for later.’ he admonished them.

‘Yeah, you are right Linc , go ahead.’ Lexa made a zipping motion across her lips.

‘And by the way, don’t you ever ask a girl if she is on her period. The only thing that’s stopping me from bashing your face right now is that we are in a public place.’ Anya gave Linc death glare.

‘Noted.’ Lincoln felt a little uneasy. ‘So, my sisters, beautiful ladies, friends and family…Since yesterday, Polis has a new chef. Moa!’ Lincoln pointed to his grinning face.

‘Oh MY GOD, congratulation!!’ Lexa leaped and tightly hugged Lincoln ‘You worked so hard for this ,finally.’ she cupped his face and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

‘Yeah, good job little bro. You earned it.’ Anya smiled and fist bumped him.

‘I will call you next week to come and have a little diner, now on the house, because chefs can do that.’ Lincoln proudly announced.

‘I can’t wait to come and see my brother Ramsaying people around’ Lexa clapped like a little child.

‘Ok, calm down dork.’ Lincoln patted her. ‘So, Anya how’s transition going so far? Good?’

‘No. Not good at all. I don’t know how they functioned before I came. Department is a mess. Students were picking physics as their minor just because it was easy to pass. The staff is made out of bunch of idiots, and biggest of them all is actually my appointed AP. In what word I can’t pick my AP?? They have founds, but they don’t do shit with it. WHY? Because they are GOD DAMN Ignoramus squad.’ Anya finished her rant, her head in her hands. ‘It’s going to be pain in the ass to make this thing work, but so help me god, physics will be feared of when I’m done.’  
By this point Lincoln laughed his heart out while Lexa sported a smirk on her face, sipping her coffee.

‘So, it’s all good I see.’ Lincoln concluded.

‘I saw the bitch.’ Anya said and looked at Lexa.

‘Anya…I told you not to call her that.’ Lexa said exasperated.

‘I call ‘em like I see ‘em….She tried to be friendly and welcome me. I told her to piss off.’ Anya shrugged.

‘Why are you like that? I stayed friends with her, I don’t hold a grudge, why should you?’ brunette asked genuinely baffled why Anya hated Costa, even two years after their brake up.

‘You should too. I don’t hold a grudge, I simply hate her. Do I have to remind you what she did?’ Anya was pissed.

‘No you don’t. I know what she did, and I forgave her. End of story.’

‘That’s the point Lexa, it was end of story for you. She continued her life like nothing happened, and you are emotionally still at the same spot where she left you.’  
‘I’m not in love with her…’

‘No. But you are not in love. Period.’ Anya simmered down now. It pained her to look at her sister and best friend for these past two years. ‘ Have you let anyone in since her. No. Will you. NO.’

‘I can’t hate her…she showed me what love really is.’ Lexa whispered  
.  
‘And what’s that Lex?’ Lincoln questioned  
.  
‘A weaknes.’ she looked at them with a stern look.

‘No Lexa… infatuation is weakness. Idolatry is weakness. Pinning is weakness. Not love.’ she took Lexas hand in hers and squeezed it. 

‘And what would you know about it? You haven’t let anyone in since…I don’t even know. ‘ she retracted her hand and looked at Anya thinking that her statement was check mate. Anya looked at her watch and stood up.

‘Lexa…I know two things about myself. First – I am a genius. Second – I know well enough how big of a pain in the ass I can be, and no one showed enough skill and will power to live with those two things. ‘ she leaned on the table and looked Lexa in the eyes. ‘ But you lil sis…you are meant to be loved and cherished. And that bitch failed.’ With that she turned to Lincoln and patted him on the shoulder.’ Congratulation bro. I’m proud of you.’. With that she left the coffee shop.

‘Hey…you know she means well.’ Lincoln squeezed Lexas hand.

‘I know…but her ways are harsh sometimes.’ He gave her apologetic look even though he didn’t do anything.

‘Linc, I have to go to the gallery. It’s been crazy these past few days.’ With all of the new attention and renovation they been having, Lexa submerged herself into being busy and not having spare time.

‘But I’m so glad for you.’ She smiled at him and hugged him. ‘And we’ll be expecting that invitation’

‘Oh, you’ll get it, don’t worry. I have to show to the others how beautiful and smart sister I have.’ 

‘Oh Linc…’

‘And then you.’ he laughed at her.

‘Asshole.’ She punched him on the arm. ‘See ya looser’

‘Latter dork’.

Clarke was standing in the middle of the room, blank canvas in front of her. Octavia had rehearsal and wouldn’t be back for another two hours at least. She could do anything, and in the past she would make this time worth it. She wondered at what point in the past her unstoppable inspiration vanished. She was always full of ideas and drive to paint, sketch, draw. Just make. And now this blank canvas was mocking her. Nothing. Nothing came to mind, nothing made her hand uncontrollably fly toward the white surface, make her lose herself in the haze of creative process. She looked around her room. It was spacious, or it should be. But this clutter of everything made the room look like she was in a prison cell. In a way, she was. She haven’t cleaned it in over a month, to be more specific, since she broke up with Finn. First week after the breakup she felt great, like world is her oyster. She even painted. Albeit those paintings portrayed dark color scheme, she painted. As the time moved on, and weeks gone by, she found herself in a rut. Did she made the right choice? Has she ruined a good relationship that hit a bump on the road? Did she gave up easily? Deep within herself she knew the answer was no. She didn’t love him anymore. She wasn’t in love with him, and she strived on love, on giddy emotions, on being happy and content. She wasn’t that with Finn. Not anymore at least.  
She listened to Uh Huh Her, and this particular song spoke to her. She wanted to Explode. But instead she found herself imploding with all of her fears and insecurities , let them drive her senses. There were no colors or shapes in her mind.  
Octavia came in and saw the blonde in her room. Clarke was laying on Octavia’s bed, splayed, hands and legs all over.  
‘I can’t be in my room.’ is all she could offer. But that was it. She really couldn’t, not with all that memories that still lingered, stuff that was still his.

‘Ok. This is happening. I’m going to order some food, take a quick shower and in the meantime, you will get your perfect little ass and make us some coffee. We are not sleeping tonight.’ Octavia announced. Clarke lifted her head with a questioning look. 

‘Wh…what are we going to do then?

‘We are going to clear that pig sty of yours. Every inch of it. Throw everything that you don’t need, and I mean everything. The rope goes first.’

‘But it’ll take us hours to do that.’

‘That’s why we need coffee and lots of it. I don’t have a morning rehearsal , so I can sleep in. But this moping shit ends now. He was a pig, not supportive, not generous, not intuitive to your needs. He goes. Tonight.’ 

Clarke looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. ‘Thank you…’ she whispered and hugged Octavia’s midsection still sitting on the bed. Octavia hugged her shoulders and ran her hand between blondes shoulder blades in soothing circles. ‘You deserve world Clarke….’. Now crying Clarke just nodded.

‘But first you deserve a clean fucking room, and I deserve semi clean roommate.’ She patted Clarkes back amusedly and looked at her.

‘You are a jerk…but I love you still.’ she got up and wiped her tears. 

‘How could you not? You never stood a chance bitch.’ dark haired girl kissed her forehead and started to dial the number to order some food. Clarke went into the kitchen and put the cattle on. It’s going to be a long night.  
After Octavia showered they ate and now they sipped on their coffee looking at the Manhattan that was visible from their balcony. ‘ You think that we will find someone….the one…In this sea of people?’ Clarke asked. ‘Yeah…I have to believe that there is someone for me. But…even if there isn’t, it’s not going to be end of the world, you know.’ Octavia looked at Clarke wanting to tell her that everything will be ok with her, that she was to special not to be loved and protected. ‘Yeah…you are right O…’ they sat in silence for a little while, listening for a still live streets, people chatter in the nearby bar, clacking of heals on the pavement beneath them. Lexa walked and cursed herself for wearing her heels today. She should know better, she wasn’t a rookie. She knew that she would be standing all day long overseeing renovations. Now she had to walk four more blocks in this torture contraptions and she could end her sentence by hailing a cab, but this walk needed to be reminder not to wear heels at work, at least not until everything settles. She tried not to think about the pain that she felt by humming along to Hozier who sang about being Sedated. She wanted to sedate herself right now so she could numb her senses. She finally reached her building and remembered that her building doesn’t have an elevator and that she lives on highest floor.  
‘Oh fuck this shit…’ she concluded her punishment and took her heels of. Upon entering her apartment she was met with relentless meowing. Artigas was hungry and angry. She left this morning and now what felt years later she came back and the first thing that she did wasn’t petting him. She left her bag on the table and dropped her heels haphazardly. ‘Artigas, if you ever decide that these are worth chewing….I wouldn’t be opposed to that. Just so you know.’ She went to the bedroom and took her suit off, hanged it in the closet and made her way into the bathroom. Today was not the day for showering. No. It was bath time. A long warm bath with some music on, her favorite candles and relaxing bath bomb. She let water running and went to put some music on. Norah Jones was her pick. Relaxing voice and gentle music was all that she needed. She lit some candles in her bedroom and in the bathroom and by that time bath was almost full. She stripped end entered into warm water that smelled like emulsion of forest met with field of flowers. She relaxed instantly. She remembered how she enjoyed these baths with Costia, when she was happy and fulfilled. Don’t go there Woods she reprimanded herself. Was Anya right? Should she be angry? Resentful? Costia was the one, or so she thought . She wasn’t the one for Costia, that was for sure. She still felt a pang of disappointment, sorrow. Was she not enough? Apparently not. Will she ever be enough, to anybody, ever? She sure hoped so.

‘Griffin…I lived with you all this time and I wasn’t aware of this pile of shittrash that you collected here…How is this even possible?’ Octavia and Clarke stood in front of pile of black garbage bags filled to the brim. 

‘I don’t even know honestly…’ she really didn’t.

‘Ok, now we need to vacuum that carpet and swipe every single surface with warm cloth and some Ajax, that shit needs to be disinfected.’

‘O, you speak like it was really a pig sty…I’m not that nasty.’

‘I know you are not, but just in case…’ she proceeded to take vacuum. ‘I’ll vacuum this motherfucker, get some rag and start cleaning. It’s 2am. Mamma needs her sleep. ‘

They finished with everything around 3am. Laying on clean sheets looking around now more than spacious room Octavia felt proud. Proud of her friend. She went through this whole ordeal not once complaining or crying. And that was a win in her book. She was a doer. She let Clarke willow around, but enough was enough. They finished this first chapter of Clarkes road to recovery. Now, the next thing was finding her something to do. To make her leave her art for a while just to rush back to her. She will have to make Raven help her with this one.

‘O…thank you, again. I wouldn’t have done this without your help.’ Clarke turned her head to face Octavia.

‘Don’t mention it…Do you feel better?’

‘Oddly…yes. I feel lighter too.’

‘Well…I’m glad. Now, I need to shower this of off me and enter la la land. Do not wake me up. I will kill you.’ Octavia slid of the bed end exited the room leaving Clarke alone with all this space. And possibilities. Clarke showered too and went onto the balcony sipping warm tea. She felt her eyelids getting heavy. Today was nothing for the mankind, but it was a big step for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now ;)


	3. Never be afraid again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dots are connecting, slowly but surely.

Anya was sitting in the professors lounge, hunched over piles of papers that needed to be read, filed and presented to the department, in hope that administrative set back that was in full force, somehow will be successfully averted. She needed her program to be ready, like yesterday, but that wasn’t the case.

‘What kind of shit I got myself into….’ she whispered to herself and empty room. Cup of coffee that was on the table was now empty and she needed her caffeine intake to increase if any of the work is to be done. The Doors were playing in the background, she thought she might as well try to make this extra time working a little bit bearable by putting some of the classics to play and do it’s magic. She always worked better when music was playing, but nobody needed to know that. She heard footsteps approaching, slight drag gave away who the intruder was. Anya knew that Raven had some trouble with her leg, but she never dared to ask since Raven and her were not on the same page since day one. She couldn’t blame the girl, she wasn’t exactly approachable, in life in general, she knew that she borderline molested her with extra paperwork that needed to be done before she started as a professor, but to be honest, brunette never tried to be anything less but pain in the ass. The sassiness that girl displayed on a daily basis annoyed Anya to no end. But…amused her also. 

‘What is it Reyes…I’m low on my caffeine and I’m not in the mood for another mishap.?’ Anya semi shouted into the room. Raven halted, but just for a second. She approached Anya and dumped a large amount of papers across the table that was already filled with papers that were minutely arranged.

‘I see you have a death wish.’ Anya growled looking up to meet Ravens eyes. Girl looked tired, exhausted, barely standing on her legs. Raven looked defeated. That softened Anya, she knew that girl was doing almost same amount of work as herself. 

‘I finished your assignments for the program. I solved every math problem, and followed that up with theory that was behind it. You should be pleased, but I know that you won’t be…because, why would you, right?’ Raven said crossing her arms, tilting her head, daring Anya to say something to her. Anya just smirked.

‘I’m sure I will find that something is not right. Nobody in this department, since I came here, did something just as I asked them to.’

‘Well I’m not them. I do not appreciate you comparing me with those wannabe’s.’ Raven quipped.

‘And why is that? You were a part of this…assembly when I came here.’ Anya motioned with her hand to the stack of papers that should represent catastrophe that this department was.

‘Because I’m a genius. And I never wanted to be part of this.’ Raven stated as the matter of fact. Blonde smiled, she was indeed amused with this girl. She also wanted to know what Raven meant by that. ‘She never wanted to be part of this.’ They heard steps coming from the hallway and Anya saw Raven rolling her eyes. 

‘Oh…Hi Anya….I didn’t know you were still here.’ Costia came in and greeted Anya. Blonde growled.

‘Reyves.’ she nodded to brunette.

‘Costodia.’ Raven nodded back.

‘I was caught up in some work, I usually don’t stay this late. What are you working on??’ Costia walked to the big table where Anya was sitting with Raven standing by her side.

‘Oh…just some planning. Murdering you and stuff.’ Anya smiled her most sarcastic smile. 

‘Wow…it’s so detailed. I didn’t know you cared so much.’ Costia was smirking to her face and Anya was second from losing it. Raven sensed hostility between the two so she jumped in.

‘We just had some fun with variety of possibilities, so we went little crazy with it.’

‘Oh Roven, you are quite a jokester.’ Costia chuckled and turned around to pick up her stuff.

‘You know it Cambodia.’ brunette fired back.

‘Oh… and Anya, would you tell your sister I’m excited for our lunch on Saturday. I missed her beautiful face.’ With that she walked away leaving Anya almost breaking her fingers when she hit the table with her hand.

‘I will kill that bitch…’ she whispered. Raven looked at her with disbelieve. 

‘The fuck was that?’ she sat across Anya looking at the blonde with baffled face.

‘I can ask you the same question.’ she looked at Raven with raised eyebrow.

‘Oh, she fucked up one of my best friends in the past. Since then I take every opportunity that I have to restore some balance in the universe.’

‘Well…I could say the same.’ They sat in silence for a moment. 

‘Ok Reyes, you are free to go. Save yourself.’ Anya waved her as if to just go and never look back.

‘I’ll stay and help…’ she took some of the papers to process. Anya looked at her with an amused smile.

‘And why the fuck would you do that?’ she finally asked.

‘First, if we finish this shit sooner rather than later, maybe you’ll get of my ass sooner…rather than later. Second, I find our newfound common hatred towards ArtFart amusing. And third…The Doors are playing.’  
Anya kept her façade on, but internally she was hugging brunette.

‘Ok…as I said, you have death wish. Go and get us some of that disgusting coffee from the machine.’ Raven stood up and headed to the coffee machine in the corner of the room. 

‘ And that Costodia shit…it was good.’ Anya praised Raven with a smile.

‘Yeah I thought so.’ brunette smiled back. 

Clarke was sitting on one of the benches in the Von King park sipping her coffee, her ears filled with some Portishead. She was reading some book that she found in Octavia’s bedroom and so far it was a good read. She was waiting for Murphy to show up, but since she came earlier she could enjoy this warm may day. She felt Sun hitting her face and she tilted her head up like she was smiling to it. 

‘Griffin, you waiting me for so long that you gone mental?’ she heard Johns voice through her earphones. She took them out and raised her sunglasses to her forehead.

‘No dickhead, I’ve been mental all my life.’ she smiled and got up to hug him and kiss him on the cheek. She loved Murphy. He is a writer, a published one, New Yorks new star. He was well versed, sometimes sneaky, charming, funny and all around good guy. His shabby hair covered his reading glasses, a scarf that he was wearing flu around him with every gust of wind that came. He was a friend, a good one.

‘ That’s true my dear, but what artist isn’t?’ he smiled. ‘So, how’s my favorite artist? You working on something new?’

‘I’m doing ok. I think I am at least….And no, I’ve hit the wall and motherfucker is so big I can’t get past it.’

‘I know how it is. I have found myself in the same spot many times.’ he looked at her with understanding eyes.

‘And how did you passed it in the past?

‘I tried to concentrate on my fears. Write around them, through them. Make them my bitch, you know.’ Clarke just nodded.

‘What are you afraid of?’ Murphy asked her.

‘I don’t know….bugs…’ she shrugged. Murphy laughed and tapped her on the forehead. ‘I know you are blond, but I don’t think you are that dumb.’

‘Shut up…’ she acted like she was insulted. 

‘Come on…you know what I mean.’ he looked her in the eyes.

‘Yeah I know…It’s just stupid.’ she averted her gaze to the field near them.

‘I’m sure it’s not. What is it Clarke….’

‘You know when you find yourself in this perfect bubble, when your inspiration is peaking, everything you do is just as it should be?’

‘Yeah…’

‘Well…I found myself in that state when I was with Finn….at the beginning at least. I loved him. I loved the whole world. Colors were brighter, my strokes effortless, I didn’t have to second guess myself as an artist.’ she paused and looked at him again. ‘Now I second guess everything. What does it mean, is it worth it? Who would find it beautiful or meaningful?’

‘But as an artist you must do that. Question everything. Isn’t that what we do? In order to take these hard times and make them timeless when we hit that peak… We need to evolve, change, grow…You are not the same artist that you were two years ago. Hell, you are not the same person. And that is good.’

‘I know…I’m just trying to adapt to this new me.’

‘So what is it. What is your fear.’

‘It’s a paradox really…I’m afraid to love again….But at the same time I’m more afraid of not loving again.’

‘Oh baby blue, you are so lost.’ he hugged her and laughed. She looked at him in disbelief. ‘The hell Murphy…?’

‘I’m saying that you are on the right path. As an artist and as a human. Fuck, we were all scared of the same things in some point in our lives.’

‘We were…?’

‘Hell yes….before I met Bellamy, I thought I’ll never be with someone that will love me and respect me. I have a draft from that period that would put Poe to shame. Everything was dark and bad…’ he smiled at her. ‘God I was such an emo.’ They laughed.

‘You still are, kind of.’ she nudged him with a shoulder. 

‘It’s for the art.’ he mocked a hair flip with a deeper voice.

They sat in silence for some time, Clarke leaned on his shoulder and he rested his chin on her head, hugging her.

‘Clarke…’ he gently rubbed her arm.

‘Yeah.’

‘Use this time. Create. Spill it all on canvas. You won’t regret.’

‘You are right. I’ll call it a Black phase. It’s my turn to be emo.’ He pinched her waist and she squealed.

‘Bitch…’

‘Ass…’

 

Lexa was reading some old episode of Dylan Dog while she ate, and Anya glared at her. Anya came to Lexa’s apartment and made her famous spaghetti Bolognese, hoping to catch up with her sister since they really haven’t had a decent conversation since that outburst in coffee shop.

‘Can you dork it down a little?’ Anya said while whirling her fork around the plate.

‘Um….what? Did you said something?’ Lexa looked up at her and Anya smiled.

‘You are so caught up in that comic, you haven’t said a thing almost whole evening.’ 

‘I’m sorry…the work is tiring, this is my way of unwinding.’ She apologetically closed the comic.

‘I know, it’s just… It’s like you don’t want to talk to me at all.’ Anya looked hurt and Lexa felt sorry for her behavior.

‘I’m sorry.’

“No, I’m sorry. For what I said to you. It was called for, but still. I shouldn’t be so hard.’

‘You shouldn’t…but I get it. I get why you feel about Costia like that, and I get that you are worried. But you need to trust me when I tell you, there is no way that she can hurt me again. I don’t love her anymore. Not like that at least. She is just a friend.’

‘Costodia…’ Anya mumbled.

‘What?’

‘Nothing…. You have a lunch with her tomorrow.’ It wasn’t a question. It was a fact and that confused Lexa.

‘Yeah…how do you know?

‘The bitch told me.’

‘Anya she has a name.’

‘We are not going through this again. I will not stop calling her that. It’s my right and I have no intentions of changing that.’

‘Jesus…fine.’ Lexa accepted defeat.

‘So…how’s Ontari?’ 

‘Um…that’s random. She is fine I guess.’

‘She is cute. And single’

‘Yeah…why, you interested?’ Lexa knew where this was headed.

‘No you dumbass, you should be. The girl is bouncing around you all the time with those smiles and fluttery eyes.’

Laxa laughed, a honest, full, rich laugh.

‘Are you fucking kidding me? That girl is a lost puppy that Nia had to throw away from MoMA so she send her to me.’

‘So what, have some fun, nothing serious.’

‘With Ontari? No fucking way. She is getting on my nerve as it is, I don’t want to have bigger problem with her.’

‘Well sis, you need to get laid.’ Anya pointed at Lexa with a fork.

‘How…how did we get to this subject? First of all, if anybody needs to get laid, point that fork to yourself. And second of all, I have a date.’ she said casually. Anya choked.

‘Fuck, you almost killed me. WHAT? With who??’ Anya was coughing in between words.

‘There’s this girl, Luna. She works on reconstructions in the gallery. We’ve been flirting for quite some time, and today I asked her on a date.’

‘Is she hot?’

‘She is aesthetically pleasing.’

‘Lexa…’

‘Ok, she is hot.’ Anya jumped in her seat clapping her hands.

‘Someone is gonna get LAID. Oh…how did Ontari take that?’

‘Oh, who the fuck cares…’

Anya was happy for her sister. Finally she is moving on. Even if it’s just a date, that is a big step for Lexa, getting out of her comfort zone. She needed that, to get out there and see that world is much more bigger than Costia. That made her think of Raven and she absentmindedly smiled. Raven is cute, right. She is pain in the ass, but she is funny and smart and hard working and hot. Raven is hot. She shaked her head at the thought. Get your head out of the gutter Woods, you work together.

 

Lexa entered a small bistro where Costia waited for her. She was looking forward to this lunch because she wanted to share with Costia good things that are happening in her life right now, and she knew that her ex would be happy and proud of her. She looked around the bistro and spotted beautiful dark skinned girl. She had a haircut, Lexa noticed. Now her locks weren’t long, they framed her face regally. Costia was always one of the most beautiful girls that she ever met, she couldn’t deny that. Lexa approached her and hugged her from behind, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

‘Hey beautiful’ Costia smiled and hugged Lexa back. ‘Oh my God, is it possible, you look better and better every time I see you?’

‘Why thank you Cos.’ she smiled. ’Loving the new look.’

‘This old thing’ she tousled her hair with her hand ‘I needed to change something’

‘Well, it looks good on you’.

They sat and talked and laughed, going back and forth between past and present, jobs and life in general. Lexa told Costia about her date with Luna and how exited she was, and Costia told her about Roan and their life.

‘So…Anya.’ Costia said between two bites.

‘I’m sorry about her, you know how she is.’ Lexa looked apologetically at Costia.

‘Don’t worry, I always knew how to handle Anya. She doesn’t scare me.’ she laughed. ‘Well…maybe a little. But I’m a big girl.’ 

‘That you are.’

‘That Reyes girl is always with her. I’m surprised that she didn’t scare her of by now’

‘Mhmm…’ Lexa just nodded. Who the fuck is this Reyes girl? Why don’t I know about her, Lexa wondered. But she would be damned if she sold her sister to Costia now. So she didn’t ask anything. Oh, but Anya will hear about this. They said their goodbyes and went in different directions. As soon as Lexa turned the corner she pulled her phone and called Anya. After two rings, Anya answered.

‘Did Costia begged you to come back to her?’

‘Oh yeah, she cried and begged.’

‘Wait…what. Really’

‘No you idiot. But she told me something that shocked me and to be honest, insulted me to the core.’

‘What she do? I’ll rip her face off.’

‘Anya…’ Lexa smiled.

‘Yes, what is it Lexa, tell me.’ 

‘Who is Reyes girl?’ Lexa asked and the silence from the other side amused her. She waited. Then the answer came.

‘I’ll kill that bitch.’ The line went dead. Anya hung up on her, and Lexa knew that this girl meant something to Anya, otherwise she would shrug this off like it was nothing. She quickly tipped up the message to Lincoln. She will get this party started and Lincoln is going to help her. Anya won’t know what hit her.

 

Clarke walked around living room all dressed up, her make up done, hair scooped up into a messy bun that she somehow could pull of and make it classy. She flipped through the channels waiting for Octavia to get ready so they can move their respectable asses out. 

‘O, we are already late. You know that Bellamy is going to flip and make this whole evening about how irresponsible you are.’ she shouted to Octavia who took her sweet time. 

‘I don’t give a fuck about Bellamy.’ smaller girl said as she walked out of her room dressed in tight black dress. Clarke whistled.

‘ Damn O, you clean up nice. You look hot. But it’s just a dinner with your brother and Murphy.’ 

‘So? Is there some law against looking good? Besides you look like you are going on a date. Where are you going to flaunt those titties? ‘

‘ Octavia, it’s called cleavage. And I can flaunt my titties wherever I want. Let’s go.’

They called a cab and after 25 minute drive they exited the cab and entered the restaurant that had a Michelin star. Upon entering they spotted Murphy who waved them over to the table.

‘Ladies, you look stunning?’ he greeted them and hugged them. ’ Please, sit down. Isn’t this place amazing?’

‘Yeah, it’s something.’ Clarke said while she took everything in. High ceilings, brick walls, pristine white table cloths with glasses and flowers. It was modern but at the same time warm and inviting.

‘ You guys hit the jack pot or what. This is a pricey place.’ Octavia was impressed. 

‘Well, we wanted to celebrate few things and I wanted to treat you guys. Plus, I know the head chef from when I did that piece for New York Times. He is a nice guy and one hell of a chef. You will enjoy, no matter what you order.’ At that point Bellamy came from restroom.

‘Took you long enough.’ he kissed both girls on the cheek. He sat next to Murphy and gave him a peck on the lips.

‘So guys, what are we celebrating?’ Clarke asked. Just at that moment waitress came and served them with glasses of white wine.

‘I ordered already, I hope you don’t mind.’ Bellamy smiled and looked at the Octavia. ‘It’s your favorite.’ 

‘Oh, thanks Bell. So what’s the fuss all about?’

‘Well…’ Murphy started, taking Bellamys hand into his. ‘ I said yes.’

Octavia was still confused looking between her brother and Murphy, but Clarke got it. She covered her mouth and screamed, but it came out muffled.

‘I don’t get it…Clarke calm down, what the hell. Bell?’ Octavia was oblivious. 

‘Well O…I asked John to marry me, and he said yes.’ Bellamy said with big smile on his face, his eyes filled with happy tears. There was moment of silence. And then Octavia happened.

 

‘OH MYYYYY GOOOOODDDDD. MY BROTHER IS GETTING MARRIED’

 

Lexa and Luna both burst into laugh.  
‘Well, she is happy for her brother, that’s for sure.’ Lexa said after the scream from another part of the restaurant interrupted this date that she thought was going pretty smoothly. They couldn’t see the happy girl since the restaurant was L shaped and the screaming girl was on the other end. But they could hear her. Loud and clear. Whole Manhattan could, it seemed.

‘Yeah, she is.’ Luna smiled. ‘But he is sealing his life right there.’

‘What do you mean?’ Lexa asked sensing that she wouldn’t like the answer.

‘I mean, what’s the point? Getting that piece of paper. That doesn’t guarantee you that you will love someone your whole life. Or vice versa.’ Luna shrugged.

‘That is true…but I always found some poetic beauty in it.’ Lexa defended.

‘Well, that is just stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against being with someone your whole life, just getting married. I don’t see the point.’ Lexa didn’t see the point of this date anymore. She knew that it was stupid, and that Luna is a great girl, smart and funny, but her blatantly saying to Lexa that something that she found beautiful is dumb just didn’t sit well with her. But she tried to go pass that feeling. She will try to have a nice time. She will give her best.

‘Excuse me, I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.’ Lexa got up and gave Luna a small smile. When she entered the restroom the familiar scent filled her nostrils. She remembered it from the coffee shop, it was distinctive, powerful but sweet at the same time. She was alone in the restroom so whoever is wearing it must have been here prior her entrance. She liked it a lot. It made her smile for no reason, it smelled like home to her and she knew how stupid that is. When she returned to the table Luna smiled to her. ‘Where were we?’ she asked.

‘Luna…I think that you are wonderful and beautiful.’

‘Thank you Lexa, I think that you are too.’ Now on top of everything, Lexa felt awkward when Luna said her name. It didn’t sound magical. Well Woods, you are going to die alone.

‘And I had a wonderful time this evening with you…but I don’t see this going anywhere past the friendship point.’ Lexa blurted out and waited for Luna’s reaction. The other girl just smiled.

‘Well Lexa…I’m really sorry to hear that. I enjoyed your company. But at the same time…thank you for saying that. For being honest with me. I appreciate it.’ she raised her glass. Lexa mimicked her movement.

‘To friends…staying friends?’ Luna asked more than stated.

‘Absolutely.’ Lexa took a sip. ‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’ Luna asked.

‘For being normal I guess. You had every right to storm out.’

‘Naah…that’s not my style.’

‘I’m glad.’ Lexa smiled.

‘So, what are we gonna do about that Ontari girl? I’d love to mess with her head.’ With that Lexa and Luna started to have more relaxed conversation full of laughter and jokes. Friendship started to form that evening. And Lexa was ok with that.

 

On the other side of the restaurant laughter was filling the air as well. They were slightly tipsy and they didn’t care. Clarke saw a tall, handsome man approaching their table. Murphy recognized him and smiled his big smile.

‘Lincoln, my man.’ Lincoln gave them same big smile as he stood next Octavia who just turned around to see who is this guy Murphy is talking to. ‘Oh my fucking god…’ she muttered. 

‘I’ve heard you already have your man, John. Congratulations, to both of you.’ He shook Bellamy’s hand and then Murphy stood up to give Lincoln a hug. 

‘Linc, this is Clarke, our princess.’ Clarke shook Lincolns hand and rolled her eyes at Murphy’s nickname for her. ‘Hello and ignore him.’ She gave him a warm smile.

‘Oh please, I see where he got that. You look as regal as they come’

‘Well aren’t you a charmer.’ Clarke laughed. ‘But thank you.’

‘And this is Octavia, Bellamy’s little sister.’ At that point Clarke saw that her friend had her mouth open entire time, gaping at Lincoln.

‘The queen…’ Lincoln stuttered as he gently placed a kiss on her knuckles. ‘It is my absolute pleasure.’

‘Um… yeah ‘ Octavia was lost for words. Who the hell is this muscled guy, that looks like a demi god. She saw his uniform, pressed white chef shirt that had his name on it with one black star above it.

‘She is usually much more talkative than this, but your wine sure as hell shut her up.’ Bellamy piped.

‘Shut the fuck up Bellamy’ Octavia snapped back to reality. ‘The food was delicious. You are a magician.’ Lincoln blushed a little. 

‘I hope that you left some room for desert.’ He looked around the table, because if he kept his eyes on Octavia he would lose all ability to speak.

‘We would like some. Surprise us.’ Murphy was just happy and he wouldn’t even care if Lincoln started to french kiss Octavia right here on the table. 

‘I’ll do my best.’ He glanced at Octavia one more time before he turned around and made his way back to the kitchen.

‘I’ll marry him.’ Octavia stated when Lincoln was out of sight.

‘Octavia’ Bellamy tried to reprimand her but to avail. 

 

As Lincoln entered the kitchen he saw Lexa sitting alone at the table, reading a book. Where is her date? He made an order for five pieces of Sacher – cake, he took one and headed towards Lexa.

‘Hey sis…what happened? Where is Luna.’ Lincoln sat down and pushed the plate near Lexa. ‘I brought you your favorite.’ 

‘Oh Linc, you shouldn’t have.’ she smiled. ‘She had to go…but we had a fun evening. I stayed to say goodbye, since you were entertaining guests’.

‘They are celebrating an engagement, I went to congratulate them. And I met my future wife in the process.’

‘Wait, what?’ Lexa stopped her fork midair.

‘You’ll see her on your way out. Black hair, blue eyes, looks like a goddess. Octavia…’ he made dreamy face. ‘Even her name is perfect.’

‘Don’t let Anya see you like that, all lovey dovey.’ She finished her cake and picked up her things. ‘Ok bro, I’m gonna hit the road. Dinner was exquisite. Thank you, I owe you.’ She hugged him and kissed his cheek.

‘Please, you are welcomed any time sis. Love you. See ya soon.’ He kissed her too. ‘Don’t forget to check her out.’

‘Jeez, I won’t you, doofus’ she chuckled. She slowly approached the exit when she heard something metal falling to the ground. And that scent again. She turned her head and looked at this Octavia girl. She was pretty. She was smiling to someone that was now almost under the table trying to pick up fallen fork. Brunette was smiling, and she had a nice smile. Not too bad Lincoln, not too bad. She exited with that scent lingering around her. I’m going mad.

 

Clarke crouched, as gracefully as she could, trying to reach the fork that her now drunk friend haphazardly pushed off the table. When she was hunched like that she saw these legs, that went for miles in knee length burgundy dress with black pumps on her feet. God damn.


	4. Kiss your eyes and kiss your palms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a little Clexa AU tumblr aesthetic for this fic, check it out
> 
> http://titelbach.tumblr.com/post/151243988822

It was unusually rainy day, it was summer so the rain that was pouring came in short but furious intervals. Air was still warm and somewhat sticky filled with the scent of freshly washed streets, rain and summer storm that was in full force at the moment. Lexa stood on the doorstep of her balcony, leaned on the door frame, watching this beautiful display of nature’s power. She loved the storms, wind blowing furiously, sky getting almost black, that somewhat apocalyptic scenery always gave her chills. Trees on her street danced to the unforgiving rhythm that wind dictated, every leaf moving in its own accord while raindrops fell harshly in unison. Her stereo was blasting with Vivaldi’s Storm, and she always thought that it was perfect representation of fury and havoc that summer storms created. 

It is Sunday, day when she could unwind and rest, forget about her work and grueling tempo that as of late, took so much of her energy. But she kept her eyes on the prize, and the prize was renovated gallery space that will be filled with art of her choosing. She still couldn’t believe her luck. After finishing college she worked as a volunteer in MoMA where she met Costia, who at the time was protégé of one Nia Queen, the most relentless, hardass, intuitive art manager in art world. Nia was the one whose word could make or break career of an artist, weather they were novice in the art world or established veterans. She knew her shit. Lexa caught Nia’s eye after only 2 weeks of her volunteering , and Nia showed her, very explicitly, that Lexa can reach unimaginable highs in this field, but only if she expand her knowledge on daily basis, open her mind, shed all of the fears and most importantly, trust herself and her instinct. Costia left MoMA shortly after Lexa’s arrival, but that was enough time for the two girls to discover that they were wildly attracted to each other. Their relationship evolved in time, with Lexa slowly but surely climbing the art world ladder and Costia establishing her name as a professor at Brooklyn University. Her art students were monitored throughout their schooling by Nia and later Lexa and number of them submitted their work for numerous exhibitions whose patron was Nia Queen. After working for Nia almost 5 years, Lexa entertained this idea of a gallery that would be starting point for best students in Art Department that Costia was part of. She was scared shitless when she knocked on Nia’s door that day determined to put her plan into motion and was, and this is understatement, blown away by Nia’s reaction. She supported her one hundred percent, giving her all the blessings along the way. For the first two years Lexa and Costia worked closely, where Lexa listened to her girlfriend like she knew everything. And the truth was, Costia knew her shit too. And gallery thrived, and Lexa established her name anew, now without mighty Nia behind her back, hovering and helping along the way. “The 13” gallery was on the map of prominent art lovers, collectors, enthusiasts, students, writers long before Nia came to Lexa with a plan of merging this gallery with institution that was MoMA . Truth was, Nia found out about wreckage that was caused by Costia to her relationship with Lexa, and made a move that was risky, at best. Nia knew how much love, sweat and sometimes tears Lexa put into this “The 13” project, and she was utterly scared that this newfound dynamic between her ex workers would inevitably project itself on the work. She wouldn’t have that. Lexa made her way under Nia’s skin throughout the years and older and experienced women was fond of young and smart girl who could lose her career on the back of a bad break up. So then, she made a choice that would inevitably show the art world where her trust and allegiance lies. She proposed Lexa this deal, and Lexa was by all means skeptical. Nia knew why. Lexa had her autonomy during this years with this gallery. She would, with the help of her girlfriend, chose featured artist and handpick their works that were going to be displayed. Now, with Nia and her proposition, Lexa saw immense opportunity to develop and expand, but also feared of confinement and slight repression, in terms that her usually final say, wouldn’t be so final anymore. Queen sensed that and reassured Lexa that this new arrangement wouldn’t , by any means diminish her fortified hold of this business. And Lexa caved. She accepted the offer and hoped for the best.

After only two months, new influx of business was palpable and she knew she had to change some things in order to be able to keep up with this new situation. Lexa was in a constant touch with Nia, and after approval of her, now savior, she decided to close “The 13” for couple of months and redecorate and rearrange the space. The space was big, in an old brick house, in good part of Brooklyn, in terms that most pompous audience would move their respectable asses out of Manhattan to come here. With two stories to be dealt with, she found herself having less and less time for herself. And Lexa loved her alone time. She could dork herself to the maximum, listen to the music that lifted her spirits, read books and comics, dance around the apartment with Artigas in her arms, sit on her balcony and drink her tea, watch tv shows or obscure documentaries. She loved history, in fact, when she was in high school she thought that history was her future. How oxymoronic. But in her senior year she fell in love with art and its history, so she dejected from the previous plan, just a little. This field gave her so much opportunities that she could ever imagine, and with Nia in equation, she felt like she was on top of the world. In past years she traveled around world, she knew Paris and Rome like palm of her hand, she learned French and was descent with Italian and German. She saw almost every art piece that she was fascinated with during her college years and was privileged to find out about some new once that captured her interest. She learned new things everyday, just as Nia told her and she was grateful for every opportunity that she got.

Only thing that made her sad from time to time was her parents. Her biological parents to be exact. Because she had parents who loved her and cherished her at every step of the way since she was four. She doesn’t remember the faces of her birth parents, she couldn’t remember anything about them to be honest. She just remembers the reason why she ended in this make shift family that ended being her safe haven, rock and constant support throughout her life. They left her. Put her for adoption. And she often wondered, in her earlier days, what would become of her if those two angel like figures never looked at her. Never took her in consideration. Never gave her the chance of home, love and support. And not just her. Anya too. Anya was already part of this family when she came in as a new addition. Eight year old girl with dirt blonde hair, beautiful face and piercing eyes greeted her with a snort. She was with them for two years, but she was still reluctant to let go and accept this new life that was placed upon her. And now she got a sister who doesn’t look like her at all, has this long, messy and slightly curly brown hair, wide green eyes and long lashes, slight frame that a little gust of wind could move. But after that first snort, Anya fell in love with the little girl. She saw that she wasn’t the only one who was unwanted and pushed away. She saw someone who was less resilient than her, someone who was naïve, good and pure. She saw a child that didn’t want any of the things that happened, to happen. And she instantly loved her sister. After her arrival, Anya for the first time called her adoptive parents Mom and Dad. So, Lexa wondered from time to time, would she be here if she was never left and rejected? Would she finish her college, move across the country and start a life that she always wanted? Would she ever had immense support by her birth parents like she has with her adoptive ones? Would she ever had a sibling that would gave their life for her, and would she ever felt the same for them? She wondered, but answers never came, because she lived this life. Where she had all this good thing. And she was grateful for each one of them.

Lexa was torn from her reverie by her phone that was buzzing on a hard surface of her dining table. She picked it up and saw a three letter word on a display, and her face was lit with radiant smile as she answered.

‘Mom, hey!! How are you?’ she greeted the woman who was her biggest supporter. Continuing conversation she picked up Artigas from the sofa so she could lay down and he just restored his previous position just on top of Lexa this time. She absentmindedly scratched behind his ear while she spoke with her mother. After about half an hour of conversation she hung up and dialed Anya’s number.

‘Sup, sister from another mister?’ Anya answered with amused lilt to her voice.

‘Jesus Anya, will you ever answer you phone as a decent human being?’ Lexa breathed out.

‘I do, just not with you.’ Anya responded. ‘So, whats up?’

‘Did Mom called you today?’

‘No…why, did something happened?’ Anya questioned.

‘No, she just called me to tell me that her and Dad are coming to New York for some convention that is happening next week…Wednesday, I think she said.’

‘Well, that’s awesome, we didn’t see them for how long now…?’

‘Fuck Anya… we haven’t seen them since Dads birthday and that was in February.’ It donned on Lexa how long has it been since she saw her dads smile and felt her moms arms wrapped around her.

‘Oh my God….we neglected our own parents. But, I mean they live in fucking Los Angeles, they work 24/7 and we are not exactly sitting on our asses here, picking each others noses.’

‘True…But I’m excited to see them. I missed them so much…’ Lexa said with some sad undertone.

‘Ok sis, don’t get all teary on me…We’ll see them and spend time with them. It will be fun. How long they are staying?’

‘I don’t know actually, mom didn’t tell me. I think they don’t know either.’

‘Where are they staying? I hope they are not thinking about some hotel with the two of us here?’ 

‘No…Mom mentioned some friends in New Jersey, they will stay with them. Apparently, some old colleague of Dads invited them and won’t accept no for an answer.’

‘New fucking Jersey? You know what, fine…but I’m not gonna drive there everyday just to pick them up and leave them off.’

‘Oh you are such a lovely daughter…’ Lexa mused sarcastically.

‘If you wanna play Uber girl with them, be my guest.’

‘I didn’t say that…’ Lexa defended.

‘Who’s poster child now? Hypocrite….’ Anya knew that her little sister wasn’t too keen on being personal chauffer to their parents either. 

‘Sloth’ Lexa attacked. 

‘Kiss ass….oh,you know what? Moms calling me right now. I’m gonna tell her that you don’t want to drive them around and spend extra time with them.’

‘Bitch, you wouldn’t dare…’

‘Oh, but I would…. Gotta go, see ya.’ Anya hung up and left Lexa with flabbergasted face while she looked at her phone.

 

Octavia was in the zone, which meant that Clarke could stay home and have a private concert or she could drag he ass to the nearby café and kill her time with a good book or sketching something. She was still having trouble with her creative outpour or with the lack of it. She wanted to listen to Murphy’s advice and do her best to move from the dead point. Her easel was standing in the middle of her room, brushes and paint neatly staggered on the small table near it. At that moment Octavia was playing rather chirpy and uplifting piece, and she wasn’t feeling it, so she took her phone and plugged her earphones in it. Her mind was instantly filled with gentle voice and the song imposed one question : Are you a pusher or a puller? What was she, Clarke asked herself while guitar and voice danced around each other. That very question spurred something in her. She wanted to get back to basics, who was she, would she push herself to the brinks of unknown territories, or will she pull her sorry ass out of every problem that may occur. And now, Clarke wasn’t a fucking coward. She would always head first dive into uncertainty, for that was the only way to reassure her versatile spirit. She loved challenges, foreign territory gave her rush in the past. When she became this scared individual frighten of god damn brush and a little paint? So basics it was. She picked two favorite colors from her pallet and prepared herself. This is going to be her come back, healing her in the process. So she lost herself again, in movement that came naturally, absence of thoughts made her feel like a vessel for some higher power that gave her the absolution.  
God knows how many hours she spent lost in her mind and music, since she started her work, rain stopped, the Sun came down and now city was bathed in the moonlight, stars glistening in the sky and city was alive once again. Cars honking, people chatting, couple of dogs barking, but none of that mattered. Clarke was in her world, finally. Octavia came to see what she was doing hours ago and when she saw the blonde caught up in her work, younger girl smiled one of the biggest smile. But she would be damned if she stopped her friend and brake her little bubble, so she left the blonde to do her magic. But now, hours later, Octavia was little worried. She knew how her friend operated. She would lose herself but she would still came out of it when she needed to drink some water or even go to the bathroom. This, she never saw. So she made her way silently into the blondes bedroom lightly knocking on the doorframe. Clarke was standing in front of her work, arms crossed over her chest, gazing into the canvas. She didn’t heard Octavia. Younger girl then tentatively walked into the room to stand beside her friend and look into this new work. When she stood beside Clarke and looked into the painting, she gasped. Her breath hitched and eyes immediately watered with tears of…happiness? Sadness? Curiosity? Incredulity ?

‘Clarke…’ Octavia croaked shaking her head slightly, rising her hand to put over her mouth, now with tears streaming freely.

‘I…don’t know what to think of it.’ Clarke responded, eyes still glazed with unknown emotion and sentiment.

‘It’s-it’s…’ Octavia stuttered, lost for words. She was looking at this intricate dance of blue and green, intertwining, clashing, under toning one another, merging at one point and in another taking separate ways, twirling around into itself. Where blue started, green took over and finished drowning again in the bluest of blues. But the blue wouldn’t be so prominent if it wasn’t for green, so green, so warm and stoic, opposed to the cold and inviting blue. Octavia reached with her hand for it, careful enough not to touch still wet relief. It was like a 3D with blue under green that cracked in all of the right places to reveal it’s rival. 

‘Clarke…looks like it’s alive, moving in front of me….playing fucking mind games with me.’ brunette finally spoke with full voice. ‘But what does it mean?’ she turned her gaze to her friend.

Clarke was still looking at her creation. ‘Me.’ She concluded. ’This is me.’

What compelled her to make such a creation was beyond her reasoning. She was never an abstract lover, she liked shapes of nature, faces, movement, live things that were never still, never the same. But as she absorbed her painting more and more, she felt it. Moving, reshaping, twisting and bending. Perfect alchemy was displayed before her eyes and she created it. And what scared her a bit, but made her much more excited was this feeling of more. She could do more, she wanted to do more. She took her phone and snapped the picture of her making. She sent it with a simple statement above it : ‘John…motherfucking wall is down. And the world beyond is beautiful.’  
Almost instantly she received an answer : ‘Baby blue, see ya on the corner of Immortality and Imperishability.’

 

Raven was in fucking pain. This weather changes didn’t help her or her now throbbing leg. This whole day was literal shitstorm, with her aching leg, rain, stack of papers, that Anya swore was last one that she will ever see, plus her friends were absent. She understood that this predicament was due to her vanishing almost completely of the radar, but her friends understood, or they told her that, but never meant it. She missed Bellamy’s and Johns engagement impromptu party, just because she was dreading of looking Anya in the eyes and informing her that she couldn’t do something in time frame that blonde set for her. So instead of celebrating with her friends, she sat with Anya in the lab, preparing and checking everything that should be checked twice. If any of the students is adventurous as Raven was in her college years, something would go BOOM really quickly. So they tried to prevent that. This dirty blonde girl got on her nerves, like really messing with her sanity, but Raven swore she will be the one making older women snap first. It was unspoken agreement by now. She sensed that Anya was on board with it. Her phone started ringing, and her heart leapt when she thought that Octavia or Clarke is on the other side. But, as it leaped, it plummeted down as quickly when she saw the name on the screen. It was professor Forest, surely trying to add some more work on top of this shitload in front of her. Raven answered just after she took a deep breath.

‘I swear I will fucking quit if you are calling just to pile more of this crap into my lap….with all do respect’

‘Calm down you psychedelic squirrel, and ease off. I’m actually calling to tell you that I wanna take some of it back. I finished my part, and since that is the last of it I want to take some of the load off.’

Raven recoiled her head from the phone in such a speed that she almost pulled a muscle. She regained her footing quickly enough to answer.

‘Is this some sick twisted joke you are pulling on me?’

‘No.’ Anya deadpanned, and Raven just narrowed her eyes, still not believing what she was hearing. 

‘I don’t buy that shit, not for a second.’ Over the time, Anya and Raven created this way of communicating that allowed both of them to express themselves fully, but in conversations that involved only two of them. Anya was her superior and a college professor, so in front of the colleagues, Raven and Anya were epitome of professionalism. Brunette liked Anya because of that, she didn’t mind when Raven under mimed her authority, and was quick to answer her in the same manner. Anya wasn’t such a bitch that she initially thought.

‘Raven, I’m not fucking around. I will have some obligations, starting mid of the week, and I’m not sure for how long I will be occupied with that. So I want to finish this shit as soon as possible, so you can start enjoying your shortened vacation.’

Raven felt a strange pull inside of her, and if she didn’t know better, she would think that she will miss Anya. 

‘Ok, but I’m home, and all of this shit is here with me… ‘

‘Send me an address, I’ll come to pick it up’

‘Ok…I’ll send you the info. See ya….’ Raven hung up and sent Anya her address and floor number, as she reclined back on the couch exhaling. After half an hour, her doorbell rang and she got up with some effort and headed to the door. 

The door opened and revealed utterly languid brunette. She looked in pain, her posture slightly leaned on the good leg, but the big bags under her eyes were indicators of nights that were spent in everything but sleeping. 

‘Well, you look like shit.’ Anya greeted her AP but immediately regretted it when she saw brunette wince in pain when she turned around motioning her to come in.

‘ Yeah well…tell me something I don’t know.’ at this point Raven was rendered of any witty commend or come back, she was in lot of pain. ‘Here it is, I divided it, but check it out, just to be sure that I didn’t fucked up something.’ she motioned to the pile of neatly stacked papers on the desk, plopping herself on the couch. 

‘No, I’ll take everything …’ Anya muttered and started picking up everything from the desk. She was stopped with Ravens hand coming over hers.

‘Don’t….I’m not incapable. My mind still works just fine.’ She looked at Anya with determination and silent plea. Anya didn’t move, their faces now so close she could almost feel Ravens breath.

‘How bad is it?’ she asked in low voice. Raven was taken aback by this question. They never spoke about her leg, she didn’t know what happened to her.

‘On days like this…it’s almost unbearable.’ Brunette answered in the same voice lowering her gaze onto their still touching hands. She retrieved hers and straightened her back. Anya nodded and picked up her pile of papers. She turned on her heals headed to the door when she turned to Raven again.

‘Don’t come tomorrow.’ she said and as Raven opened her mouth to reply Anya cut her off ‘Shut up. I’ll be working from home too…’. Raven just nodded with silent gratitude in her eyes.

‘And Reyes…Tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at 7. Doll yourself up, we are going to celebrate.’

‘And what the fuck are we celebrating?’ Raven inquired.

‘End of this strenuous time we endured together.’ Anya winked and left the apartment.

 

Lexa entered the gallery with her coffee in one hand and bunch of paint samples in another, exhaling loudly as she plumped everything on the nearby table. Luna was sitting on the far end looking over some plans, with amused smirk on her face as she took Lexa’s figure clad in skinny black jeans and white button up shirt with rolled sleeves to her elbow, long, soft hair pulled up in a pony tail with strands hanging out here and there framing her beautiful face in just the right way. She never knew what happened on that date, why Lexa abruptly ended it like that, but she will never ask, because she might not like the answer she’ll get.

‘Hey boss…looking good today.’ Luna greeted her.

‘Well, I highly doubt it Luna. It’s over 100 degrees outside, and after that rain yesterday, you know that humidity is off the charts, so I’m sweating like a hoe in the church…but thank you anyway.’ Lexa breathed out while she tried to detach her shirt from her body. ‘Motherfucker…I just showered.’ she concluded in exasperated voice.

‘As opposed any other day…’ Luna was in a playful mood.

‘Not today Luna, please…’ Lexa begged her. She took her coffee and started sipping when big shouldered guy came into the room, smiling widely at the sight of Lexa.

“Hello boss, I missed you yesterday.’ He beloved with his deep voice as he patted her back making her spill her coffee all over her shirt. 

‘God damn it Gustus’ she held her hands in the air while looking at the stain that threatened to destroy her shirt.

‘Oh…I’m so sorry Miss Woods, I didn’t see…I’m sorry.’ man that stood like a rock in normal situations, now seamed smaller than the mouse, his bearded face contorted into fearful grimace full of remorse.

‘Its ok Gus, really…’ she patted him on the arm with a soft smile that made him feel slightly better. ‘And call me Lexa, how many times I have to tell you that.’ She winked at him. He giggled. Giggled. 

All three of them rolled their eyes as young girl came into the room, appearing in front of Lexa in a second.

‘Oh my God Lexa, it’s going to stain, quickly take it off so I can wash it.’ Lexa looked at the girl with raised brow, seeing Luna behind her shoulder with shit eating grin on her face.

‘Ontari…I really don’t think its necessary for me to strip down.’ she smirked. ‘Besides, If you want to see me naked, you’ll have to work a lot harder for that.’ then she winked at now almost red faced girl.

‘I-I didn’t…I wanted just…Um…” Ontari stuttered.

‘Relax pumpkin, she is joking.’ Luna approached her and put calming hand on her shoulder. ’Breathe.’

‘I’m gonna go and try to wash this off, when I come back I want to talk to you two about some mural ideas I have for that north wall.’ Lexa looked at Ontari and handed her some papers.

‘Here, put this on the windows and in front of the gallery please.’ with that she turned and headed towards the bathroom.

‘I like that idea Commander’ Gustus commented.

‘LEXA. CALL ME LEXA’ she shouted from the stairs. Luna and Gustus laughed as Ontari went to put the ads on the windows.

 

Clarke strolled down the street, heading to see Raven, and she wanted to enjoy this sunny day. In her plain blue shirt and white shorts she still could feel suffocating heat but she didn’t mind. Her inspiration is back, it’s summer, she felt good. As she walked by the gallery that she always dreaded off she saw this pristine young girl putting some kind of ad. She approached her, despite the fact that everything in her body screamed not to do it. She read what was written on the paper. ‘They rejected you once, what makes you think they won’t do it again’ Clarke was thinking but never the less took the picture of the ad that contained details such as phone number and e-mail address .

‘You should submit something. You never know.’ Ontari smiled and entered the gallery. Clarke could see that space is being under some kind of construction. ‘Maybe she doesn’t work here anymore.’ She said to herself as she lingered in front of the entrance. She saw another girl that was talking with one big guy, motioning to the wall. ‘Maybe…’ she said and turned around walking away.

 

At that moment Lexa emerged from the other room.  
‘Ok, so about that mural…’


	5. Metal on our tongues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Got a new job, life got hectic. But I'm back :)

Clarke knocked on the door feeling happy and excited that for the rest of the day she will have her best friends in the same spot, doing random stuff, watch stupid TV, talk, gossip, laugh, eat, fucking chill for the first time in, what it seems like, ages. Door opened abruptly showing Raven in total disarray with wondering eyes and slight grimaced face.

‘I’m here bitch, let’s sloth it down’ Clarke exclaimed but quickly recoiled when she took second glance at her friend.

‘Raven…are you ok? What the hell happened?’ she entered placing a bag full of junk food and ice cream on the dining table, turning towards her friend.

‘Well…spill!’

‘I…I think I have a date with a harpy tonight.’ Raven muttered. She motioned to the blond to sit on the couch which Clarke obliged, waiting for Raven to come back with two beers, handing her one while slumping down on the spot next to Clarke.

‘Wha…who? How?....Who?’ Clarke stuttered in her question. She didn’t even know that Raven was playing the field these days, she was always working, but maybe she had some sliver of time to indulge herself with some innocent flirting.

‘It’s professor Forrest.’ brunette looked at Clarke and swigged a big gulp of her beer.

‘The one that made your life miserable for the past couple of weeks? Raven nodded.

‘The one that drained last ounce of vivaciousness out of you? Raven nodded again, this time more vigorously.

‘God damn….And you said yes? Clarke was dumbfounded.

‘Well, that’s the thing…I don’t even know if it’s a date.’ Raven shrugged.

‘Ok….I can’t do this without Octavia and a reasonable amount of alcohol in my system.’ blonde took her phone and typed up a quick message to her roommate, pleading her to leave her rehearsal and drag her fine ass over to Raven’s.

‘Clarke, I’m scared shitless over here. She told me, not asked me, that she will take me out to celebrate. Told me to fancy myself up. Told me to make room for her in my free time and my schedule. Told me!!!’ Raven was panting at the end.

‘Raven…. No one tells you to do shit.’ It donned on Clarke why her friend felt so misplaced in this situation.

‘Exactly! I never take that sort of shit, no matter who you are.’ She slapped Clarke on the arm to emphasize her point.

‘But you said yes….Do you even like her?’ Clarke prodded.

‘I mean, she is easy on the eyes… She is relentless, smart as fuck, snarky and all around no bullshiter. I would be turned on immediately if it was someone else. It’s just…I never looked at her in that way. She was always this constant in my days, that I knew would scatter the last particle of my sanity. I want to kill her for fuck’s sakes.’ she was pacing around living room while she explained herself.

‘But…’ Clarke knew what was coming.

‘But I want to fuck her as much. If not more…’ Raven stopped and looked at Clarke wide eyed. ‘I’m so fucked, am I?’

‘You don’t even know.’ she saw Raven fidgeting with her shirt. ‘But, you are bad bitch Raven, a god damn genius and you got this.’ she pointed to her. ‘You got this.’

‘Yeah, I got this….Yeah…’ brunette looked a little more at ease. ‘Wait…what exactly do I got?

‘This date, dumb fuck.’ Clarke scoffed.

‘I don’t even know if it’s a date!!!’ Raven shouted.

‘Do you want it to be a date???’ Clarke shouted back.

‘I don’t know!!!’ Raven was livid by now. Door behind her opened and Octavia walked in, placing her violin case on the floor, kicking her shoes off.

‘What are you peasants shouting about? I could hear you all the way downstairs.’ She plopped herself beside Clarke.

‘Raven is having a mild mental breakdown and I am trying to be supportive, but cautious friend.’ she handed her beer to the smaller girl.

‘So, same old – same old.’ Octavia winked to Raven, while girl that was still standing threw her hands in the air.

‘Ok, come on….lay it on me, what is happening?’ Octavia sat at the edge of the couch, fully aware that her best friend is having some kind of a crisis and she will do anything to help her. Half an hour later, all three of the girls sat on the floor, looking each other, reaching the point of mutual agreement.

‘We on the same page?’ Raven questioned while two other girls nodded.

‘Yes Rey, just be you. Whatever this is, just have a nice time, god knows how it’s going to be once the semester starts.’ Clarke patted her friend on the back.

‘Plus, you get a free meal out of this.’ Octavia smiled and winked at Raven.

‘Oh geez, thanks O, always looking on the bright side.’ Rolling her eyes, Raven got up slowly. ‘And now….hook me up with something nice to wear, mamma needs to look sickening. And Clarke, you are doing my make up, I’m gonna get BAKED!’

‘You watch too much RuPaul’s Drag race, let me tell you.’ blonde smiled and got up.

‘Ok…let’s do this shit.’

 

They spent almost two and a half hours picking Raven’s closet, looking for a perfect outfit, matching things, just to dismiss them two seconds later. Raven had some pricey pieces of clothing in her wardrobe, reminiscence of older days when she had to get dressed up for charity events trying to extract money from filthy rich people that didn’t even understand what was her job. But they would get a nice plaque with their name on it and a seal that was acknowledged and recognizable all around the world. That was enough for them, and she didn’t complain. At that moment Raven’s phone buzzed, and she checked her messages.

‘It’s her. Telling me, again, to dress nicely. At this point I’m not sure if she doesn’t believe in me, that I can dress properly , or are we having a fucking audience with the god damn president.’ she exasperated.

‘Maybe she is nervous, just like you, and trying to cover all the bases.’ Octavia quipped.

‘I’m not nervous.’ Raven defended. And really, she wasn’t, she was just lightly freaking out. That’s not the same.

‘Oh yeah, sure… You are calm as fuck. By the way, it’s almost seven o’clock.’ Clarke knew her friend was losing her mind.

‘What!!!” Raven screamed, blood drained from her face.

‘Calm down you idiot, it’s only 4.30…but good thing you are not nervous.’ Clarke smirked and nudged Octavia that was laughing and rolling on the bed, clenching her stomach.

‘Eat a dick.’ Raven pointed a middle finger towards Clarke. “Why I’m I keeping you around, for fuck sakes…’ she muttered to herself.

‘Because you love us fuckwad. Now go get your stinky ass in the shower, when you get out, Clarke and I will have your outfit ready. Go, go…’ she pushed her friend to the bathroom. When Octavia heard water running, she turned to Clarke, narrowing her gaze.

‘What?’ Clarke asked, sensing Octavia’s eyes on her.

‘You are next you know?’

‘For what?’

‘We need to find you a date. You need to get back in the game. It’s been too long, and I think it’s a sin that you are depriving this world from that ass and cleavage, as you call it.’

‘O, I’m not really in the mood for dating right now…. My inspiration is back, and I think it’s a smart move not getting involved with anybody. I should use this time and create.’

‘Bitch, I’m not saying go and get married, I’m saying you need to get laid. Boy or girl, or both.’ she raised her brows. ‘I don’t care.’

‘Jesus Octavia, it’s been maybe three months since Finn. You are acting like it was years.’

‘Oh, don’t give me that bullshit princess, you and I both know that you didn’t let Finn touch you for quite some time before you broke up.’

‘I just didn’t feel like it…’

‘And I’m not blaming you. I’m saying, you need hot, sweaty, grimy, risky sex with total stranger.’

Clarke looked at her like she had two heads.

‘Whaaat…no harm no foul.’ Octavia shrugged it off like it was nothing.

‘Maybe, we’ll see.’ Clarke knew that her consenting to it in the future will shut the brunette up. For now, at least.

‘On the other note…read this.’ She handed her phone to Octavia.

‘This is cool…you should submit. I know you’ll get it if you do.’ Octavia threw the phone back to Clarke.

‘Yeah….It’s for “The 13” gallery.’

‘Oooh, hell fucking no.No.NO.’ Octavia was livid. ‘Those motherfuckers are still there just because you begged Raven not to blow them up. And you know that I wanted to tear that bitch apart. No.’ she looked at Clarke. ‘What did you do? What did your stupid brain do???’

‘I already…kind of…submitted.’ Clarke said while turning her head around, so she wouldn’t be on the line of the shitstorm that was coming.

‘You what??’ Octavia spat. ‘After everything that that women said to you?’

‘I don’t think she works there anymore…’ Clarke defended.

‘I don’t fucking care Clarke. She ruined you. You wanted to leave art after that. You couldn’t hold a brush for a year almost. A year Clarke. And now you are going back. For what? More humiliation? Are you out of your god damn mind?’

‘They didn’t say anything, I might not get it….Jesus O, calm you tits.’

Raven got out of the shower, clad in only white towel around her torso, hair still wet looking at Octavia that was pacing around the room.

‘What the fuck is going on?’ she asked.

‘Operation 13 is in full effect immediately.’ Octavia stood by Raven who sported the biggest smile she could produce.

‘FUCK YEAH’ she shouted. ‘Oh, I needed this, I’m gonna fuck them up so good.’ She started pacing around the room rubbing her hands ominously. ‘O, I think I had an orgasm just now.’ She said blissfully.

‘Um…the fuck is operation 13 guys?’ Clarke questioned, but Ravens demeanor gave her the slightest idea what it could be.

‘Let’s just say that justice will finally be served.’ Raven assured her.

‘Ok, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know what that means, but I stand behind that veto I once gave you. No one from that gallery is to be harmed.’ Clarke switched her look between Octavia and Raven.

‘But…’

‘No one! And you are not going to blow up that gallery either.’ She stood up and pointed her finger to Raven.

‘Guys, just drop it, please.’ she whined. ‘It’s my career.’

Octavia and Raven exchanged knowing looks before raven turned around facing Clarke.

‘We will be idle.’ Octavia threw her hands in the air, puffing and grunting. ‘For now.’ Raven looked at Octavia. ‘But…if those ignorant savages say one bad thing about your craft…’ she rested her hand on Octavia’s shoulder ‘We strike.’

Clarke was scared at this point. She knew that her friends are being just over supportive, but the looks that she received from both of them made her feel uneasy.

‘Guys, are you fucking kidding me, you can end up in jail” Please, leave it. Please!’ she begged them now.

‘Fine, we’ll leave it. For now.’ Octavia finished this awkward conversation for Clarke, and shifted the topic on more urgent matter.

‘Let’s get Raven ready.’

 

 

 

Lexa sat at her desk, looking over some plans when Ontari strode in her office with fresh coffee in her hands, all smiles and fluttery eyes. Lexa was aware of this, and she found it amusing, most of the time, but now she wasn’t up for this game. It was almost the end of the work day, AC didn’t work due to reparation, her head started to hurt mid day and didn’t show any signs of subduing any time soon.

‘I brought you some coffee. I tought you might want it.’ Ontari chirped around Lexa.

‘Thank you, I appreciate it.’ she sipped slowly, letting warm and soothing taste to do its job. ‘Anything you need?’ she glanced up, spotting Ontari with plastered smile, nodding her head.

‘Somebody sent us submission…’ when Ontari read Lexa’s puzzled face, she tried to clarify more. ‘For the mural. Somebody already signed up. They sent a picture of painting, I forward it to you. It should be in your mail.’

‘Oh….thank you Tari…I’ll check it out right away.’ she started typing on her lap top, completely missing Ontari almost fainting after Lexa nicknamed her.

‘Ye…yes. No problem.’ Ontari stuttered, grin on her face threatening to split it in half. ‘ If you need anything, call me, I’ll be downstairs.’

‘Actually, you can go home. We are finished for today, so go get some rest, or go out. Catch up with your significant other.’ Lexa was now listing all possible reasons for Ontari to just go.

‘I’m single Lexa.’ Ontari spat, like that was all known fact.

‘Oh…well…you are free to go. That’s the point. Bye Bye.’ she smiled and waved with the flick of her wrist, eyes on the monitor of her lap top. That was enough for Ontari to turn around and exit the office, but not before she wished Lexa good night.

Opening her mail, she saw what was Ontari talking about. Girl, named Clarke Griffin, went to Brooklyn College, class 2010. Back then, she knew Costia was starting her career as a professor, so she would have cross paths with this girl, at least in her final year, but she never heard of this girl. When she opened attachment and the picture of her painting came across her monitor she gasped. This was everything that she imagined that the mural should be. And more. She hit reply quickly, typing away her response, hoping that this girl checks her mails regularly. When she finished, she hit send, and rested in her chair drinking now cold coffee, thinking why she never heard about this girl before. She will ask Costia about it next time she sees her. Surely, Costia couldn’t have been blind to this girls talent back then. For now, she just waited for this Clarke person to answer her, hoping that they will be able to work together.

 

Anya leaned on her car, waiting for Raven to come down. She was nervous, and why, she didn’t know. Wishing she didn’t quit smoking, because she could use one good drag of smoke right about now. ‘ _But why am I nervou_ s?’ she asked herself again. This was nothing, just two colleagues having dinner, innocent night out, unwinding after strenuous time they had in the past weeks. But…this was something more. She wasn’t unfamiliar with going out with her peers, and usually those nights would end up in some dicey bar, drinking cheap beer, playing darts or pool, having a good laugh, and call it a night. Now, she was all dressed up, make up on, hair done, fidgeting fingers, waiting for the girl that hated her, for sure, after all she put her through. To be honest, she wanted to do something nice for Raven, apologize for every long night, without actually saying it. Also, she wanted to know more about this girl. Even though they spent good amount of time together, they never really talked about each other, so the brunette is still a mystery for her. They will work together again, and she wanted to know her better, just being a good colleague, she said to herself. Her train of thoughts halted when she heard front door open and Raven stepped out on the pavement.

‘Fuck me…’ was all Anya could breathe out.

Raven was dressed in strapless maroon dress that was long just enough to cover her brace on her left thigh, long wavy hair framed her perfect face that had just right amount of make up, and that red, blood red lipstick. God damn. If the girl had any problem walking around with her injured leg previous day, she didn’t show any sign of that today. Clad in black stilettos, she sauntered over to the car.

‘Forrest.’ She greeted older woman and smirked, because Anya looked at her like she was some miracle, mouth slightly opened, still standing near the hood of the car. But then, Anya collected herself.

‘Reyes. You look decent.’ she said. That was all she could say. She couldn’t say what she was really thinking.

‘Same.’ Raven knew that Anya was surprised, she was aiming for this reaction. If that blondie had the nerve to boss her around all this time, now was the time for the payback. ‘So…are we going somewhere or are we having a picnic on the hood of your car?’ she asked.

‘Get in, smartass.’ Anya was fully back from her daze, but as she went back to the car, she thought what else she could do with Raven on the hood of her car. ‘ _Jesus Anya, you fucking maniac, shut it down_.’ she reprimanded herself.

‘We are going to Polis.’ she informed Raven as she started the car.

‘Wow, Forrest, that shit is fancy…how did you get us a table? Raven was really surprised with the Anya’s choice of restaurant. One of the most wanted places to go, if not most wanted right now in the city. How the hell she pulled it off? She was college professor, not a god damn rich spoiled low life. Or was she? She really didn’t know shit about her boss.

‘Let’s just say I know the right people.’ Anya smirked. They sat in the awkward silence until Raven reached out for the radio and turned it on. She didn’t know that Anya was capable of chopping her hand off right then and there. She didn’t know that radio is a big no-no when it comes to Anya and her car. Lexa knew that. Lincoln knew that too. Anya was the master of the radio game in her car and nobody touches it. She didn’t knew that. And she never found out, because Anya never said a thing.

 

 

Clarke and Octavia just finished tiding up Ravens apartment, just in case, as they said. You never know how this night is going to turn out. They sat on the couch, drinking beer, resting after the speed round of cleaning up. Clarke took her phone and saw that she had a new mail. When she opened it, she grabbed Octavia by her arm.

‘Oh my god!!’ she gasped.

‘What??’ Clarke, what?’ Octavia looked at the blonde.

‘She wants to talk to me. As soon as possible.’

‘Who does??

‘Owner of the gallery. This…. Alexandria Woods person.’ Clarke’s eyes roamed over the text of the mail, not seeing any other name on it. ‘See, I told you she doesn’t work there anymore.’

‘Motherfucker….You don’t know that.’ Octavia clenched her jaw so hard, she could cut a bitch with it.

‘You are right, I don’t. But, Alexandria want’s to speak with me. That’s all I need to know.’

‘Ok, we go there now.’

‘We?? Now??’

‘Oh, did you think you were going to go there alone? Psht…bitch please. I’m going there with you. As a moral support. And a muscle.’ Octavia concluded.

‘O, I really don’t think there is….’

‘Tell her you are on your way.’ and with that, that conversation ended.

 

 

Raven was really impressed. This place was something else. Everyone greeted Anya and smiled politely to her, but again, she thought, that was mandatory. She looked at the menu, and everything sounded delicious and expensive, so she had a hard time choosing what to order. Anya did brought her here, but she didn’t know how much was older woman ready to spend on this little dinner. Like she could read her mind, Anya broke her worried train of thoughts.

‘Order whatever you want. Everything is good here.’ she gave her a smallest of smiles.

‘I can see that, but…’

‘Whatever you want. I wouldn’t bring you here if I wanted to be cheap. Please.’

“Ok..’ Raven settled on the glass of white wine. Anya took the same.

Raven took in Anya’s appearance. She was pretty. Beautiful. Fuck that, she was hot in that obviously tailored gray pant suit, with a white button up long sleeved shirt, with those couple of first buttons unclasped, showing a hint of her breast curve. Her dirty blond hair was in a high ponytail, and she could see couple of small, thin braids coming out of it. Raven felt a little flustered by now, because Anya looked so fine, and she was sitting there, wondering what this was.

‘Anya, can I ask you something?’ Raven clasped her fingers on the table, tilting her head little.

‘Shoot.’ Anya said after she tried her wine.

‘Is this a date?’ Raven went for it. Anya looked at her with a hint of smirk, tracing her long middle finger over the rim of her glass. She leaned on the table to.

‘Why do you ask?’ she looked straight in Ravens eyes. But the truth was, there was nothing straight about this night.

‘Well…you ordered me to doll up, brought me to this fancy restaurant, we are drinking wine, candles are all over…I’m surprised you didn’t bought me flowers.’

‘Do you want this to be a date?’ now Anya put Raven on the spot, and she didn’t know what to say.

‘Let’s just eat and talk. We’ll see at the end of the night.’ Raven decided.

‘Fine by me.’ as Anya agreed. After some small chat their meals were ready and plates were put in front of them. After couple of minutes filled with apprising ‘hmmms’ and ‘ this is fucking good’, Anya looked at Raven.

‘How did you end up working at BC?’

‘Well…it’s a long story.’ Raven breathed out.

‘I have time.’ Anya told her with calmest of voices that made Raven appreciate Anya even more.

‘Ok, so….Let’s start from the beginning then.’ Raven told everything to Anya. How she was some sort of a wonder kind in the high school that landed her full scholarship for MIT where she studied mechanical engineering for two years, when people from NASA paid a little more attention to her, due to her Professor Sinclair that was her mentor. After her third year, they approached her with a job offer that was like a dream come thru for her. Except now, she had to cram at least two years worth of physic and aeronautics and astronautics during the span of one year, plus her chosen field of interest, mechanical engineering couldn’t be put on the back burner. But, she was some sort of genius on the paper, and she had a knack for math, so she successfully managed to finish her college education. After graduating, she started working for NASA, with her life in Huston, she thought that she had everything that she wanted. But after three years, something happened that derailed her life so much, that everything she just said looked like ancient history. She had this look in her eyes that tore Anya apart. What could happen to Raven for her to leave this dream job, fly across the country and start working at college as an assistant. She had so much to give and show, this world was losing brightness of her mind each single day that Raven spent out of NASA. And then she understood.

‘Your leg.’ was all Anya said. Raven nodded.

‘Laterally the definition of wrong place and wrong time.’ she said with a sight. ‘My boyfriend at the time, also worked there. One day I went to see him, bring him lunch or some shit like that, I don’t even remember. He worked on new fuel injection compartment that was still in trial and error phase. I came when error happened. Shit combusted due to some malfunction and exploded. I got out with almost broken spine and nerve that is ruined. He died. Five more men died. His name was Wick.’ she sniffed and rested in her chair. ‘Government felt guilty for some reason. I was on my way to become astronaut, they needed mechanics up there in the space. But after that I was no longer fit to fly. So, after all the money they spent on me, they decided to do something about that. They wanted me to go back to MIT and teach. But I was done with that. So I told them that I want to go to New York. My family is here. Or at least people I consider my family. I asked them to find me a job that has nothing with NASA and space. They found me this.’

Anya released the grip that she had on her leg, unaware for how long she had it. White knuckles received new blood flow and she reached for the second glass of wine for that evening. She just looked at Raven, not wanting to offer her ‘I’m sorry.’ She knew that Raven don’t want that.

‘So, that’s my story.’ Raven smiled sadly. ‘What a story for a first date, huh.’ she said absentmindedly. ‘Now, let me hear yours.’

‘No.’ Anya deadpanned.

‘Excuse me? Don’t be a bitch. Spill.’

‘I will spill it. On the second date.’ Raven looked at her wide eyed.

‘ You want a second date?’ Anya nodded.

‘After everything I told you?’

Anya nodded again.

‘You are a crazy bitch, let me tell you.” she downed her wine.

 

They finished with their diner and got up, leaving the place without paying. Raven didn’t know what was going on and she reached for Anya when a tall, handsome guy approached them with the biggest smile on his face. Raven was ready to flee, thinking that he came to collect the bill.

‘You wanted to sneak out without saying ‘hi’ at least?? I’m disappointed sis.’ Lincoln hugged Anya.

‘Behave.’ Was all Anya whispered to him.

‘And who is this gorgeous lady? Did you won the lottery or something?’ he reached with his hand towards Raven who was now amused by the lack of color on Anya’s face.

‘Raven Reyes, nice to meet you.’ she smiled.

‘Lincoln Meadows, pleasure is all mine.’ he kissed the back of Raven’s hand. ‘Did she kidnapped you?’ he pointed to Anya.

‘No, I came here willingly.’ Raven responded.

‘Ok Lincoln, ease up. We were leaving.’ Anya motioned towards door to Raven who took the hint.

‘Bye Lincoln, hope we see each other again.’ she patted his shoulder and walked off.

‘Me too.’ he made a kiss face to Anya who mustered all of her inner strength not to kick him. She mouthed ‘I’ll kill you’ silently.

‘Bye Anya. Call me.’ Lincoln looked unaffected by the threats that Anya showed him.

‘Oh I will.’ she faked a smile ‘You little shit.’ she whispered.

Raven was standing in front of the restaurant when Anya caught up with her. She saw that brunette was hugging her little frame. It was summer, but this night was chilly, so she shrugged off her jacket and draped it over Ravens shoulder.

‘Oh, really it’s ok….’ Raven turned around to see Anya, but what caught her eye were suspenders Anya had all night long. Her throat was suddenly dry. ‘ _Those suspenders can come in handy_ ’ she thought. When they reached Anya’s car, she told Raven to wait up a second. She opened up her trunk and took something from it. Raven couldn’t see what it was until Anya closed it. She rounded the car and presented her with beautiful bouquet of pink peonies.

‘You did bought me flowers.’ Raven was really surprised.

‘I did. But, as I waited for you I didn’t want to presume anything so I threw them back. But now….I think they are in order.’ she smiled.

‘Huh…who would have thought? Witch bitch is a sap after all.’ she cocked a brow.

‘Shut the fuck up and get in the car.’ she rolled her eyes, but still opened the door for Raven.

 

They drove back in silence that wasn’t awkward. Raven didn’t reached for the radio this time. She would just smell the flowers from time to time. Anya would be fine with that, except her gaze more than once fell on Ravens legs that were in black stockings with intricate black lace at the beginning. Her skirt rode up just enough to jeopardize both of them since Anya, now, lost all of her sanity. Raven caught her starring, but never said a word, praying that they would reach her home alive. She needed them alive at the end of this drive. They reached Ravens building unharmed. Anya parked the car, shut the engine down and looked at Raven.

‘Here we are.’ she said smirking. ‘Hope you had a good night.’ Raven was silent for a moment and then looked at Anya.

‘Oh I did. But it’s going to get much better.’ She threw the flowers on the back seat, immediately reaching for Anya, clasping her hand behind her neck, crashing their lips together. Anya was shocked for a split second, but recoiled quickly just to reach for Ravens waist with both of her hands, pulling her closer. Raven took one of Anya’s suspender and pulled it. She broke the kiss and looked into Anya’s eyes.

‘I want this to come off’ she released the suspender to enunciate her wish. Anya’s hand reached for Ravens stocking, grazing the ham of it, tucking her thumb in it.

‘I want this to stay on.’

 

 

 

Lexa was the last person that stayed in the gallery. Luna left fifteen minutes ago, and she stayed behind to wait for Clarke who answered her that she will be able to see her today. She was tired, but she didn’t want to prolong this conversation in fear that Clarke might change her mind. This girl had some skills and lots of talent, and Lexa was adamant about hiring her. Just hoping that the girl will say yes. She heard the door opening and she got up to round the wall that separated her office and the staircase. As she descended, she saw two figures. First one was strikingly beautiful brunette that carried a violin case. She was oddly familiar, like she saw her already somewhere. Person behind her was turned towards the great white wall that was designated to be mural covered. Brunette was looking at her, somewhat annoyed, but Lexa couldn’t dwell on it. The second girl turned around when Lexa acknowledged them with a simple ‘ _Hello_ ’. The blonde girl took a step to the right behind brunette and turned fully towards Lexa.

Lexa was sure she was above heart palpitations and sweaty palms. Above stuttering and fidgeting. Above idolizing. Above acting like a god damn teenager. But she wasn’t. She halted at the base of the steps, scared that if she took another step towards the girl, she would be sucked in those stormy blue eyes. So blue. She was sure angels looked like this, and Sun radiated same shade of color as this girls hair. And those lips are surely the same ones that poems are written about. _Am I dead_ ? She asked herself.

‘Hi…I’m Clarke Griffin.’ blonde girl somehow managed to say. Octavia stood there looking at this more than awkward situation that was unraveling before her. Why Clarke acted like she was deer caught in the headlights, she didn’t know. So she decided to break this suspense in the air.

‘I’m Octavia Blake, Clarke’s friend. And you are?’ she asked pointing her case towards Lexa. That made her aware of her surroundings and her job, and her existence. That also brought her back to that date night with Luna when Lincoln gushed about his future wife. Octavia. This was the girl. She reluctantly broke her gaze from Clarke and reached with her hand towards Octavia.

‘I’m Alexandria Woods, owner of the gallery.’ she shook her hand, admitting again, that girl is beautiful.

‘Alexandria’ Octavia quipped. She turned herself towards Clarke reaching for the blonde.

‘But please, call me Lexa. Clarke…’ as she shook the softest hand in the world she felt slight shiver that ran through Clarke as she said her name. And then it hit her. That smell. The scent that haunted her for weeks now. The smell of home. Scent of something indescribable. Just the scent of a person. Perfume that created divine alchemy when mixed with Clarkes skin. ‘ _I am dead_.’ Her hand was still cupping Clarkes when Octavia broke the moment again.

‘You want my friend to work here. Why should she accept?’ Octavia went straight to the business. Lexa heard her, but for the love of all holly and sacred, she didn’t want to let go of Clarke’s hand. And Clarke didn’t seem to mind. But that accusatory tone that Octavia used, snapped her back to reality.

‘Excuse me?’ she asked. Lexa was now in full working mode, rigid spine, head held high, hands clasped behind her back.

‘Don’t listen to her.’ Clarke interjected. ‘She is just being…protective.’ She shot a look towards Octavia, telling her to shut the fuck up.

‘All right. Let us discuss this in the office. Follow me.’ Lexa turned around and started ascending the stairs.

‘O, I got this. Please, don’t speak.’ Clarke spat.

‘Well, you obviously don’t. You blacked out for fucks sakes.’

‘Whatever. Just shut your mouth.’

They followed Lexa into the office and sat in the chairs opposite Lexa, large wooden table between them.

‘So…I wanted to tell you that I find your work exceptional.’ Lexa started, but was interrupted by Octavia who snorted. She let it slide. ‘After seeing your work, I’d like to extend the job offer to you. This mural is yours if you want it. We will provide all necessary material that you’ll need, paints, brushes, and everything in between. Whatever you want, you can have it.’ Lexa looked at Clarke with a small smile.

‘Thank you, really… I appreciate this.’ she smiled back, and Lexa died another death.

‘What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?’ Octavia cut in.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t follow?’ Lexa was done with this little spitfire, she was getting on her nerves rapidly.

‘Well…what happened between that time you ruined her life, and now?’ Octavia jabbed.

‘O, please….’ Clarke tried to stop her friend, but it was futile.

‘No, Clarke. I want to know what changed her mind. Two years ago you sent her an e mail that was filled with rejection, humiliation, ridicule, and uncalled slut shaming. Not that slut shaming is ever called for.’ Octavia was fuming.

‘I honestly don’t know what are you talking about….’ Lexa was really dumbfounded by these accusations.

‘Oh, she is playing dumb now.’ Octavia looked at Clarke who was wide eyed, rage shooting out of her eyes.

‘Octavia…’ Clarke warned her.

‘Clarke, are you really going to let that slide?? .’ Octavia shouted.

‘She didn’t send that mail.’ Clarke pointed towards Lexa.

‘Who cares, it said The 13 Gallery below that bitche’s name. They are all the same righteous assholes.’ Lexa had it.

‘Can you please stop acting like a rabid animal and explain to me what the hell are you talking about.’ Lexa spat. ‘I can assure you that my establishment as you call it, never did and it will never condone such form of language or writing.’

‘Rabid animal.’ Octavia was pale. ‘Fuck this, I’m getting my bow out.’ she reached for her case, but was stopped by Clarke.

‘Put your god damn bow out of this.’ Clarke looked at Lexa with most apologetic eyes.

‘I’m sorry, I can explain. Couple of years ago I submitted my work here, for the annual exhibition that showed works of students from Brooklyn College.’ Lexa just nodded, giving Clarke silent permission to carry on. ‘ I received a mail that said that my work wasn’t good enough for your gallery, that I should forget about being an artist, that my future in this field is painfully filled with disappointments. Simply…it wasn’t just rejection letter.’

‘Pff, that was nothing. How about when she called you opportunistic low life and worker of the night. She called her a whore.’ Octavia still shot poisonous darts towards Lexa.

‘Who wrote it?’ Lexa asked, but she knew. And she was scared to hear the answer, but she needed to hear it.

‘Costia Willows.’ Clarke finally said.

 

Lexa shut her eyes so hard that she started to see abstract yellow shapes, clenching her jaw, gritting her teeth. After she took a deep breath she looked at Clarke who looked like she did something wrong. That pained Lexa and made her angrier by the second.

‘I apologize. From the bottom of my heart. Costia doesn’t work here, well almost two years now. I never heard about you or your work, so I suspect that Costia took it upon herself to decide was your art good or not.’ she took a break, eyeing Clarke, silently begging her to forgive her. Even though she didn’t do anything. ‘And Miss Willows will hear about this.’

‘Please, don’t… Just leave it.’ Clarke begged.

‘I’m sorry, but as someone who is close with her, I am appalled by this. I never believed she was capable of doing something like that.’

‘Oh, both of you can go fuck yourself. I know she is your girlfriend’ Octavia waived. Clarke felt like something cut her in half. She didn’t know this. How Octavia knew?

‘Well, us going and fucking is simply something that will never happen. We are not together anymore.’ Lexa threw her professionalism out the window.

Octavia sat back in her chair, while Clarke didn’t feel as nauseated as she did a second ago.

‘Clarke, I hope we will be able to resume this conversation tomorrow. Alone.’ She looked at Octavia. ‘I want you to think about my offer. It still stands. I think that your work is amazing, and I would love for you to work here.’ she stood up abruptly, rounding the table, standing in front of Clarke, reaching for her hand. Clarke reached back. ‘Please.’ she whispered changing her demeanor in a split second, just for Clarke.

‘I’ll come tomorrow.’ Clarke reassured her gently squeezing Lexa’s hand.

‘Thank you.’ Lexa smiled. ‘Octavia… I won’t lie, it wasn’t pleasure to meet you, but I admire your protectiveness.’

‘ I’m not fucking around Woods. I will still come after you, and I will whoop your ass.’ she shook hands with Lexa. Lexa nodded. Some sick, twisted sense of humor wanted her to see Octavia trying to beat her. Trying being the key word.

‘Thank you for telling me all of this. I will deal with it immediately, that’s why this conversation is cut short. But tomorrow we can talk about anything you want to know.’ she looked at Clarke. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow?’ Lexa asked, she wanted to be sure she will see her again.

‘Yes, I promise.’ Clarke smiled.

Octavia and Clarke were by the door when Lexa called for the blonde.

 

‘And Clarke…If it’s any consolation…. If I saw your work back then, you would be featured as a most promising artist.’

‘Thank you, Lexa. It means a lot.’

 

With that she exited the room, and Lexa stood by her table, shook by the way Clarke said her name, by the way she acted, by the way she felt against her skin. But mostly, she was shook by Costia’s behavior. And Costia would hear about this.


	6. Silver in our lungs

Lexa was a boiling pot of mixed emotions. She couldn’t believe what she heard just an hour ago, about the women that she knew better than herself. Women that she loved and cherished, women who broke her hart into million pieces that were still scattered around, maybe never to be put together again. Costia would never stoop so low. She was like a mentor to her, alongside Nia, she never met more poised, well versed, calm and professional person. What made her lose her footing? What pushed her to say all those things? What made her lie to Lexa about this.?She remembers, like it was yesterday, Costia would ask her everything that was remotely connected to the gallery. Costia respected Lexa and her place in the gallery. But this? This was something she could not fathom.

Cab driver brought her back from her reverie after he repeated for the third time that they arrived. She paid him and thanked him with a smile, got out of the car and looked up. The lights were on. At least she is home. It wasn’t too late, but she didn’t informed Costia about her unplanned visit. She didn’t care honestly. There was a good chance that Roan is there too, but again she didn’t care. She had a blonde girl on her mind, her scrunched face when she told her about rejection mail, saddened eyes that looked at her apologetically. Like she felt sorry for informing Lexa about this. Those eyes should not ever be sad. She got into elevator, pressed the button and asked herself what she should do. Attack Costia straight away. Give her benefit of the doubt. She didn’t know. Doors opened and she stepped out, turning the corner of the hallway, stepping in front of the massive white door. She knocked twice. Like she always did. After couple of seconds, door opened and she saw rugged, but still handsome man standing in the doorway. Roan was here obviously, but that wouldn’t stop her from getting the answers she came for.

‘Lexa…hi’ he greeted her with a small smile. Every time she saw him she was taken aback by his…humbleness. He always made himself somehow smaller when Lexa was present, and why, she couldn’t quite understand. He knew about her and Costia, about the love they shared, time they spent together. He came into Costia’s life after her and Lexa broke up, so he didn’t owe her anything. But still, he backed down, every single time.

‘Hello Roan. I’m sorry I came unannounced, but I really need to speak with Costia. Is she here?’ Lexa returned his smile. She didn’t hate him. She didn’t loved him either. He was simply someone that Costia chose to be with after her.

‘Don’t apologize, you are always welcomed. Come on in, I’ll call her right away.’ He stepped aside, letting Lexa enter spacious apartment.

‘Please, take a seat.’ He motioned to one of the comfy chairs in the living room.

‘Thank you.’ Lexa sat down looking around. Last time she was here, Costia cried and she stood by this same chair, clutching the box full of her stuff. She heard Costia enter the living room, and when she turned to see her, suddenly she saw someone totally different. Her breath didn’t hitched anymore. Costia was still beautiful, but she wouldn’t say that she was most beautiful women she ever saw. Not anymore. Clarke crossed her mind in the split second.

‘Lexa…This is a nice surprise.’ Costia smiled and approached Lexa, giving her small peck on the cheeks. ‘Is everything ok? she frowned, suddenly worried about Lexa.

‘Um…We’ll see.’ Was all Lexa could say. Costia sat across Lexa on the couch. Roan entered the room, eyeing two women.

‘Can I get you anything to drink Lexa?’ he offered.

‘No, thank you. I won’t be long.’ she smiled at him. He knew this was his que to go.

‘Alright then ladies, I’ll leave you to it.’ He exited the room and went into his study. Costia followed him with her gaze, and when he disappeared, she turned around, over to Lexa.

‘So…how can I help you Lex? What’s going on?’ she smiled and Lexa flinched at the nickname.

‘Costia…’ she started looking Costia dead in the eyes. She wanted Costia to know that she won’t be fooled. That she means what she was about to say. And Costia seemed to understand. She received the message loud and clear. ‘I will ask you this once, and once only. I will know if you lie to me, so I beg of you, don’t. ‘ she was calm on the surface, but the storm was raging inside of her.

‘Yes Lexa…you know I won’t.’ Costia assured her and all Lexa could think of was that she already lied to her. Twice. She took a deep breath.

 

‘Who is Clarke Griffin?’ Costia gasped.

 

 

Clarke was walking alongside Octavia in silence. She was mad at her friend for acting out earlier, for attacking Lexa for something that woman obviously knew nothing about. But more so, she was mad at herself. She should have shut Octavia down way earlier. But, she couldn’t. She felt like she left her body the second she laid eyes on the tall brunette. She wasn’t ready to be faced with such beauty and poise. She didn’t expect to be stunned by the deeper melodic voice or by the touch that sent some kind of small electro shocks through her body. But most of all, she couldn’t believe that someone mortal could have such mesmerizing eyes. That green color will be the death of her. She knew she would never be able to create that shade. It was like mixed forest, made of pines and lindens, something that wouldn’t exist except, obviously in her eyes. So bright and big, and soft and inviting. It seemed they could portray all emotions all at once. Every time Lexa looked at her, her heart skipped the beat. She smiled at the thought. She never felt something like that. Not with Finn, not with anyone she ever dated. It was something new for her, how she couldn’t restrain herself or how her body didn’t listen. How her mind floated every time Lexa touched her. And her lips. Well, that was whole another subject. She tried, really gave her best not to look at them. But each time Lexa spoke to Octavia she traced her fingers across her lips in her mind. What would they feel like against hers? Are they really that soft and plump as they seem to be. She wanted to know how they tasted. She blinked and she found herself in her room, standing In the middle of it. Well, she just walked all the way from the gallery, entered her apartment, went into her room not knowing what was she doing. Is this what hypnosis looks like? She sat on the bed, still in some kind of a haze when Octavia walked in.

‘Are you not talking to me right now?’ she leaned on the door frame, crossed her arms in front of her, looking worried. Clarke snapped her head towards her friend.

‘You were way out of line Octavia.’

‘I know…’ she ran her fingers through her long hair . ‘I know. I just…lost it. You were so calm, and I was pissed at them.’

‘But she didn’t do anything.’ Clarke said it again. ‘She didn’t even know.’

‘It’s hard for me to believe in that, but maybe…’

‘Octavia, did you see her? She was pale. You cornered her so hard, poor girl didn’t know what to say.’

‘Clarke, I wasn’t that bad…’

‘Yes you were Octavia.’ Clarke was getting riled up. ‘And not just that, you told her to go fuck herself.’ Octavia flinched. ‘The fuck was that O??’ Clarke stood up. ‘ She is possibly my new boss, and you insulted her like she was nobody.’

‘So…you are going to take her offer?’ Octavia questioned.

‘You damn right I am.’ Clarke nodded.

‘Ok. If you don’t want to fight for yourself, I won’t do it either.’ Octavia threw her hands in the air.

‘I never asked you to!! Certainly not today. Not with her.’ Clarke raised her voice.

Octavia looked at Clarke, long and hard. Gauging the blonde.

‘You like her.’ It wasn’t a question.

‘I don’t know her.’

‘But you like her.’ Octavia repeated. Clarke sighted and sat back down.

‘Something happened to me….I can’t explain it.’

‘I saw.’ Octavia approached the bed and sat next to Clarke.

‘You did?’ Was it that obvious??’ Clarke asked.

‘For me it was.’ She threw her arm around the blonde. ‘I don’t know if she picked up on it.’ Clarke covered her face with her hands and groaned. ‘I think she didn’t.’ Octavia reassured her. ‘ She looked weird too.’

‘What do you mean?’ Clarke turned towards Octavia.

‘Well, she was also out of it.’ Octavia shrugged. ‘It was really awkward for me to stand there.’

‘You are talking bullshit now.’ Clarke chuckled.

‘No, I’m serious… When you two locked eyes, you acted like you were not expecting to see each other. Like both of you thought that you were the last person on the earth, and than BAM. Someone else was there.’ Octavia laughed.

‘Shut up, it wasn’t like that….’ Clarke felt her checks burning.

‘Oh, but it was.’ Clarke shoved Octavia. ‘Listen…I will apologize. If you are going to work there. I will eat my pride for you.’

‘Thank you O…’

‘But..’ Octavia looked Clarke in the eyes. ‘If anything happens to you, if someone says one bad word to you, I’m picking Raven and we will riot.’ It was a promise.

‘Nothing like that will happen. I feel it.’ Octavia kissed Clarke on the forehead and smoothed her hair down.

‘I really hope so…good night princess. Rest, tomorrow you have a job interview.’ she winked.

‘God O, what if she thinks that I’m total weirdo?

‘Oh please…Clarke, you got this.’ With that she exited the room leaving Clarke alone sitting on her bed thinking about Lexa. She really needs to pull her shit together tomorrow, she has to be able to create a coherent sentence in Lexa’s presence, otherwise her talent won’t be enough. Tomorrow could be a new, fresh start. She will be her cool self, smart, funny, interesting. She just have to remember not to look Lexa in the eyes for too long.

‘I’m fucked.’ she whispered and plumped down on her bed.

 

 

Anya woke up in the bed that wasn’t hers, but other than that, everything else was familiar and warm. Small beams of early morning Sun that found their way through blinds illuminated the room she was in. Room was spacious, pictures of constellations and planets were on the wall, work desk in the corner was littered with stack of papers, door next to it slightly open. Big closet on the other side had some pictures taped on, three girls smiling, but she didn’t look at them long enough. Body next to her sighted a deep sleepy breath and with that she settled her gaze on the vision that she didn’t even know she wanted to witness. Until yesterday. Now, this was all she could look at for the rest of her life. Raven was on her side, facing the wall, her back gently brushing Anyas side. She was naked, covered with deep red sheets that wrapped around her body frame. Anyas face was close to brunettes splayed hair on the pillow, sensing lavender shampoo. She started to remember what happened last night and smile ghosted over her lips. It started like a wild hurricane, their lips were sore in no time, clothes were almost ripped, they bumped on hard surfaces of Ravens apartment, hands roaming all over. But, after some time it slowed down. They found themselves in this cycle of worshiping one another in the most gentle way they knew, and she know that she enjoyed it immensely. She had to wait for Raven to wake up to see how she feels about all of this. She didn’t even know. They are colleagues. They work together, closely. This could mess them up, but everything in her head stopped when Raven turned on her back. Thin sheet was pulled down and now she was on a display for Anyas widened eyes. Fuck it, I’ll quit my job. She glanced at the clock on the nightstand, it was almost eight. She had a planned day today, but she couldn’t get herself to leave Raven. Gently, trying not to wake sleeping girl up, she got of the bed, and found her underwear. Slipping them on she saw Ravens brace lying next to the bed. She remembered how Raven got super uncomfortable when she had to take it off in front of Anya. Blonde sensed that and whispered in Ravens ear ‘ _I don’t mind it. It makes you look more badass if it’s possible._ ’ Raven just smiled at that, like her worries were swept away by Anyas words. She took it of eventually. Finding her bra too, she put it on and walked to the bathroom. She was stopped by Ravens voice.

‘If you are going to sneak out, at least dress yourself fully. Otherwise, that walk of shame would be much more obvious.’ Anya turned around and was struck by the image of Ravens sleepy face, eyes still semi closed, voice raspy and her hair wild but so beautiful. Like she would ever walk away from this girl.

‘I wasn’t planning on running away.’ Anya said. Raven tilted her head.

‘You weren’t?’

‘No…I had to use the bathroom. And I wanted to try to somehow brush my teeth so when I woke you up, you wouldn’t regret everything.’ she smirked.

‘I wouldn’t regret it.’ Raven whispered. Anya came back and sat on the bed facing Raven.

‘Then what makes you think I would?’ she asked. Raven didn’t know what to say, how to respond. She dug this hole for Anya and instead she fell into it head first.

‘I’ll make some coffee. I have a spear toothbrush in the drawer under the sink. Use it.’ she playfully slapped Anya’s arm. ‘You need it.’

Anya just smiled because she knows she backed Raven into the corner with her question, so brunette was looking for a way out. And she will give it to her. This time. When she was done with the bathroom, she entered, now empty room. Raven’s brace was missing, and she found her suit on the bed. Raven spared her the time of finding her scattered clothes. She pulled up her pants, slip her shoes on and when she went for her shirt, she couldn’t find it. She picked up her suspenders and her jacket and went to the living room.

‘Raven, did you find my ….shirt?’ she halted in her steps, her hands dropping whatever she had in them. Her mouth slight agape. Raven stood in the kitchen, her hair in the ponytail, dressed in Anyas white shirt, holding a cup of coffee. That ponytail was nothing, she could survive it. And those unclasped buttons of her shirt revealing just enough for the imagination to go wild. Psshhht, that was nothing. What slayed her, cut her brain in half was the rest of Ravens morning outfit. She wore her stockings again, with those black stilettos putting the final nail in Anyas coffin.

‘You said something?’ Raven smirked behind the mug, tilting her head again, and Anya found her kryptonite. Every time Raven did that tilt, she was a goner.

‘I…I just…’ Anya stuttered still unable to peal her eyes from Ravens body.

‘Did you had a stroke or something?’ Raven leaned on the counter, amused to no end with Anyas reaction.

‘I might…’ Anya finally looked Raven in the eyes.

‘I can see that.’ But what Raven tried to hide was reaction from her body when she saw Anya. Her, in bra, her fitted pants, shoes, her flat, slightly muscled stomach, arms with veins popping in all the right places, dirty blonde hair free falling. Fuck, will I ever succeed to outdone her. But Raven didn’t really care about that. She would be fine with the fact that Anya could shut her down like she did since yesterday.

‘What are you trying to do to me?’ Anya was in front of Raven in two long strides, picking her up and setting her on the counter, Ravens legs around her waist. Their faces just inches apart.

‘I made you a coffee.’ Raven tried to derail Anya.

‘Fuck the coffee.’

‘Really?’

‘No… I wanna fuck you.’ Anya kissed Raven hard and the kiss was full of hunger, gently biting her lower lip. Raven pulled Anya impossibly closer with her legs, her hands roaming around Anyas torso, somehow always ending on her stomach. As she unbuttoned Anyas pants, phone started to ring.

‘For fuck’s sake…’

‘Motherfucker….’

 

They both stopped what they were doing and Anya pulled out her screaming phone out.

‘What? she spat. Raven stood still, neither of them trying to brake from this death lock they created.

‘I know. I KNOW. Now is really not the good time…’ Anya spoke while looking at Raven who had a little mischievous smile on her face. She continued what she was doing before they were interrupted. She leaned and kissed Anya at the base of her neck, trailing small kisses up to her jaw and back down again, while she unzipped Anya’s pants fully. As she tried to slip her hand into Anyas underwear, she was stopped by the tight grip on her wrist. She looked at Anya seemingly confused why she was stopped.

‘It’s my sister.’ Anya mouthed. Raven understood. She stopped, but she never retrieved her hand.

‘I will pick you up, as we planned, now please, I have to go.’ Anya almost whined into the phone. Just for the fun, Raven started to unbutton the rest of the shirt she wore with her free hand, seeing that Anya followed her action without blinking. When she finished, she took the hem of the left side and pulled it slowly just to reveal a beginning of her nipple.

‘I will hang up now. See ya latter.’ Anya hung up on her sister, her eyes darkened, pupils blown so much, that the brown iris was almost invisible.

‘Oh, you will pay for this.’ Anya growled.

‘How?’ Raven put her free hand around Anyas neck, still not moving the one that was ghosting over Anyas clit.

‘I will revoke this sex offer that was on the table’ Anya tried to play stern. Raven then touched Anyas clit, so fast, and so lightly, but it shook Anya to the core.

‘But will you tho? Raven smirked.

‘Ravenn…I have to go….My parents are coming to town, I have to go home and shower and get ready.’ Anya growled.

‘I don’t know if you saw, when you were in the bathroom, but I have a fully functioning shower.’ Raven kissed Anyas jaw again. ‘And you look dapper enough in that suit to meet your parents.’ She looked Anya in the eyes. ‘So give me one good reason why you have to leave now? As if my hand in your panties wasn’t good enough reason to stay.’ She cocked one brow.

‘You were enough reason to stay. Everything else is just a bonus.’ Anya replied honestly.

‘Then I suggest you take this shirt off of me, if you want it to be part of your outfit later today.’

 

Lexa looked at her phone confused enough. Anya was acting strange, she never shut her down like this, mid sentence. She will ask her what was that about later when she picks her up to go and get their parents from the airport. She put the phone down and walked over to her record player, putting the record on. Slow melody started, beautiful voice of Dana Williams filling her ears. That was one of her favorite songs ; Keep me waiting. Taking her mug, she patted Artigas who sat on the counter, no matter how many times she told him not to. _He is a cat. He owns me_. Sitting on the balcony she could feel how tired she still was. To be honest, she didn’t even know how she slept for those three hours. Conversation that she had with Costia shook her to her core, and revelations that were made had her deeply wounded. She still tried to calm herself down from their, at the end, not so pleasant talk. For the good part, if there was any, Costia told her everything. She prepared herself to hear every single thing, other than that one that Costia told her. Costia was in love with Clarke Griffin. While she was with Lexa. From this perspective, she could even try to understand why. Clarke is beautiful. She is wildly talented. Kind. She couldn’t say anything more than that, because she didn’t knew the girl at all. But, Lexa knew there is more to Clarke. So, she tried to rationalize Costias infatuation with the girl. But, Costias rejection mail was still something Lexa racked her brain around. Why would she act like an immature teenage girl, literally pulling Mean Girls material just to hurt Clarke. If what Costia told her is the truth, Clarke never knew about Costias emotions towards her. She saw her then just as a professor. Who’s to say what would have happened if Costia told Clarke how she felt. Would Clarke reciprocate? Lexa shuddered at the thought. What pained Lexa more is that she remembers that part of their relationship vividly. It was on shaky legs, Lexa had to travel a lot more, and that was why she never saw that mail, she never saw Clarkes submission. She was in London at the time. She remembers when she came back, Costia was noticeably different. While she was in London, Costia cheated on her for the first time. She cringed at the thought. She never fully recovered from that breach of trust and commitment. In the past two years she tried to start something new with someone else, but it always ended as a five night stand rule like Anya liked to call it. She would always ask herself one question every time things started to get serious with someone. ‘If you already gave everything you got once, and it failed, what makes you think this won’t fail too? Anya on the other hand told her that she had a different problem. She never believed that she was enough. Just that – enough. But on top of all of this reflection that she found herself in, she had to sit with Clarke today, tell her everything, and hope, really hope, that Clarke won’t find this situation awkward in any way. But could she blame her if she did? It  was fucked up situation after all. She shook her head and got up, took a shower and dressed. On the way out she petted Artigas again.

‘Gas…pray for me today, for mamma doesn’t know what to do if this pretty girl turns us down.’ He looked at her with the most bored expression cat could portray.

‘Oh , the fuck you know, you are just a cat.’ With that she exited her apartment.

 

Lexa was in the gallery around nine o’clock. It was almost eleven now and she really started to panic a little, not knowing if Clarke would show up. Maybe she got home yesterday and realized that she really didn’t want to be associated with this gallery again. Maybe she thought that Lexa was trying to lure her in just to bash her again. She never specified at what time Clarke should come, and she hated herself for that immensely. Anya will come to pick her up in an hour, and she wont come back to the gallery until tomorrow,maybe.

‘Fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck…’ she repeated like a mantra while she paced around her office nervously. She heard a soft knock on the door and she hopped.

‘Come in.’ she tried to use her cool voice, like nothing is bothering her. When Clarke walks in, she will meet new Lexa. Not the one that she met yesterday. No,no. This one was professional, serious. Not a damn dork that had sweaty palms. But, her face fell when she saw Ontari enter her office.

‘Hello Lexa’ Ontari was way to happy and snappy for Lexas liking this morning. Ontari saw the way Lexas face changed when she saw her, but she wouldn’t let that change her mind.

‘Hi Ontari…What is it?’ Lexa spat.

‘I just wanted to remind you that Anya will be here in about twenty minutes.’

‘Yes, I know that.’

‘Soo, there was this girl that waited for you downstairs, she said she had an interview with you, but since you never said anything about that, plus you will be leaving soon, I told her that you are busy, and that she could call tomorrow.’

Lexa was a pacifist. She never hated anyone in her life. Let alone wanting to kill someone cold heartedly. But at this moment, she was sure she won’t meet her parents today. Anya won’t pick her up. Police will. Because she will slice Ontari’s head, detach it from the rest of her body in one clean swift motion.

‘You what?’ Lexa whispered because she was sure that alternative was a scream that would ice Ontari’s blood in her veins.

‘I…I told her…’ Ontari never saw Lexa like this and she was scared, to say at least.

‘I heard you, the first fucking time Ontari’ Lexa approached her slowly. ‘I am just trying to understand, when and why your little brain figured out that something like this is acceptable?’

‘Ok, please, just calm down…I think she is still downstairs, she talked to Luna when I got here,I…’ she never managed to finish that sentence because Lexa almost flew by her and descended downstairs looking around franticly.

‘Hey boss, you ok?’ Gustus asked seeing Lexa searching for something.

‘Where is Luna?’

‘I’m here.’ Luna emerged from the next room. ‘Is there something wrong?’

‘Where is Clarke?’ Lexa asked .

‘The blonde girl?’ Luna took a guess and Lexa nodded. ‘She just left…why?’ Luna didn’t received an answer. Lexa ran after Clarke, not knowing what route she took, hoping that she chose the right one. And she saw her, just a block down the street. Still running, she caught up with her, tapping her shoulder lightly. Clarke turned around abruptly, almost scared. When she saw Lexa she took her earphones out and smiled. Lexa was winded, like she didn’t run at all in her life. She knew it wasn’t from the running, it was because of Clarke. She smiled back.

‘Lexa…Hi…’

‘Clarke, I’m sorry you waited at all, this girl that works with me is little mentally challenged…I didn’t tell her that you would come, and she took it upon herself to let you go, and I will deal with her, maybe fire her, probably fire her…’ Lexa was panting and blabbering not knowing what else to do.

‘Lex…calm down.’ Clarke giggled. ‘Breathe.’

‘Ok…’ Lexa smiled.

‘Now, there is no need to fire her, she was really sweet. I understand if you were busy, I’ll come some other time.’

‘But that’s the point, I wasn’t busy, I waited for you, I came today just because of you.’ Lexa tried to explain Clarke that she really wanted to talk to her today. ‘And now it’s too late, because I have to go pick up my parents from the airport, and we won’t talk, and I really wanted to…’

‘Lexa.’ Clarke rested her hand on Lexa’s shoulder trying to calm the girl down. ‘It’s ok, really.’ she smiled.

‘But it’s not…’

‘I can come tomorrow. Is that ok for you?’ she tried to look Lexa in the eyes, but Lexa dropped her head down.

‘That’s the thing, I don’t know when I will be at the gallery again, what my life will look like in the next couple of days.’

‘Ok, then some other time…’ Clarke concluded somewhat disappointed that she won’t be able to talk to Lexa about her possible job. Or talk to Lexa in general. Or see her. Or just - Lexa.

‘Will you go on a dinner with me today?’ Lexa said snapping her head up again. ‘Um…’

‘I know a good place that will provide us a table secluded enough for us to speak about everything.’ Lexa looked at her with most sincere pleading look she ever saw, and well, the color didn’t help either.

‘Yeah, sure.’ She nodded and smiled, sending Lexa’s heart soaring.

‘Yeah? Great.’ Lexa had a toothy grin across her face and Clarke was lost.

‘So…when and where?’

‘Can you give me your address, I’ll pick you up around eight? Is that ok?’

‘Yeah, that’s perfect.’ Clarke told Lexa her address and Lexa smiled. They were practically neighbors.

‘Ok, so…I’ll see you tonight?’ Lexa felt extremely awkward. Did she just asked Clarke on a date?

‘Yeah…You will.’ Clarke nodded.

‘Nice…so…bye Clarke.’ She waived awkwardly.

‘Bye Lexa.’ Lexa felt giddy and happy, suddenly Sun was shining a little bit more. She wasn’t aware of it, but if someone saw her, they would think how sweet it is that a grown ass woman skipped in her steps.

 

 

Clarke entered her apartment, still smiling when she heard the music stop. Octavia emerged from her room, violin in one and bow in other hand.

‘Well…that was fast.’ She offered with slight worried face.

‘We didn’t talk. Some miscommunication happened, she didn’t knew I was already there, and by the time she did, she had to go.’ Clarke said, while taking her vans off, leaving her bag on the table.

‘Oh, how convenient.’ Octavia spat. ‘Clarke, I don’t like her, I don’t like her one bit.’

‘I got the memo.’

‘I’m serious Clarke…she treated you like she was some fucking CEO, too busy for anyone who is not on her level.’

‘Did you hear anything that I just said to you?’

‘Yes, and I heard that her snooty little ass didn’t make time for you.’

‘She is taking me to dinner tonight.’ Clarke offered like it was nothing, walking to her room. Octavia was on her heels in a second.

‘Wait, what?’

‘She felt bad enough that she didn’t get to speak to me, so she wants to take me to diner. So we can speak. Simple enough.’ Clarke sat on her bed.

‘Oh, how typical…’ Octavia looked like she cracked some kind of code.

‘What is O?’ the blonde was starting to get tired with this conversation.

‘She wants to buy your time and absolution. I officially hate her Clarke.’

‘Ok, enough with this. What the hell is wrong with you? If she was any other girl on this planet, you would be jumping around, screaming that I have a date, but with her, everything has to have some ulterior motive. ‘

‘Because I’m sure it does.’

‘Well I’m not.’ Clarke stood up. ‘Octavia, you have to stop with this. That girl was nothing but pleasant and apologetic towards me.’

‘I don’t buy it.’

‘Well, you don’t have to. She isn’t selling anything to you.’

‘You’re going to regret this Clarke…’

‘I’m done with this conversation O.’

‘But…’

‘Done.’

 

 

 

Lexa saw Anya’s car approaching and she smiled and waved, and Anya honked the horn in greeting. She got into the car, throwing her bag on the back seat, and when she turned to look at Anya she frowned.

‘What are you wearing?’ Lexa asked.

‘Clothes.’ Anya was seemingly concentrated on the road.

‘No shit smart ass.’ Lexa rolled her eyes. ‘ Why do you look like we are going to have a job interview, and not to see our parents?’

‘Maybe I have much more respect for them than you.’ She motioned to Lexas outfit. Lexa had a hurt expression on her face.

‘What’s wrong with the shirt and jeans…?’ she looked like a hit puppy.

‘Oh my god, there is nothing wrong with it. Can we just drop the clothes topic?’

‘Ok…Why did you hung up on me this morning?’

‘I was busy.’

‘With?’

‘Stuff….stop interrogating me Lexa, get of my back.’ Anya was annoyed but Lexa was smirking now.

‘Anya…I call bullshit.’

‘Don’t you dare Le…’

‘The truth.’ They had this little rule since they were 10 and 14. If any of them sense that other one isn’t telling the truth, they could call it. And demand the truth. The other one had to comply, because, that was the rule. This stayed with them till this day, because every time they said the truth to one another, it stayed with them. They weren’t snitches. God knows how many times they tricked their parents with this. Anya would sneak out at night to meet with her girlfriend, and Lexa had to know the truth. But if it comes to it, and on one occasion it did, she had to lie for her sister. Anya huffed and absentmindedly unbuttoned the top button of her shirt.

‘I slept with someone last night. And I stayed. So when you called me, I was in rather interesting situation.’

‘Oh my god…’ Lexa scrunched her face. ‘You had sex and talked to me at the same time, what kind of animal are you Anya?’

‘I didn’t had sex per say at that exact time, but things started to heat up. So I had to hung up.’ Lexa tried to look disgusted, but eventually smiled.

‘So…tell me everything.’ As soon as she said that, she tried to correct herself. ‘Maybe not everything, but you know.’

‘Yeah,yeah…the thing is, I don’t know if I should.’

‘What do you mean, I’m your sister.’

‘We haven’t spoke about this, so I don’t know should I spill.’

‘Oh come on, it’s me…you know I won’t tell a soul.’ Lexa singed. ‘Talk Anya talk. Talk Anya talk.’ she chanted.

‘Ok, just shut up.’

 

They arrived at the JFK airport and parked the car, still having at least half an hour before their parents arrival. They got into the building and headed towards a café, both of them in desperate need of caffeine. With their cups, they strode towards arrival gate where their parents should emerge any minute now.

‘So…’ Lexa started. ‘You like her?’ Anya could choose not to answer, or to answer with something generic, like cussing at her sister. But she felt that Raven deserved an honest answer.

‘I…I think so.’ She sipped her coffee.

‘And, what’s the next move?’

‘I honestly don’t know. I mean, we work together, so we will see each other again.’

‘You dumb fuck, call her again, on another date.’

‘I will. I will…just. I will.’ Anya scooped her hair into a pony tail. ‘I just want at least to try to do this right.’

‘Well, you fucked, so that is out the way.’ Lexa playfully slapped Anya.

‘Shut up, it’s not like that.’

‘Oh god…you are whipped. You really like her.’

‘Fuck you, I’m not whipped. But yeah, I like her.’ Anya concluded.

‘Just be Anya that I know. You can be an asshole, but I’m sure she’ll like you just as much.’

‘Geez, thank you.’

 

Lexa thought about telling Anya about Clarke. But what she would say? _I maybe like this girl that has every right to hate me, and Oh by the way, my ex that you hate so much was in love with this same Clarke, but she never told her that, and because she was in love with someone that didn’t saw her as a potential love interest, she found console in someone else’s bed._ No, she will keep her mouth shut for the time being.

‘Here they are.’ Anya got up and waived to her parents.

‘Just please, don’t call them Indra and Marcus.’ Lexa was standing next Anya, big smile on her face. It was so good seeing them again.


	7. Say my name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up, and I don't know what the fuck happened. It's Clexa filled and their dynamic opened my mind so much more, where their story can go. I'm dumbfounded. 
> 
> I hope you like it :)

After picking up their parents from the airport, Lexa and Anya took them to Polis, since both Indra and Marcus wanted to see Lincoln as well. Ride to the restaurant was filled with small chat, about their flight, health, how much Indra started to hate L.A. They wanted to sit down and relax first, before heavy talk can ensue. After parking the car, Anya got out and smiled upon seeing where she parked it. She parked on the same spot as yesterday, when her and Raven had their…diner/date/whatever it was. _I really need to talk to her_.

‘Ok people, we are here. Linc is going to be so surprised when he sees you, we haven’t told him you were coming.’ Lexa smiled and bounced playfully on her feet.

‘I can’t wait to see him…Look at this, this is marvelous.’ Marcus had a wide, proud, almost father like grin on his face while motioning to the entrance of the restaurant. In bold silver letters on the brick wall stood Polis, written on a black plaque.

‘Yeah, it is something.’ Indra commented, always stern like, serious some would think, never the one to say too much, or show too much. But everyone knew that she felt proud too. She loved Lincoln almost as much as her daughters. They entered the restaurant and were greeted by the maître d’ of Polis, Nyliah. She recognized two girls and welcomed them with a wide and sincere smile. They were seated by the window, and Marcus couldn’t take his childlike smile off of his face, looking around in awe, while Indra was much more civil in her assessment process.

‘Do you like it?’ Anya questioned, even though she knew that her parents loved this place already.

‘It’s just….I’m in awe.’ Marcus produced.

‘We can see that honey. Whole restaurant can, you look like you’ve never been in one.’ Indra chuckled and patted her husband’s arm.

‘Well, with you, it’s almost the truth. You never want to go out.’ He looked at Lexa and Anya and whispered conspiratory ‘I think she is becoming agoraphobic.’

‘Oh hush you’ Indra slapped his shoulder. They all laughed at her. Lexa felt familiar tug in her chest. She missed them so much.

‘Marc, aunt Indra!!!’ a loud shout rippled throughout the restaurant and Lincoln approached them, hugging Indra tightly, picking her up from the floor.

‘Put me down child, now.’ She reprimanded Lincoln, but still had a big smile on her face. ‘You look handsome as always, my boy.’ she caressed his cheek with her hand, Lincoln grinning at her, but that grin was slapped down quickly . Not too hard, but still, it was a slap. ‘You could call sometimes.’

‘Oh Indra, leave him alone.’ It was Marcuse’s turn to hug Lincoln, loudly patting his back. He pushed Lincoln at arm length, squeezing his biceps. ‘You look good. I see you’ve been working out.’

‘Thank you Marc…Well I had too. Time when Anya and even Lexa could whoop my ass is behind me.’ He smiled proudly.

‘You wish.’ Anya and Lexa quipped in unison.

Thay sat down, Marcus gushing over Lincolns promotion.

‘So, what brings you here?’ Lincoln asked.

‘Yeah mom, you never told me exactly why you had to come to New York…Not that I’m complaining.’ Lexa smiled and kissed Indra on the cheek.

‘Kiss ass…’ Anya whispered only for Lexa to hear. Lexa kicked Anya under the table in return.

‘Stop it. You are grown women now. ‘ Indra reprimanded them quickly and they obliged. Even though they were grown ass women as Indra said, one stern look from the women, and they were back to that time when they were kids.

‘Well, I have a conference in the New Jersey hospital, and your mother wanted to come with me.’ Marcus said.

 

‘Luckily, I received an offer in the meantime, to hold a master class, so I will be doing something too, not just chaperoning your father .’

‘That is awesome.’ Lexa said. ‘I’m so happy to see you, I’ve missed you so much.’

‘And we missed you two like crazy. I don’t know what is it, maybe I’m getting old, but I caught myself even missing Anya’s sassy mouth.’ Marcus smiled and winked to Anya who rolled her eyes.

‘Whatever Marcus…’ Anya said, but a hint of a smile appeared.

‘Aaand here it is!’ he exclaimed and everybody laughed. Even Anya. She wouldn’t say it so easily, but she missed her parents too.

They sat there, catching up, laughing, bickering( mostly Anya and Lexa), but at the end they just enjoyed each other’s company, after almost 5 months of not seeing each other. Lexa was ecstatic, to see her parents again, but she couldn’t shake this thought that she will see Clarke tonight. She had to leave, in order to get to Clarke in time, checking with everybody if that’s ok, and if Anya can drive them to their friend’s house. Marcus had the conference tomorrow, and Indra had her Master class the day after, so she would have whole day to catch up first with her mother, than with her father. They all got up, end got out, Marcus and Indra talking with Lincoln, when Lexa whispered to Anya.

‘Thank you for this, I’ll owe you.’

‘Yes, you will.’ Anya smirked.

‘Ok guys, I have to run, but mom, I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?’ she hugged Marcus then Indra.

‘Yes baby girl, we’ll catch up tomorrow, have a little walk. I missed this city too. I’m sick of Los Angeles.’ she grunted.

‘Then move here.’ Lexa offered absentmindedly, and Indra and Marcus shared a quick, but knowing look. Anya caught it.

‘Ok, let’s get rolling, Jersey is not close.’ Anya said and waived to Lincoln. ‘I’m still gonna kill you.’

‘Yeah, yeah, what’s new…’ he waived back.

Lexa hailed a cab and disappeared around the corner, while everybody else got into Anyas car.

‘So, who are these people that you are staying at? Anya looked at Marcus.

‘She is my good, old friend, and her husband is most delightful guy on the planet. The Griffins. You’ll like them.’

 

 

Lexa counted the minutes ‘till her arrival, and she knew even now that she’ll be late, but she hoped that Clarke wouldn’t see that as disrespect in any form. She will explain herself, but she couldn’t feel at ease until she saw the girl. Lexa fidgeted nervously on the back seat, craning her neck left and right, to see what’s causing them to stand still for over 5 minutes. Of course she forgot, again to take Clarke’s phone number. She hated herself for being so forgetful around this girl. She exhaled loudly, and the cab driver caught her exasperation.

‘I’m sorry miss, I don’t know what’s happening.’ He looked at her in the rearview mirror apologetically.

‘It’s ok…It’s not your fault.’ she reassured the driver. ‘I’m just running late, and I’m not happy about it.’

‘Well, whoever is waiting for you, I’m sure they will wait a little longer.’ he smiled lightly. ‘ I know I would.’ Lexa smiled back, she could easily think that this was some weak attempt of flirting, she was used to it. But this cab driver was a sweet older man, wearing a worn out wedding ring.

‘Thank you…’ she smiled again. ‘I hope you are right.’

At that point they started moving again, and Lexa felt like she started to breathe normally again. After couple of minutes, cab turned the corner and she could see Clarke sitting on the steps of her building, seemingly sketching something. She smiled absentmindedly at the site.

‘You see, she waited.’ driver gestured with his head in Clarkes direction.

‘She did…’ Lexa nodded.

After paying the man, she got out of the car, Clarke still occupied with her sketch book. She looked up when she heard the car driving away, seeing Lexa approaching her, culpability written all over her face. She smiled, that’s all she could do.

‘I’m so so so sorry Clarke, I got caught up with my parents, and then the traffic was terrible, and now I’m…’ she checked her watch ’15 minutes late, OH MY GOD.’ She was wide eyed, mouth agape. Clarke laughed a throaty laugh, and got up to her feet, tucking her sketch book in her bag. ‘I really am sorry, I am usually always on time, I just…’

‘Hi Lexa.’ Clarke cut her off with a big smile and stretched out hand. Lexa halted with her blabbering. She just looked at Clarke, in some kind of a daze, she made her feel good, light, just with one little motion, one little smile. ‘You don’t want to shake my hand?’ Clarke narrowed her eyes, a hint of smirk dancing on her lips.

‘No…I mean, yes, off course I do…’ she stumbled towards Clarke, taking her hand in her own, instant warmth spreading through her at the touch. ‘Hi Clarke’ she finally succeeded to mutter.

‘I’m not mad you are late, I understand.’ Clarke said while her hand gripped Lexa’s. ‘Don’t feel bad.’

‘Thank you, but my record with you is not a good one…There is always something that makes me look bad…at least.’ Lexa smiled and shrugged.

‘Nonsense.’ Clarke said looking Lexa in the eyes. Lexa felt like someone nailed her to the ground, she couldn’t move.

‘I…I bet Octavia would disagree with you.’

‘Well, I’m not Octavia, so…who cares.’ Clarke smiled and felt slightly guilty that Lexa obviously could feel how hostile Octavia is. Lexa doesn’t deserve it, she is becoming one of the sweetest persons Clarke had a pleasure to meet.

‘Yeah, well… I do.’ Lexa shrugged. ‘Shall we? We could walk, the place I had in mind is not too far from here.’ she motioned to Clarke to follow her.

‘Why do you?’ Clarke asked. When Lexa turned to her with scrunched up nose, Clarke felt giddy. ‘Why do you care what Octavia thinks of you?’ she explained further.

‘My brother. He finds Octavia mesmerizing, although I can’t see why…’ she said the last part almost inaudible. Clarke heard her, and chuckled.

‘Your brother?’ Clarke prodded.

‘Yes…well, he is not my brother, but I feel so close to him, that I feel like he is one.’ Lexa explained. ‘Week or so ago, I was in his restaurant, and she was there. It was some kind of an engagement party of some sort, and she screamed so loud, I remember my ears buzzed.’ she chuckled at the memory. Clarke suddenly stopped in her tracks looking at Lexa. ‘Clarke…?’

‘Lincoln is your brother?’

‘Yeah…how did you know? She told you about him? So she found him somewhat worthy mentioning.’ Lexa smiled. ‘I’ll be sure to tell him that. He will be ecstatic.’

‘No…I was there. I sat next to her.’ Clarke said.

‘Wait, what?’ Lexa asked. ‘How come I never saw you? I remember when I walked out of the restaurant, I saw her, and the two guys…’

‘I was trying to fetch her god damn fork, I was almost crawling.’ Clarke laughed now loudly. ‘ Oh my god, did you wore some maroon dress, something like that, with black heels?’

‘YES’ Lexa exclaimed. They laughed now at how that little situation played out, but none of them said what they were thinking. Lexa knew now that the scent she felt that night was indeed Clarke’s, that the girl was there at the time. And Clarke remembered long legs that looked so sexy. She couldn’t stop herself, lowering her gaze quickly, looking at Lexas legs, now clad in jeans, but still so long and sculpted. _God damn_.

‘Why were you there?’ Clarke asked abruptly. ‘At the restaurant?’ As soon as she asked, she realized how rude it was, and that it was not her business to know why Lexa was there.

‘Um… I was on a date.’ Lexa answered awkwardly. Clarke felt like shit, all of a sudden.

‘Oh…’ is all Clarke could produce. Why she felt like this, she couldn’t wrap her head around it?

‘But, Octavia kind of ended it.’ Lexa smirked. ‘ That girl is just out there to make my life more miserable.’

‘What do you mean, she ended it? Clarke was all ears now. To hell with being polite, she needed to know.

‘Well, when she screamed, we found out that her brother is getting married…’ Lexa stopped, suddenly realizing that Clarke could be the bride. She felt nauseated, lightheaded even. ‘Congratulations are in order I presume?’ she offered fearfully.

‘Thanks I guess.’ Clarke answered and Lexa felt her blood being drained from her face. What the hell is happening to me. ‘I love Bellamy like he is my brother too, so yeah, thanks.’ Lexa felt confused, her mind working so hard to understand what this means. Clarke put a stop to her misery. ‘He and John have been together for so long, I love them both. They are lucky they found each other.’ Clarke said halfheartedly, she still couldn’t bring herself from that shitty place she fell in minutes ago. And Lexa had the biggest grin on her face.

‘That is so nice.’ she said, feeling like hundred pounds have been lifted from her back.

‘I still don’t understand how Octavia ended your date…’ Clark just had to know.

‘Oh, yes…so, when Octavia screamed what she did, we started to talk about marriage and that stuff… Our points of view were way of, and I felt like it would be really wrong of me to continue with it, knowing that such a big thing was standing in the way.’ Lexa explained, and Clarke nodded, now finding herself even more sucked in the loophole of being too noisy, but she had to know, what was Lexa’s stance on marriage. _Why do I even care_?

‘I mean, it is stupid, it was our first date after all, but just the way that she explicitly almost, shunt all my ideas about it…it’s just…it didn’t sit with me very well. ‘ Lexa continued, not giving Clarke the final answer.

‘So, marriage or no marriage for you?’ she blurted out.

‘Um, I am fond of an idea of marriage, someday, if I ever find someone that I feel like I want to spend my life with them…’ Lexa concluded. Clarke was fist pumping mentally at the answer.

‘And you?’ Lexa asked.

‘Same.’

‘Cool.’

Clarke smiled at Lexa. Who on earth still used cool as an answer? Lexa did. And that was perfectly fine with Clarke. It was dorky. It was sweet. It was cool. Lexa was cool. They walked in silence for couple of minutes when Lexa showed where they were heading.

‘Here it is.’ she smiled. _Doctor/s_ sign was hanging above the door.

‘I’ve lived in this neighborhood for years now, and I’ve never been here.’ Clarke entered first, Lexa holding the door for her all chivalrously.

‘Shame, this place is amazing.’ Lexa commented. They entered and Clarke took her surroundings in. Place was fairly small, maybe up to eight tables that could sit four people at max, walls white with weird art that resembled…hospital? She could see that the shakers on the tables, that were white, were actually pill bottles labeled with corresponding seasoning. Chairs were a lot similar to ones that you could find in waiting rooms. And the guy behind the counter wore a god damn white lab coat.

‘Nyko’ Lexa called him, and he turned around, smiling instantly when he recognized her.

‘Lexilium.’ He called back, coming in front of the counter, hugging Lexa tightly. Clarke stood there, smiling at the nickname. Is this place even real? What would her nickname be? Clarksax? She smiled even harder.

‘I haven’t see you in a while, where you’ve been? I hope you didn’t find some other burger joint??’ he enquired seemingly offended. Lexa smiled and shook her head.

‘Of course not, Nyko. I would never.’ she patted his shoulder reassuringly. ‘I was just caught up in gallery, I’m there almost all day, every day.’

‘Yeah, Lincoln told me. How is it coming along?’

‘Good…it’s draining me, but it’s a good step, so I’m enduring all of it somehow.’ Lexa shrugged.

‘I’m glad. You deserve it.’

‘Thank you…’ Lexa realized that Clarke was standing behind her all the time, and she felt like shit she haven’t introduced her to Nyko. ‘Clarke, this is Nyko, he makes best burgers in town, I guarantee it.’ She smiled at Nyko. ‘And this is future, hopefully, featured artist in my renewed gallery, Clarke Griffin.’ Lexa motioned towards Clarke, and the blond felt giddy all over again.

‘Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you Clarke. Maybe you can paint something for this place, so I can gush over your work, when you become big shot in the near future.’ Nyko smoothly complimented Clarke and she felt her cheeks getting redder by the second.

‘Oh, you are to kind. Both of you. But I would like to paint you something. I am familiar with the subject.’ she said. ‘I have one question tho…’

‘Shoot.’ Nyko laughed.

‘What’s with all the doctor stuff?’

‘Aahh, yes…’ Nyko leaned in, like he was about to reveal some big secret. Lexa stood behind Clarke now, mouthing the answer along with Nyko ‘ That’s because my food can heal.’

‘Oh, I get it.’ Clarke laughed and winked at Nyko.

‘Is my table free, we are kind of having a business meeting right now.’ Lexa asked.

‘Why yes Commander, your table awaits.’ Nyko bowed down, and pointed with his hand towards the table that was secluded enough for them to have uninterrupted conversation. Clarke felt amused with yet another nickname Nyko had for Lexa, but what amused her more was Lexa’s reaction to it. Her cheeks were red.

‘Commander?’ Clarke asked with a raised brow, smirking at Lexa.

‘It's nothing,…it’s stupid.’ Lexa shifted her weight from one leg to another, stuttering with her answer. Nyko just laughed and shook his head. ‘Let’s sit.’ she said and almost bolted towards the table, trying to regain her coolness back somehow. Clarke dropped the subject, for now. She liked the place, and she liked Nyko. He had an aura of a good guy, and he didn’t shy away from the prospect of pushing Lexas buttons. Clarke approached the table, where Lexa already sat, seemingly calm. Lexa on the other hand still had to regain her composure, but with the blonde in her near proximity, it was easier said than done. Clarke sat down, opposite from Lexa and smiled.

‘So…what’s good here?’

‘Everything.’ Lexa answered honestly. ‘But, If I may suggest, for your first time here, you need to try Hearty Popper. It’s my favorite.’

‘Hearty Popper? Clarke asked amused. ‘Yeah…he puts some kind of pumpkin seasoning in it…’ Clarke scrunched her nose in disgust. ‘I know how it sounds, but for some unexplainable reason it tastes amazing.’ Lexa reassured Clarke.

‘Still…what’s with a name?’

‘Oh…well, I told him one day that it tastes like something that Harry Potter would eat in Hogwarts.’ Lexa answered sheepishly. ‘So he named it like that…cause it almost sounds like Harry Potter.’ Lexa finished, her cheeks getting redder each second Clarke laughed harder and harder.

‘Oh my God…’ Clarke wheezed. ‘That’s amazing.’

‘I don’t see why is that so funny?’ Lexa retorted almost insulted. That made Clarke laugh even harder.

‘I’m sorry…’ Clarke wiped a tear that managed to escape her eye. ‘It’s not funny. It’s not.’ she tried to calm herself. But to no avail. She started laughing again.

‘Still, you can not seem to stop getting some abs how hard you’re laughing.’ Lexa said with a smirk. Whatever it was that made Clarke laugh like this, she was ok with it. She felt like she could listen to Clarke laugh like this again. And again. And again. Clarke calmed down a little and looked at Lexa apologetically, shrugging, like she wanted to tell her that she really tried not to laugh.

‘It’s just, like…You are this Alexandria Woods, curator at a gallery, gallery that you own, and here you are giving names to burgers around New York based on a children’s book. ‘ she smiled.

‘I’m sorry…’ Lexa recoiled. ‘ Harry Potter is not just a children’s book. Let’s get that straight.’

‘No, you are right…I love Harry Potter.’ Clarke defended. ‘I just think it’s….adorkable.’

‘It is not.’ Now Lexa defended. ‘Like you said, I am respected curator, thing’s I say are not adorkable. They are facts.’ Lexa nodded a small nod.

‘True. I’m sorry.’ Clarke agreed. ‘What you said it’s a fact.’ Clarke offered to Lexa, and Lexa nodded again, smug like. ‘Adorkable fact.’ Clarke finished.

‘Watch it Miss. Griffin, you are not hired yet. Is this really the way you wanna start your job interview?’ Laxa put on a professional façade , but still couldn’t fully hide playful smirk that lingered on her lips.

‘Oh, you are right Miss. Woods.’ Clarke acted shy. ‘It’s not like you ran a whole block to catch me and invite me to dinner just to hire me.’ Clarke had her head down and looked at Lexa through her long lashes. Lexa squinted her eyes.

‘Touché.’

Nyko approached them with a small pad and a big grin. It’s not like he stood by the counter waiting for a perfect opportunity to come and take the order. It’s not like he didn’t want to break their playful, and oh so sweet banter.

‘So ladies…What’s it gonna be?’ he asked. Clarke turned towards Lexa and motioned with her hand like she was giving the reins to her.

‘Two Popps and two beers.’ Lexa ordered with ease. Nyko nodded and turned around. ‘Wait Nyko…make those two unfiltered beers. The Belgian ones you have.’ Lexa winked at Clarke. ‘Let’s keep it classy.’ Clarke smiled and shook her head.

‘As you wish Commander.’ Nyko bowed and went behind the counter.

‘You have to tell me what’s the deal with this Commander stuff?’ Clarke prodded.

‘Not a chance.’ Lexa simply answered.

‘Oh, I’ll find out.’ Clarke promised.

‘You can try…’ Lexa dared her. ‘Now, let’s get to business, shall we? I’d like to finish everything before food arrives, cause trust me, after that, we won’t be able to make any coherent conversation.’

‘Ok, I agree.’ Clarke leaned on the table. ‘So, what exactly did you had in mind for that mural?’

‘Well, I haven’t had any idea, I wanted to find someone that had the talent and a vision. I just know that I want it to be amorphic, abstract. That will stand on its own, but it won’t stand off of other pieces that will be displayed in the gallery.’

‘Yeah, I understand that. Any color scheme that you had in mind?’

‘Again, no.’ Lexa smiled ‘ But I know that I want the colors to be earthy, calm, quiet almost. Something that won’t absorb all the light, but it won’t reflect it either.’

‘It seems like you don’t know what you want, but you know exactly what you don’t want.’ Clarke smiled at Lexa. ‘I like that.’

‘Well, it’s easier for me that way …to find out what I want, after I exclude all the things that I don’t like, things that I want filter themselves on it’s own.’ Lexa shrugged.

‘And yet, we are going to drink unfiltered beer.’ Clarke winked.

‘Ha – ha, such funny, much laugh.’ Lexa rolled her eyes.

‘I’m sorry…did you just throw a meme at me?’ Clarke asked, not believing that Lexa is even real at this point.

‘Maybe.’

‘You are a boss everyone loves, aren’t you?’ Clarke tilted her head.

‘Well, start working for me, and after some time, If you feel like you love me, you’ll know the answer.’ Lexa answered not thinking twice what she just said. Luckily Nyko appeared with the food and drinks and saved Lexa from this rather awkward situation. She cleared her throat.

‘Thanks Nyko…It looks amazing, as always.’

‘It really does look good.’ Clarke offered with a smile.

‘I hope you’ll enjoy ladies. I made them with some extra love.’ he winked and left them.

‘Ok, before we start eating, can I say something…?’ Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. ‘If I’m being honest, I fell in love with that picture that you sent me. With the blue and green color intertwined. I just…it felt so powerful.’

‘Thank you…’ ‘So, I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to paint something like that?’

‘Well…That wall is not small.’ Clarke said. ‘So if you want me to try and replicate something like that on a rather larger scale, I’ll have to work on it a little longer.’

‘ I think that gallery would be ready for re-opening in about two weeks, roughly. Can you do it in that time frame?

‘I’m not going to lie… It’s going to be a stretch.’ Lexa’s face fell. ‘But, I could manage to paint it in two weeks, only if you’ll have me there all day, every day.’ Clarke offered. Lexa again felt like she was soaring.

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ again she bit her tongue. _What the hell is going on?_

‘So…we made an agreement? Is this official? Am I now a working, paying artist? Clarke almost bounced in her chair.

‘Well, tomorrow you will have to sign some papers, but yes…Yes you are.’ Lexa offered her hand for a handshake and Clarke took it eagerly.

‘Welcome to The 13 gallery Clarke.’ Lexa shook Clarkes hand and smiled like a child on a Christmas day. After all, she felt like she got a biggest present of them all. Clarke nodded and Lexa’s words resonated within her. Who would have thought? Clarke Griffin after all was good enough for that gallery.

‘Now let’s eat.’

 

 

Anya stopped her car and looked at the big house in front of her. Vast front lawn was freshly trimmed, and giant red roses adored base of the front porch. It almost reminded her of their old Boston house where they lived before their family split up.

‘Is this it?’ she asked Marcus.

‘Let’s hope so…’ he got out of the car, opening the back door for Indra to climb out.

‘House is very nice.’ she said. The front door opened and slim, beautiful women with long brown hair pulled up in a ponytail appeared, her face adorned with a most sincere smile appeared.

‘Marcus!!!!’ she exclaimed with her hands in the air.

‘We are in the right place.’ Marcus commented with a grin. ‘Abby, oh my God, look at you.’ he approached the women, hugging her tightly. ‘Every time I see you, you look even better and better.’

‘Always a sweet talker, aren’t you Marcus?’ Abby hugged Marcus again, just for a good measure. Deep but cheerful voice behind them made them split.

‘Easy there Marcus…if I hadn’t know how much you love your wife, I’d be throwing punches right now.’ Jake came down the stairs, hugging Marcus and petting him on the back. ‘Indra, my dear, dear Indra.’ Jake left Marcus and approached Indra who was in a tight grip that Abby locked around her. ‘Always as graceful as a royalty.’ he hugged her tightly.

‘And I am a sweet talker?’ Marcus commented shaking his head amusedly.

‘Jake, I am as graceful as squeezed lemon, after the flight and the travel, but thank you.’ Indra smiled widely. Abby saw Anya and approached her with wide eyes.

‘Anya?’ Girl just nodded and hugged Abby quickly, she wasn’t the one who was big on physical contact. ‘Oh my God, look at you. What a beauty.’ Her eyes roamed all over Anya who felt slightly uneasy under the scrutiny of this women.

‘Mrs. Griffin, it’s a pleasure meeting you…again?’ Anya didn’t know if she ever did meet this woman, she couldn’t remember, but she obviously knew Anya.

‘Oh, don’t you dare call me that dear…’ Abby waived with her hand. ‘And we never met, but I sure know about you and little Alexandria.’ she smiled fondly at the memory of Marcus always gushing over pictures of his daughters.

‘Oh, ok…for a minute I thought I was being rude.’ Anya shrugged. ‘And I can assure you, Alexandria is no longer so little.’

‘I can only imagine.’ Abby smiled. ‘Come, let’s get inside, have some drink.’ She motioned for Anya to follow her. ‘Indra, come…Jake, are you ok with the luggage?’ she asked.

‘Yes my dear…’

‘I’ll help, go on…well be there in a minute.’ Marcus waived them off. ‘Emergency man talk is about to ensue.’ He winked at Indra who just shook her head.

‘I swear, he was equally excited to see Jake as much as you.’ Indra told Abby.

‘Well, if he was anything like Jake, I can imagine…He was so happy, like a child.’ she chuckled. ‘He needs more friends…sometimes I think he is stuck here with me, he is on a verge of losing his mind.’

‘I get that.’ Indra nodded.

‘Yes… good thing, that’s about to change.’ Abby quipped, and Anya heard it. She was starting to think that her parents aren’t here just because of their business trip. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she opened her messages. It was Raven. That drew a big smile on her face, and Indra caught it.

‘Anya, go home.’ she said. ‘Rest. Tomorrow will be having a nice catch up.’ Indra said, guessing that her daughter had some stuff to do, gauging by her reaction after reading the message.

‘Are you sure?’ Anya asked and Indra just nodded, hugging her daughter tightly. ‘I missed you so much.’ she took advantage of Abby’s absence to hug Anya.

‘I missed you too.’ Anya whispered into Indras neck, finally letting herself have that moment of pure love being shown. She was always tougher than Lexa. But Indra knew better. Her Anya was just as much fragile and soft.

‘You are going already?’ Abby came from the kitchen, carrying a tray with some refreshments.

‘Yes ma’am.’ Anya nodded. ‘Oh, you are your mothers daughter alright.’ Abby chuckled. ‘You will call me Abby one day. I can promise you that.’ Anya just smiled awkwardly. She bid her goodbye with Abby, and when she went outside, Jake and Marcus were still engaged in some heated conversation about…football? She rolled her eyes and approached her dad, tapping him on the shoulder.

‘Dad, I’m going, but we we’ll see each other day after tomorrow? She wanted to confirm.

‘Oh, so soon.’ he asked, and Anya nodded. ‘Ok sweety…yes, we will have a nice day together, roaming around the city.’ he smiled. ‘I want to go on top of the Empire State building.’

‘Lord, help me…’ Anya muttered and hugged her father quickly. ‘Jake, it was a pleasure.’ she shook his hand.

‘Same here.’ Jake smiled.

She got into her car, waved goodbye and took off, thinking about that Ravens message. This girl is rapidly capturing her heart and she was scared shittless because of it. But more so, happy.

 

 

‘Lexa….Lexa!’ Clarke waived her hand in front of other girls face. ‘Lexaaa….Alexandria!’ that snapped Lexa back to reality. She lost herself for a moment, between talking with Clarke and eating, she remembered the conversation she had with Costia. She knew she had to tell Clarke the truth, why was she treated so poorly.

‘I’m sorry…’ Lexa shook her head. Clarke had a concerned expression on her face. ‘I’m back.’ she smiled.

‘Where were you?’ Clarke asked. ‘I hope I’m not that boring?’

‘Oh god, far from it.’ Lexa chuckled. ‘Clarke…there is something I have to tell you…before you start working at the gallery.’

‘Ok…’ Clarke was now on high alert. She knew that this whole ordeal was too good to be true. “ I hope you haven’t changed your mind?’ she smiled fearfully. Lexa looked at her and took a deep breath.

‘No…but I hope you wouldn’t after I tell you what I have to.’ she cringed.

‘Ok….now you are scaring me a little.’ Clarke shifted uncomfortably in her chair. ‘What is it?’

‘It’s about Costia.’ Lexa started. She just had to tell Clarke everything, now. Rip the bandage off. Clarke nodded slowly.

‘I saw her yesterday, after our conversation at the gallery.’ Lexa started. ‘I went to her house, determent to find out what happened back then, why she did what she did.’ Clarke just listened. She wanted to know too. She wanted to know what she did that made Costia treat her that way. ‘And…what I found out, well…’ she couldn’t begin to explain what Costias confession did to her. Shook her? Hurt her? Scared her? Made her uncomfortable knowing that now, through some twisted game that fate played she found herself…liking the same girl. She liked Clarke. She liked her a lot. It all came to her with such a force, she gasped audibly, and Clarke was now getting even scared.

‘She was in love with you.’ Lexa blurted out, wide eyed, feeling like she was all of a sudden floating in this weightless, vacuum like space she couldn’t get out of. Notion of her attraction to Clarke, mixed with current situation she was in was overwhelming as it is. Clarkes face expression didn’t help.

‘I beg your…Excuse me?’ Clarke stuttered. ‘In love with me?’

‘Yes…’ Lexa tried to explain further, but Clarke stood up abruptly.

‘I…I have to use the restroom.’

She turned and left, leaving Lexa stunned and all she could do is nod. She sat back in her chair, thinking how she got herself into this mess? Just two days ago she didn’t knew about Clarke Griffin. She didn’t knew Clarke Griffin. She didn’t feel anything regarding Clarke Griffin. And now. Now her life was spinning around this Clarke Griffin, who can easily just pick up her stuff and go, never to look back, and be done with this situation, move on with her life, leaving Costia, Lexa, gallery, all of it behind her. That scared Lexa even more. _She can’t leave_. I hope she won’t leave. She snapped back to reality when Clarke sat down again, with a blank face.

‘What the actual fuck?’ is all Clarke said. She was still here. Lexa felt a little lighter knowing that Clarke didn’t took a chance and bolted.

‘Yes.’ Lexa started again. ‘She was assistant at the time, and she found out about your work as soon as she got the job. She fell in love with it.’ Lexa continued. ‘That your light strokes, color schemes and patterns took her to some other place, every time she looked at one of your paintings.’ she took a sip of her beer. ‘And soon enough, she met you.’

‘But we never met.’ Clarke retorted.

‘Well, not officially.’ Lexa shrugged. ‘She saw you and her colleague, professor Echo Iceway pointed you out as this young thriving artist with a bright future.’

‘Echo was like my mentor…’ Clarke whispered.

‘As Costia told me, when she saw you, she felt this unexplainable rush of blood to her head.’ Lexa rolled her eyes subtly. ‘She finally saw who was behind all those paintings she fell in love with.’

‘I can’t believe it.’ Clarke shook her head lightly.

‘ I can..’ Lexa whispered. Clarke didn’t hear her. ‘After that, she kind of followed you around, always interested in your future project, draining Echo for all of the information that she wanted to know.’

‘ I don’t know what to say…’ Clarke mused.

‘Do you like her back?’ Lexa spat and she found herself for the third time in a shit hole that she dug for herself. Clarke narrowed her eyes and shook her head, like she couldn’t believe what Lexa asked her.

‘No.’ Clarke felt hurt. How could Lexa even think that she would find Costia better, prettier, funnier, more attractive than Lexa? _Wait, what_? She asked herself, was she indeed attracted to Lexa?

‘Ok…Anyway, she was very happy about the annual exhibition, she wanted to work with you, somehow make her way near you.’ Lexa explained further.

‘What happened then?’

‘She overheard a conversation that you had with Echo one day. Apparently you told her that you loved her, that she was most amazing woman that you met and that she opened your eyes more than in one way.’ Lexa started feeling more and more uneasy. This feeling inside her, turned her insights inside out. _Jealousy?_

‘Um, no… I remember that conversation.’ Clarke grew angrier. ‘I told her that I think she was amazing because she gave herself to each and every student she had, helping us every step of the way, while we tried to find out who we were as an artists.’ she shook her head. ‘I told her that she opened my eyes to this vast world of creation and that I don’t have to put myself in a box, that I’m aloud to explore and experiment. I told her that I loved that. Not her, THAT.’

Clarke was now panting. She couldn’t believe what was the reason behind her excruciating year filled with self-doubt. What subsequently led her into this relationship that she had with Finn. What made her life almost living hell for extended period of time. And not just hers. Octavias too. Girl was there from the beginning till the end. She endured it all with her. For what?

‘Well…she heard it wrong.’ Lexa shrugged. ‘She felt jealous. She though that Echo was the one who is going to win your heart.’

‘That is utter bullshit.’

‘Yeah, well…’ Lexa looked in Clarke’s eyes. ‘She sent you that e-mail. Destroyed your chance to show off your work.’ she took a deep breath. ‘And she slept with Echo, wanting to destroy yours and hers possible chance of being together. Destroying my heart at the end.’

They sat in silence for some time, neither one of them wanting to break this veil of heaviness that could be felt in the air. Both of them going back in time, remembering how they felt after what Costia did. Both of them felt tired of it all. Could they just leave all that in the past? Could they just move on, knowing what happened. Clarke was the first one who spoke.

‘Do I still have a job?’

 

Both of them burst out laughing, harder and harder. The laugh that somehow cleansed them from what happened. Laughter that built a giant wall between them now and their past that was somehow conducted by Costias doing. The laughter subsided and both of them were drained. They looked at each other, still smiling.

‘Clarke…’

‘Lexa.’

‘You still have the job.’

 

They walked back in silence. It wasn’t awkward, it was light, with a hint of possibilities. With a hidden thoughts about the other person. Walk that was filled with smallest of smiles every time they shoulders lightly touched. Filled with hidden glances. Something was happening, something shifted, they felt it, but none of them was going to voice it. Not just now. They’ve created this new opportunity where they could coexist, clean slated. And prospect of that was much to enticing for them to do anything about it just now. They arrived in front of Clarke’s building, looking into each others eyes.

‘This is me.’ Clarke shifted from one foot to another.

‘I know…’ Lexa smiled. ‘Thank you for..’

‘Don’t.’ she stopped Lexa. ‘Let’s just leave it in the past, where it belongs.’

‘Ok.’ Lexa whispered. Clarke knew she could stay here for the rest of the night, just looking at Lexa, but that’s not going to happen. She straightened her back, knowing that she had to put an end to this day. And what a day it was.

‘Goodnight Lexa.’ she shook Lexa’s hand, relishing in the softness and warmth that the touch gave her.

‘Goodnight Clarke.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, guys, I started a new Clexa fic.... go and check it out ;)
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8483155/chapters/19439434


	8. And we won't eat and we won't sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's like a filler chapter, some fine stuff coming your way in the next update.

Lexa laid in her bed, and it was almost 3a.m, but she just couldn’t fall asleep. She turned and tossed, annoying Artigas to no end in the process, cause every time he finally nestled himself, Lexa would move and ruin his previous effort. After some time he just gave up and went to the living room. Sofa would do for tonight. But Lexa on the other hand couldn’t find comfortable position. It was too hot at one point, so she would turn her pillow, but then it would be too cold. So she would turn it back. Her left leg was under the covers while the right one was exposed. But she put it under the covers quickly. She still believed that something might catch her leg if it wasn’t under the covers. _Yeah, I am a grown ass women, and I know better than to leave my limb exposed to whatever shit is lurking under the bed._ Lexa moved from one side of the bed to another, changing positions, splayed out in one moment, then cramped into a fetal position. Still no god damn sleep. She angrily tried to fling her thin blanket off of her whilst trying to get up, ending catching herself in a makeshift net.

‘For fucks sakes!!!’ she shouted finally freeing herself from the blanket.

She walked to the kitchen, her oversized gray t shirt flung around her tights, bare feet tapping on the wooden floor. Lexa opened her fridge and retrieved a bottle of ice tea. Then she went to her stereo and pressed play, letting Blue by Pools to fill the heavy summer air in her living room. Balcony door were opened and she went to sit on her loveseat listening to never sleeping city below her. She sipped her ice tea and tried to rationalize what’s been keeping her up tonight. Her parents are in town, and she is more than ecstatic to spend time with them, because she missed them so, so much. She missed her mother’s gentle touch and bright eyes. She missed her father’s always supporting stance for everything she did in her life, knowing that he will always be there for her. And although she was happy they are here, she knew that it won’t last long, and they will be back in L.A. in no time, and she will again miss them like crazy. Even though she couldn’t remember her real parents, she couldn’t imagine her life being different, with different people raising her and loving her. Strangely enough, she never felt that “itch” to find out who her real parents were. Since she was little she felt like she was in the right family, never wanting to know the family that was hers, biologically. No one else, on this planet would loved her more, cherished her, supporting her, shielding her, teaching her than Marcus and Indra.

But, still…that wasn’t the reason she couldn’t sleep. She started to think that all that pressure from the gallery started to get to her, but again, everything was running smoothly. Gustus and Luna were best of the best, they listened to her and did their job on time. Everything was done as they said it would be. They didn’t break the budget, hell, they even managed to save her some money. Both of them were funny and genuinely good people to be around, so she never had to dread going to the gallery knowing that she would have to endure annoying people whom she rather murder.

So, yeah, finally she landed her wandering mind on a certain blonde. Lexa smiled immediately and caught herself doing so. She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head slightly, still smiling. She remembered how her body trembled first time she saw Clarke in her gallery, how her palms got sweaty and how her breath got shallow. She cringed, cause she knew that she acted like a total idiot around Clarke and she could only hope that the blonde didn’t pick up on that. Her smile got wider when she remembered their dinner earlier that night, how they easily changed their conversation from subject to subject and how Clarke, truly stoically took that bitter Costia pill. She was sure that Clarke would just stand up and walk away, and she wouldn’t even blame her. That girl had every right to spit in her face, walk away and never look back. But she stayed. That drew even bigger smile on Lexa’s face. She felt giddy all of a sudden. The girl was so pretty, she sometimes thought Clarke wasn’t real. Her eyes were something Lexa never saw, even though she traveled the world, she never experienced that color of blue. It was like Adriatic sea, but also like the clearest sky on a winter morning. They were big and bright and they showed everything Clarke was feeling. Lexa could just stare at them for the rest of her life. But also she could listen to Clarke talk, her velvety voice, crackling at certain times, when she was talking about something that she really liked. And then she would smile, the brightest smile Lexa ever saw, full of life and happiness. She liked how Clarke articulated with her hands, like she was painting a picture of that exact conversation, and how Clarke always looked her in the eyes every time Lexa spoke. She invested herself, listening and nodding, smiling and raising her eyebrows each time Lexa said something that was less ordinary. And then she knew, that she liked Clarke. What was there not to like? But, Lexa learned her lesson with Costia. She got burn so badly, that she really couldn’t see how would she be able to open up again.

‘What the fuck Lexa, you don’t even know if she likes girls…’ Lexa reprimanded herself.

She could be chasing a ghost right now, just an idea of Clarke as her love interest. What if Clarke was already in a relationship? If she is, is it serious? Who is the luckiest bastard in this world? Does he loves her? Respects her? Supports her? _Even if he does, I would do it so much better_. She tried to remove herself from this whirlwind that Clarke created just by existing. But that would be hard, now that Clarke is going to be in the same space Lexa is, every day, for the next two weeks. And just like that, Lexa could almost hear, like it was here, she could here Clarke laughing. And she smiled again.

‘Woods, you are so gay, it isn’t even funny anymore…’ she got up, turned the stereo off, got into the bed and stared at her ceiling. Maybe tomorrow she can ask her mother for an advice. Indra never let her down.

 

Clarke was woken up like she was at the prison and guards decided to do a surprise check up. Doors of her room opened abruptly, letting now screaming brunette in her room. Octavia was shouting something, jumping on her bed, hands raised above her head, her face seconds from splitting in half, that’s how big of a smile Octavia had. Clarke still couldn’t find her bearings, she was still in a limbo, she wasn’t sure if this is a dream, or a really bad reality. She fell asleep late last night, she couldn’t find her silent zone. Why? Cause Lexa’s voice was ringing in her ears. Her laughter and replayed conversation they had wasn’t helping her. She fell asleep thinking about the gorgeous woman, her hair, lips, nose, that impeccable neck, long fingers, but most of all her eyes.

‘Clarkeee!!!” Oh my fucking god, I think I’m going to die right here right now!!!’ Octavia screamed still jumping on Clarkes bed. The blonde sat on her bed, gently whispering.

‘Yeah, you will…I will kill you. Slowly. Painfully.’

‘Clarke. Wake the fuck up. I need to celebrate, get your ass up. Now, NOW.’ Octavia was still shouting and Clarke could now vividly imagine Octavia lying in a pool of blood.

‘Octavia, I will rip you apart.’ she stated calmly. Octavia plopped herself next to Clarke shoving her phone into blonde’s face.

‘Look. Look, just look.’

‘O, please, just…I beg you. Get. The. Fuck. Out.’ she motioned each time towards the door.

‘Clarke… I got invited. I, Octavia Blake, got invited.’

‘Invited for what? Euthanasia? If so, I’ll drive.’

‘Clarke, you stupid bitch.’ She shoved Clarke. ‘Get your ass up, I’m going to make you some coffee. And then you can be happy for your best friend.’ Octavia gleamed.

‘Why? What happened with Raven?’ Clarke decided that today Octavia earned some ball busting.

'Listen to me you piece of shit, you know GOD DAMN well that Raven comes second. I am your best friend. Always was and I always will be.’ Octavia pointed with her finger.

‘Umm, ok, whatever you say O…’ Clarke mused while getting up heading towards her bathroom.

‘Motherfucker…’ with that Octavia left Clarke to try and make herself half presentable. When Clarke came out of her room, Octavia sat at the kitchen table, grinning at her phone.

‘Ok, what’s going on?’ Clarke sat next to her, taking her mug, sipping on her coffee slowly, letting the liquid warm her up.

‘Ok, so you know how long I had a crush on this one woman.’ Octavia jittered.

‘Yeah, I know…’

‘Well…I got an invitation for her secret master class.’ Octavia was again grinning like a teenage girl. ‘She is in town, and she handpicked twenty five of us to come and listen to her.’

‘That’s amazing O…’ Clarke was now really starting to get happy for her friend.

‘I got picked.’ She said dreamily. ‘Clarke, that women listened to me playing, she read about me, and she picked me.’

‘And twenty four other people….’

‘You are seriously missing the point, but I know that you can be dense sometimes, so I’ll forgive you.’ Clarke just flipped her. ‘I’m going to, finally meet my hero, my idol, my….everything.’

‘Easy O, you sound like the biggest stan of this…what’s her name.’

‘I god damn right am her biggest stan.’ Octavia felt little offended. ‘Mrs. Birch is like a royalty. She is one of the finest and most educated professionals there is.’

‘That is nice…’

‘Yeah… Pike would like to be like her, but he doesn’t have the finesse and the flow that this woman has. She is like….she is like a fucking God.’

‘Well…I am really happy for you O.’ Clarke patted her friend on the back.

‘Thanks….’ Octavia got serious. ‘ I know how I look, but I really am so excited for this….It’s like you could watch Caravaggio paint.’

‘Oh damn… ‘ Clarke raised her eyebrows.

‘Yeah…’ Octavia raised her head looking at Clarke. ‘How did it go?’

‘What…?’

‘Psht…You know what. How did your interview with Lexa go?’ Just hearing other girls name made Clarke smile. ‘Oh my god, you are so smitten…Clarke…’ Octavia slapped her friends arm jokingly.

‘Am not.’ Clarke rebelled.

‘Oh Princess, you can’t lie to me. Lexa is…’ Clarke smiled again. ‘Lexa…’ Octavia tried again and Clarkes smile never faltered. ‘Clarke you are hopeless.! Look at you.’ Octavia teased.

‘Shut the fuck up…do you want to know or not?’

‘Yes please.’

‘Well, I will be working in the gallery for the next two weeks. Mural is mine. And Lexa was very supportive of my artistic expression and pretty much gave me the rains over it.’

‘That is…nice I guess.’ Octavia shrugged.

‘Octavia, why can’t you be happy for me? I landed a job. I will get paid for it. It will stay there for god knows how long. People will look at it. My work will be seen.’

‘You know that’s not why I’m reserved.’ Octavia pointed. ‘ I am very happy for the job you got…but.’

‘Oh, please, not with this again.’ Clarke shook her head and got up, heading to the kitchen to pour some more coffee. ‘When will you stop?’ she looked at Octavia expectedly.

‘I don’t like her. You know that. She knows that. It’s that simple.’

‘And what happened to supportive friend who was willing to swallow her pride for me?’

‘I’m still here…’

‘Well it doesn’t seems like it.’ Clarke stopped Octavia. They looked at each other in silence. Clarke broke it. ‘She told me what happened.’

‘With that bitch?’ Octavia asked and Clarke just nodded. ‘Oh, I can’t wait to hear this.’

‘Well buckle up, because you won’t believe it.’ Clarke sat again next to Octavia.

 

She told her everything Lexa told her the day before. About Costia and her, well obsession, how she misread number of things, ending shitting all over Clarke’s life. Octavia just listened with her eyes wide mouth agape. It seemed like she didn’t even blink. When Clarke concluded her story, Octavia just tilted her head, looking in nothing in particular. Eyes still wide.

‘Well, fuck me sideways, that bitch is crazy.’ Octavia looked at Clarke.

‘Tell me about it….And you should see Lexa, she felt like a shit.’

‘I…I don’t know what to say Clarke…’

‘So, it takes one Costia to make you speechless.’ Clarke giggled.

‘How can you be so blaze about this Clarke?’ Octavia raised her hands.

‘What is there to be done now Octavia?’ Clarke asked her. ‘It’s in the past, deep dark past, and I’m fucking over it. I want to move on.’

‘Yeah, but…’ Octavia started, but then something flashed across her face that made Clarke slightly uneasy. Octavia was grinning so devilishly, Clarke backed up a little.

‘O…are you ok?’

‘Oh Clarke, I’ve never been better. ‘

‘You don’t look like it.’

‘Yeah, looks can be deceiving.’ With that Octavia stood up. ‘I have to go now. See ya later princess.’ She pecked Clarke on the cheek, took her bag and exited the apartment. Clarke looked long after Octavia.

‘What the actual fuck just happened…?’

 

 

Lexa stood in front of the coffee shop, waiting for Anya to come. They were going to grab some drinks and then meet with their mother for a lunch. Indra was adamant about not wanting Anya or Lexa coming for her in Jersey. She told them that she is perfectly capable of managing her trip to town and that she really doesn’t need a chauffeur. So Lexa and Anya had a little window of time to catch up with one another before they spent the rest of the day with their mother. Lexa saw Anya through her glasses approaching with a sly smile on her face. Well she is in a good mood. She smiled back and hugged her sister.

‘You are happy today.’ Lexa observed.

‘Of course I am.’ Anya shrugged. ‘I missed mom, and we will have a nice day together.’

‘Yeah…that’s it?’ Lexa questioned with her brows raised.

‘Yes.’

‘Fucking liar.’ Lexa shook her head. ‘Tell me all about it before we meet with mom.’ she entered the coffee shop heading towards the sweet girl behind the counter. They placed their orders and upon taking their cups, they sat in the sweet little garden that this coffee shop had. It was a beautiful day, it wasn’t too hot, skies were clear and variety of flowers grew in this little garden that made Lexa even more happier.

‘Talk.’ Lexa looked at her wrist watch. ‘We have roughly twenty minutes before we meet with mom, so…chop chop.’

‘Lexa, there is nothing I can tell you that I already didn’t spill.’ Anya sipped her coffee. ‘We haven’t seen each other since that night.’

‘Did you speak?’

‘Yeah, we did…yesterday. Couple of messages here and there, but nothing more.’

‘Have you asked her on the second date?’

‘Well…she actually asked me. Sort of…’ Anya smiled.

‘Sort of?’

‘Yes, she asked me to come tonight for a dinner. At her place. She said she was cooking.’

‘Oh, she is cooking something.’ Lexa wiggled her eyebrows.

‘Ugh, grow up nerd.’ Anya waived her hand like she dismissed Lexa’s innuendos. Lexa looked at Anya and leaned in.

‘An…just tell me this. Do you like her? Do you feel good when you are together?’ Anya eyed Lexa and nodded.

‘Yes. And yes.’ is all Anya said and that was more than enough for Lexa. She knew that Anya was a women of few words and when she admitted something like this, she meant it. And that is everything Lexa needed to know. Her sister was happy. And that was all that mattered.

‘Let’s get moving. We know how much Indra hates when somebody is late.’ Anya stood up first.

‘Can you please stop calling her that.’

‘Well it’s her name, right?’

‘When will you stop pretending that you are not so attached to her, that you love her and that you missed her maybe more than I did, and that is almost impossible.’ Lexa chuckled. ‘Who are you trying to lie here? I know that you are mommas little girl.’ she winked at Anya who was getting flustered by now.

‘Whatever… Move, snail.’

 

 

They met with Indra on the corner where little bistro was settled. Here they would have a lunch, and after that, they’ll take a walk through Central Park that could be seen from where they sat. They ordered their food, chatted and laughed.

‘So, my sweet younglings. Do tell me, how is everything going in your life?’ Indra reclined in her chair smiling fondly at her daughters. ‘Anya, you first.’

‘Why me?’ Anya almost screeched.

‘You are older.’ deadpanned.

‘Oh, I see how it is…’ Anya squinted her eyes and Lexa laughed. Anya took a deep breath.

‘Everything is fine. Work was a little strenuous past couple of weeks, with the transition and all, but at the end I managed to get everything in order for upcoming semester. I had a lot of help, to be honest. My assistant is very good. She did everything I told her to do…’

‘And then some more…’ Lexa whispered. Anya just gave her a dead stare, hopping that Indra didn’t hear her.

‘So, that is good. Other than that, my life is pretty much boring right now. It’ll pick up when I start working again.’ She finished and reached for her white wine.

‘So, that assistant of yours is your love interest too?’ Indra asked. Anya spat her wine, surprised that Indra read her like a child’s book.

‘Wh…what?’ Anya tried to compose herself.

‘Oh Anya please. I saw how you smiled at that girls message yesterday. And you never, I mean, never praise someone. So when you did it, I knew something was going on.’ Indra explained.

‘Mom, you are freaking me out right now…’ Anya quipped.

‘And plus, Lexa told me something is going on with this girl.’ Indra said smirking.

‘Lexa!!! You little shit.’ Anya slapped Lexa on the arm. ‘What the actual fuck?’

‘Language Anya.’ Indra tried to play stern, but she was smiling.

‘What…you would never told her about this girl otherwise.’ Lexa tried to reason with Anya.

‘I hate you…’ Anya shook her head.

‘Baby, I’m glad that you finally found someone that makes you smile. That is all I need to know right now. Ok?’ she took Anya’s hand in hers and reassured her daughter that is ok to be happy.

‘Ok…’ blonde just nodded.

‘And you Lexie? How is everything going with the gallery?’

‘Everything is amazing. Reconstruction is going great, we should re open in about two weeks. ‘ she smiled. ‘And I also found an artist who is going to paint a mural on the wall, so I’m excited about that too. It’s going to bring something else to the space. ‘

‘I’m so glad and proud sweetie. Of both of you. You grew up and became this carrier driven women, being one of the best in your fields. I am really proud.’ she caressed Lexa’s cheek. ‘But, what is with your personal life Lexa?’

‘It’s nonexistent at the moment mom.’ Lexa exhaled but had a hint of a smile on her face. Indra saw it.

‘Whoever she is, I believe she is something special. You deserve someone like that. After Costia, you deserve the world.’ Indra stated and Anya just nodded.

‘Mom…’

‘Don’t Mom me. You know I’m right. And I hope you are doing something about this girl, because you are smiling even now when I mention her.’ Indra pointed to Lexa and Lexa really caught herself smiling.

‘It’s this artist that I told you about. She is really amazing and talented. She is quite something.’ Lexa said and looked in the distance.

‘But?’

‘But I’m not sure I can attract that kind of person…I have a boring life. Hell, I am boring sometimes…’

‘Shut your mouth Lexa.’ Indra cut her. ‘I will not hear this from you. You are strong, intelligent, funny, caring and beautiful woman. She would be lucky to have you.’ Anya again nodded vigorously.

‘I’m just saying that she maybe have some other interests in her life that I can not keep up with.’

‘You are telling me that you don’t know if she is attracted to women.’ Indra again understood everything.

‘Yes basically’ Lexa confirmed.

‘Just turn that charm of yours and she will fall for you, no matter what.’ Anya winked at Lexa.

‘Be yourself. I can guarantee that she will find you adorable.’ Indra added.

‘I don’t know…Plus she will work for me now, and I don’t know if it’s smart to mix those two…I just…don’t know.’

At that moment her phone started to ring. When she got it out of pocket and looked at the ID she sported the biggest smile on her face. Anya and Indra just looked at each other smiling fondly. It was Clarke. But her smile faltered quickly. What if she’s calling to cancel everything? What if she had a night to think about everything, realizing that this is not something she wanted to do? That she didn’t want to do anything with Lexa. Indra caught Lexa’s change and patted her back

. ‘Go, take it.’

‘Thanks…I won’t be long.’ Lexa stood up and went in front of a bistro where they sat, answering the phone. Indra and Anya looked at her through the glass and saw how nervous Lexa was, but her smile never fell. She paced back and forth, gesturing with her hands, motioning like she was writing something. Nodding and laughing. Anya looked at Indra.

‘Mom…’

‘Yes honey.’ Indra looked back at Anya.

‘When are you moving here?’ she asked. Indra widened her eyes but smiled.

‘I guess you are intuitive like me.’

‘So?’ Anya smiled.

‘Your dad and I are at the final stage of moving here. We already bought the house that is near the Griffins.’

‘But why haven’t you told us anything?’

‘Cause I knew you would do everything you could to help, and you have so much on your plates right now. We didn’t want to burden you with it. Abby and Jake helped us immensely, I think I can’t thank them enough.’

‘But, what about your jobs. Did dad find something here?’ What about you?’ Anya fired the questions rapidly, hoping she would get some answers before Lexa comes back.

‘Abby called Marcus and told him that her hospital was looking for a neurosurgeon. She said that they would wait for him as long as it should, since he is one of the best in the country. And I got fed up with the west coast. Lucky for me, I called my good friend here that works at the philharmonic orchestra here, and he told me that my name is big here. I guess I did something good throughout these years. They want me to become new head commander.’ at that Anya laughed and Indra smiled.

‘That is really amazing. I’m so happy you will be here, closer to us.’

‘Me too honey. We want to be here for you. ‘

‘But, when will you tell Lexa?’

‘We won’t tell her. It’s a surprise. We will come when the gallery is finished, at the opening. Until then, you will keep your mouth shut young lady.’ Indra threatened Anya with her finger.

‘Understood commander.’ Anya saluted to her mother.

At that point Lexa came back, grinning like a fool. ‘What did I miss?’ she asked.

‘Her apparently.’ Anya motioned to Lexa’s phone. Lexa’s cheeks got redder by the second.

‘I’m sorry it took me so long.’

‘It’s ok baby girl. Everything is all right I presume?’

‘Yes… That was her. She just informed me that she stopped by the gallery and signed the papers I left for her. She says that everything is in order and that she doesn’t have any complains. She will start tomorrow.’ Lexa nodded like she was trying to convince herself that everything is ok. This is real life.

‘I’m glad everything worked. So, now you can actually do something about that girl.’ Indra smiled and winked.

‘Yeah… will see.’ Lexa responded, but in her head she was shouting from the roof tops. Clarke is going to be so close to her. Maybe at the end, she could ask her out. Lexa hoped that Clarke would say yes.

 

Clarke was on her way to Raven’s. She grinned like a little child, she just finished her conversation with Lexa. Her voice was even sexier over the phone if that was possible. She was simply happy. Finally she got a job, something that she wanted to do all her life. Paint and live off of it. And having Lexa as a boss was a hefty bonus. She signed the papers that Ontari gave her, she chatted a little bit more with Luna and Gustus, got a feel of the space where she will be working. It was almost a dream job. But, it wasn’t a dream. This is real life. She knocked on the door that flung open seconds later, Raven standing in her PJ’s, hair messy. She just woke up.

‘Good morning sunshine.’ Clarke strode in, kissing Raven on the cheek.

‘Princess, you are way to chirpy today…’ Raven eyed her suspiciously.

‘Well, today is a good day Raven.’ she sat on the sofa kicking her feet on the table in front of it.

‘Do share.’ Raven went into the kitchen to make some coffee for her and Clarke, listening to the blonde.

‘I officially start to work tomorrow at the gallery. I signed the papers just now, and everything is just great.’

‘Clarke…’ Raven had some worrisome tone.

‘Raven, please, please…Can you be that friend that is happy for me and this opportunity? Octavia is giving me shit already, and I can not take it anymore. Just pretend that you are happy for me.’ Clarke almost begged Raven.

‘I don’t have to pretend Clarke… I am happy. Really I am. I just want you to be careful. Please…Ok?’ Raven smiled at her friend.

‘Ok.’ Clarke noded.

‘So, big shot…Tell me everything.’ Raven brought two mugs, placing them on the table sitting next to Clarke.

Clarke told her everything, just like she did tell everything to Octavia. Raven listened and nodded, not believing what she was hearing, just like Octavia did. She gave Costia shit every time she could, but she never expected this to be the truth. She just thought that Costia was envious. But now, she thought that Costia was a little crazy.

‘So, the two of them are not together anymore?’ Raven asked.

‘No, not since Costia cheated on Lexa. By the way Raven, how the fuck did you know that they were together? How did Octavia knew?’

‘Um…well, Costia works where I work…so I kind of…found out stuff about her.’

‘Raven!’ Clarke was genuinely surprised.

‘I just found out that she is with Lexa, but obviously, that is a stale information.’

‘Why you never told me?’

‘I really wanted to just mess with her, and I knew if I told you, you were going to say to just leave her alone.’

‘Damn right.’

‘Well, I didn’t want to leave her alone. So I shit all over her every time I have an opportunity.’

‘Ok Raven, please leave her alone…’

‘See. No fun in that.’

Clarke drank her coffee not believing that her friends never told her this. Then she remembered what she wanted to ask her friend.

‘So, how did the date go?’

‘It went…amazing.’ Raven dipped her head smiling. Clarke motioned with her hand like she was urging Raven to continue. ‘We had a dinner at a really fancy restaurant, like, she wasn’t joking when she said that we needed to dress up. We talked, I somehow found myself telling her everything, about my past, and then I knew that there was something. You know me.’

‘Yes I do. You never talk about that…’

‘Yes…but with her, I did. I told her everything. And she wasn’t pity about it. She didn’t feel sorry for me. I liked that.’

‘And?’

‘She drove me home, and…well, let’s just say she won’t be able to even try to intimidate me on work. I know that she a pussycat.’ Raven winked and Clarke laughed a throaty laugh.

‘Oh my god…’ she tried to wipe her tears now. ‘So, bottom?’

‘She is a pillow queen if I ever saw one.’

 

They continued to talk and laugh, Clarke helping her to decide what to make tonight when Anya is due to come by. She found herself thinking about Lexa. Is she a bottom? She looks like a top. _She would be a bottom if I had to say anything._


	9. Time to pray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just have to say that I laughed so hard when I was writing Octavia in this one. That girl has no chill.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and like always, I'm looking forward reading your comments :)

Clarke was grinning like a little child, and she was rushing to get to the gallery. It was her first day and she wanted to get there earlier so she could get some money from Ontari, as Lexa told her that all of the material would be provided by the gallery. Clarke had to go to a store she really loved and spend some time there picking everything she would need for this mural to become reality. The only thing that really bugged her is that Lexa won’t be at the gallery today. She had a family reunion of some sorts and she was going to be away today just like yesterday, and Clarke really wanted to see beautiful brunette , but it wasn’t in the cards. At least, today. So she made her mends with it and was determined to surprise Lexa when she comes back on Monday with some work done. She entered the gallery and was immediately greeted by the sweet giant Gustus who was trying to saw something in half, wearing protective goggles. He waived to her and continued his work, and she passed him just to be greeted by Luna who tried to shout over the circular saw that Gustus was using. 

‘Hey Clarke…You look nice today.’ Luna almost screamed and Clarke nodded and smiled. 

‘Thank you.’ she mouthed, she wasn’t going to shout, there was no point. ‘Ontari?’ she asked Luna and she motioned upstairs into Lexa’s office. Clarke just nodded and patted Luna on her arm and started to climb up. Door was closed, obviously girl needed some quiet if she was going to do any work today. Clarke was thinking about knocking, but her effort would be futile, so she just opened the door slowly. She saw Ontari, standing in front of Lexa’s desk, talking on her phone, and when she spotted Clarke she smiled and motioned her to come inside. Clarke did so and closed the door behind her. She stood by the door clutching to her backpack, waiting for the other girl to finish her conversation. When she did, Ontari spoke to Clarke.

‘Please sit down, I’ll be with you in just a second.’ Ontari smiled and exited the office, leaving Clarke alone in there. She realized that this was the first time she could see Lexa’s office in peace, without a hurry, so she did.  
She saw that the walls were adorned with art pieces from all around the world. All of them were poster like copies, framed into smaller frames, and hung on the walls in perfect order. Clarke looked around, taking each and every one of them slowly, smiling when Lexa’s choice surprised her. It was a variety show in here and Clarke loved it. On a big desk, Clarke spotted couple of picture frames, and she felt guilty just thinking about sneaking up a peak. Her noisiness won over and she took one. She could see two people smiling widely at the camera, somewhere on the beach, sunny day, windy too Clarke thought. Man in the picture had slightly longer hair and he had the warmest smile Clarke ever saw. Well, after her father’s of course. He was hugging dark skinned woman that also sported big smile, her hair short but beautiful. They looked like a nice couple, happy too. Clarke didn’t know who they might be. Lexa’s parents maybe, but the girl had no similarities with them whatsoever.  
She looked at the picture that was next to it and she grinned just like Lexa grinned in the picture. Lexa and some beautiful girl were sitting next to each other on some log. Lexa was wearing red plaid flannel shirt and cut off jean shorts, her hair picked up in a messy bun, grinning at the camera while showing of her s’mores. Girl next to her looked exotic, her face was mixture of Asian and caucasian genes that were a perfect mix obviously because girl was breath taking. She had long dirty blonde hair, and she was captured while rolling her eyes at Lexa, Clarke presumed. Together they looked at ease, like they were camping or something like that. Clarke felt slight pang of jealousy. She didn’t know who this girl was, but she must have been someone special to Lexa to keep her on her work desk, looking at her every day. She knew that Lexa and Costia broke up long time ago, and who was to say that Lexa haven’t found happiness with this girl. They would make a nice couple. She heard door being open and it was to late to put the picture back so she snapped her head up and was greeted with those green eyes that kept her dreams away for two nights in a row. She smiled but she could feel her cheeks blushing. She was caught red handed by her boss, and she really cursed herself inwardly. 

‘Hi Lexa…I..I was just looking around, and…’ she tried to explain, but Lexa strode over to her smiling, waiving her off with her hand.

‘Clarke, it’s fine. They weren’t in the safe or something like that. You can look at them’ she chuckled and glanced over to the picture that was still in Clarke’s hand.

‘Oh, I love that one. Anya and I were on a camping trip with Lincoln and some friends. We had a blast. And Anya is being Anya in that picture. It makes me smile every time when I look at it.’ she stood by Clarke, barely touching her with her shoulder and Clarke could feel her heart sinking deeper with each word. She even had a cool name. Anya. 

‘She is really pretty.’ Clarke managed to whisper and Lexa laughed her throaty laugh, leaving Clarke confused. 

‘She is, but she is such pain in the ass some times. But I love her.’ Lexa sat down at her chair motioning Clarke to sit down too. Clarke put the frame down and took her seat, feeling defeated. 

‘She is the best sister one could ever have.’ Lexa piped looking at the picture smiling and Clarke was having a slight heart problems. She is her sister. She plastered biggest smile on her face.

‘She looks bad ass.’ Clarke tried to calm her heart rate, but to no avail, this news really left her soaring. 

‘Yeah, she is…’ Lexa chuckled. ‘ But again, she can be pain in the ass.’ 

‘And those people?’ Clarke motioned to another frame. ‘They look sweet.’

‘Those are my parents.’ Lexa answered. 

‘O..oh. They look nice.’ Clarke uttered bewildered. Lexa really didn’t look like any of them. Clarke really tried to hide her surprise but Lexa saw it.

‘I was adopted Clarke. Those are my adoptive parents. I know I don’t look like them, but… I feel like they are the best parents I could have.’ she said it with some sorrow in her voice that ripped Clarke into pieces. Who in their right mind would leave Lexa? Small Lexa. She could just imagine how Lexa looked like when she was little, long brown hair with locks, those green eyes pure and naïve, childlike. She felt her eyes started watering and she quickly tried to compose herself. Lexa saw that Clarke was fidgeting with the strap of her backpack, sniffing couple of times. She smiled at blonde and her reaction.

‘They adopted Anya first, then me. Anya is four years older, and when I came into the picture she wasn’t really ecstatic about it.’ she chuckled. ‘But Marcus and Indra did their best to give us all the love they had, and we never felt that somebody was favored. So Anya let me in, little by little, and in the end we became best friends.’  
Lexa shrugged, like what she said right now was something so common. Clarke watched Lexa and all she wanted to do is hug the other girl tightly, but she restrained herself somehow. There was a knock on the door and after Lexa called the person in, Ontari walked inside the office carrying white envelope. 

‘Lexa, this is the budget you told me to make for Clarke.’ she gave the envelope to Lexa.

‘Thank you Ontari.’ and with that the girl left the office.

‘I’m sorry.’ Clarke apologized.

‘What for?’ Lexa asked furrowing her brows questioningly.

‘For being noisy little shit going through peoples stuff. You told me all of this, and I really didn’t want to do anything that would make you sad or upset or…’

‘Clarke, I’m not ashamed of them. Of me. Of Anya.’ Lexa stopped her. ‘I would have told you this, one way or the other. I’m sure somewhere down the line we would talk about our parents, and I would tell you exact same thing.’ she smiled warmly to Clarke. 

‘Yes, but still…’

‘Please, don’t worry about it.’ Lexa held her hand up. ‘This is the money that we agreed on. I hope it would be enough.’ she gave Clarke the envelope and blonde opened it widening her eyes comically. 

‘Lexa!!’ This is too much.’ she looked at Lexa. ‘This is really too much.’ Clarke tried to give it back to Lexa, but Lexa just shook her head.

‘Take it, spend as much as you need, buy everything that you have to. If something is overflowing, you can use it for something else.’

‘Yes Lexa, but you already are paying me for my work…’

‘It’s settled.’ Lexa concluded with finality and Clarke stopped talking knowing that she would return the money the minute she finishes her work here. 

‘Ok.’ Clarke agreed leaving this conversation to be continued in two weeks. ‘Well, I better get going. I would like to start today, and knowing me, I will spend quite some time in the shop.’ she smiled and she saw Lexa trying to say something, but something was stopping her.

‘Clarke…’ Lexa finally addressed her. Clarke was worried that she would tell her something regarding their previous conversation about her parents.

‘Yes Lexa…’ Clarke was standing next to the table looking at the brunette that seemed shy all of a sudden. 

‘Um…I was going to spend the day with my dad, but they called him from work, and now I don’t…’ she was stumbling on her own words and Clarke thought it was adorable.  
‘I’m trying to ask you, would you like some company while shopping today? Lexa finally voiced her question and Clarke smiled. She saw how suddenly flustered Lexa looked and Clarke took advantage of it.

‘Sure…’ Clarke answered and Lexa smiled. ‘Are you going to send Ontari or Luna to come with me?’ Clarke asked dead serious and Lexa’s face fell. 

‘Um…I was…’ Lexa tried to pry herself from this situation, but that was a blow she wasn’t expecting so she embraced defeat. ‘Tell me who would you rather take, and I’ll give them the day off.’ Lexa quipped and Clarke couldn’t believe her. 

‘Lexa…’ she called the girl and Lexa raised her gaze, looking at those blue eyes that seemed further and further now. ‘Can I be honest?’ 

‘Yes Clarke…Who would you prefer?’ Lexa asked seriously and Clarke again felt the urge to hug her and smack her at the same time.

‘You.’ Clarke deadpanned. She was looking Lexa in the eyes, asking herself how this beautiful girl could be so dense. Such a dork. 

‘Ok.’ Lexa just nodded smiling like a teenage girl. ‘Let’s go then.’ she got up, getting her bag and her sunglasses from the table, motioning for Clarke to go first. They were at the base of the stairs when Lexa called for Luna.

‘You are going so soon Commander?’ Gustus asked, looking utterly hysterically funny with those goggles on his face.

‘Yes Gus, I’m going to get some supplies with Clarke.’

‘Luna is not here, she went out to get us some coffee.’ Ontari emerged from the back room.

‘All right, tell her I’ll be back later. See ya.’ she waived them goodbye and followed Clarke out of the gallery.

‘You have to tell me what is it with this Commander thing Lexa.’ Clarke shook her head chuckling. Lexa slung her bag over her shoulder, getting her glasses on, smiling at Clarke, leaning closer to whisper in her ear.

‘Dream on.’ 

 

Octavia was sitting in the front row, looking at the woman she adored and worshiped for so long. She listened intently to every word that left woman’s mouth, feeling like she could listen to her till the end of time. They were entering their third hour of the master class, but Octavia didn’t feel anything. She wasn’t thirsty, she didn’t have to use bathroom, she didn’t need to strech her legs. Basically she could sit in that chair until her final hour if that was necessary. But others were getting tired and the women on the stage could feel that, so she announced that they can all take half an hour break. Everybody stood up, grunting and stretching and Octavia looked at them like they weren’t worthy of being here. Everybody started leaving the big hall, and only people left there were Octavia and the woman that took her breath away. So she decided that this was her chance to introduce herself and make a good impression. She strode over to the woman who was checking her phone and coughed slightly, hoping that the women would turn around. When that happened, Octavia felt like something went through her chest, taking all the air from it. She was like a dear caught in the headlights. Older women looked at her intensely, but still not speaking leaving Octavia to roast in front of her. 

‘Um…Hi…My name is Octavia Blake, violin.’ Octavia mustered all the strength she ever had to speak to this woman, reaching with her hand hoping for a handshake.

‘Nice to meet you in person Octavia…I was impressed with your skills.’ women replied smiling widely reaching back, shaking Octavia’s hand firmly. By this point Octavia wasn’t aware of her surroundings, if anybody asked her, she was on clouds right now, speaking to God herself. She snapped back to reality when she realized that the woman was looking at her suspiciously, because Octavia never retracted her hand, and the woman would do so if she was able, her hand now captured in Octavia’s death grip. She released her hand, feeling her face burning from embarrassment. 

‘I’m…I’m sorry, I’m acting like a total lunatic, but I’m not, I can assure you, I’m just so star struck by you and your presence and what you do, and there is no words in English language that can describe what kind of respect and admiration I feel towards you.’ Octavia was unstoppable now. She inwardly knew she was blabbering to no end but she just couldn’t stop herself, and the woman across her just stood there silently, and that wasn’t helping either. So…she continued.

‘I follow your work for years now, and for me, a musician, this is like a dream come through, and to know that you handpicked me for this, is like…a fuel to my willingness to be better and to work and practice harder each day, hoping that one day I will be under your conducting hand.’ she stopped to take a breath.  
‘Like I said, I can’t explain to you how much this means to me. I mean, I have a good friend, and I’m straight by the way…Ok that sounded like I have something against gay people, and that is not true, my brother is gay, he is actually getting married soon, and I’m so happy for him. John is a good man. Anyway, like I said a have a friend, well actually, she is like my sister, and she is bi by the way, and I live with her, so that is a true testimony that I don’t have any problem with LGBT+Q people….And yeah, she knows that I’m straight, like super straight. I mean, I tried something in college, but that wasn’t working, so I knew. Guy’s for me only. And yes, I told her that you are the only woman on this planet that I would be with, I would marry you If I could…’ at that, the women just raised her hand, silencing Octavia instantly.

‘I think you need to stop talking child.’ she watched Octavia crumbling down under the pressure of knowing what she just did. It was amusing to see her like that, but God knows where will Octavia go with her story, so the woman felt like she needed to put an end to it. Octavia was grateful. She just nodded.

‘I’m beyond flattered…well, for everything, but I’m married, happily if I might add. And thank you for your kind words, but child…You need to learn when to shut the hell up.’ she put her hand on Octavia’s shoulder, squeezing lightly.

‘I’m sorry, I apologize, I should never…I’m sorry.’ with that Octavia turned on her heels and darted towards the exit, heading straight to the bathroom. She splashed her face couple of times, and then she looked at her reflection in the mirror. 

‘I’m not gay, but I’m ok with that…Would you marry me?’ she said to herself with a mocking voice. ‘You, are a fucking idiot Octavia Blake and you should take that bow of yours and use it on yourself. Moron.’ she was getting heated when she heard someone flushing the toilet and opening the door. She watched her fellow violinist, zipping his pants, looking at her semi scared. She shut her eyes tightly, sipping the words through her gritted teeth.

‘This is man’s bathroom, isn’t it ?’ she asked, but she obviously knew the answer. He was just nodding, not really sure what to say. He didn’t know what will Octavia do, he just heard her saying some…well, weird stuff. She looked at him, in the mirror.

‘You will never speak about this. Ever.’ she was definitive, and he nodded again. Octavia had a reputation of madly talented, but also mad person. She was intense, and he really didn’t want to get on her bad side.

‘Good. See ya in there.’ she left the bathroom, dreading of coming into the hall again, facing her idol after that disaster of atomic proportions. But, she was Octavia Blake. And she will power it through. 

 

Clarke was walking o so slowly between the aisles, and Lexa followed her, now bored to no end. She really didn’t know what was the difference between these four colors of green, but Clarke put a lot of cans of it in their shopping cart. She was still looking at endless isle of just green paint, picking and reading what was written on them. Lexa huffed, looking at her watch, and she saw that they were here only about fifteen minutes, but for Lexa, this was definition of forever. She looked through other aisles, finding neatly stacked cans of paint. On the other hand, she was happy that she got a chance to spend some time with the blonde girl, and she really did enjoyed her company immensely, but Clarke didn’t spoke to her since they entered this shop, she was focused, zoning out everybody, Lexa too. She put two more cans into the cart and smiled to Lexa victoriously. Lexa smiled back, she was happy that this is coming to an end, and she would be able to speak with Clarke some more.

‘Now, we need to find the right shades of blue.’ Clarke mused and turned the corner towards said color, and Lexa stood there, perched on the railing of the cart, looking like she was about to set this place on fire. 

‘Lexa?’ Clarke popped her head up. ‘Are you coming?’ 

‘Apparently not today…” Lexa whispered.

‘Excuse me?’ Clarke asked.

‘I said, I’m right behind you.’ she wheeled the card behind Clarke and she really gave it her best to stay quiet, but she couldn’t stay silent.

‘Clarke, is this really necessary?’ she inquired and Clarke tilted her head.

‘You have, one, two, three, four…five, six. Six different colors of green. I mean shades. I mean, I don’t even know what the fuck I mean.’ Lexa said exasperated, and Clarke wanted to laugh, how adorable Lexa looked. Like a child in a shop when it’s mother is buying something that has no interest to him. She smiled again.

‘Are you bored? I’m I boring you to death?’

‘No, not you…This green is tho.’ Lexa motioned in the cart. ‘Green is green. Why do you need…’ she took one can from the cart.

‘Teal, or…’ she took another one.

‘Shamrock’ she took the third one.

‘Or Viridian green. What the fuck is Viridian green?’ she looked at Clarke expecting an answer and all she got was a honest laugh from the blonde.

‘You know, you are quite funny when you are agitated.’ Clarke nudged her. ‘I need all of this shades to create what you had in mind. I need them to create shadows, and shapes, and give it some kind of volumen.’ Lexa felt like a brat.

‘ I’m sorry, you are doing what you do best, and I’m here distracting you.’

‘Do you want to leave?’ Clarke asked fearfully. ‘I promise I will be faster.’

‘No, no… please, take your time. ‘ Lexa nodded. ‘Can we just…I don’t know, talk or something while you pick this…?’ hope in Lexa’s voice was tangible and Clarke nodded with a smile.

‘Of course we can. I thought you didn’t want to talk, so I kept my mouth shut all this time.’

‘Oh my god, no…Please, talk to me, I was dying here.’ Lexa begged.

‘Ok, so…what do you wanna talk about?’ Clarke asked, looking at different shades of blue now. Lexa bit her lower lip, questioning herself ,if she should ask Clarke this or not.

‘Um…Is your boyfriend ok with you spending all of this time in the gallery? I mean…I’m sure he’ll miss you.’

‘Naah…’ Clarke produced. ‘ I don’t have a boyfriend. I broke up with him like…three months ago. He was a pig. So I dumped his ass.’ Clarke was still roaming over all of the cans and Lexa cursed inwardly. She got her answer, Clarke was straight. But, maybe, by some sheer luck, she might be bi. So she tried another approach. 

‘And Octavia…? Are you two….” Clarke turned to Lexa with her forehead scrunched .

‘Eewww, no… She is like my sister. Plus, she is straight.’ Clarke answered, but that wasn’t enough for Lexa.

‘And, if she was gay, I would never be with Octavia…she is too intense for my taste.’

‘Your taste?’ Lexa’s ears perked up.

‘Yeah… I like my women calm on the outside, but capable to move mountains on the inside.’ Clarke crouched down to see something on a lower shelve, and Lexa behind her wanted to hug everybody that was in the store. Yes, YES. She is bisexual. Suddenly, Lexa started to love every shade of every color that Clarke had to pick so carefully and she would wheel her cart in this life and the next. 

‘And you?’ Clarke asked abruptly, landing Lexa’s floating mind back to the ground.

‘ What about me?’

‘What kind of girls do you like? Or was Costia the perfect specimen?’ Clarke asked and Lexa snorted at that.

‘Obviously not…Well, after everything, I think I like my girls fateful. Everything beyond that is a plus.’ she shrugged, but her tongue was itching, she wanted to say that Clarke was a perfect specimen.

‘Ouch…I’m sorry about that, again… Sometimes, I don’t know how, but sometimes when I’m with you, I totally forget about Costia and her…you know.’

‘Yeah. Well…I forget about it too.’ she smiled at Clarke. While they talked, Clarke had her pick with the blue color and she raised her hands triumphantly. 

‘I’m done with colors. Now I have to buy some brushes, that I don’t have at my home. If you endure that, I will buy you ice cream.’ she smirked, but Lexa took this like a blessing from the sky.

‘Oh my god, can I get that cheesecake one, with some nougat?’ she asked with her eyes wide.

‘You can get anything you want.’ Clarke laughed.

‘Fuck yeah.’ she pushed the cart down the aisle, passing Clarke ‘Where are those damn brushes?’

 

The master class was over, and after a round of lengthy applause, Octavia got up in a hurry, trying to avoid any other embarrassment she might get herself into. She took her things hastily, and walked towards the exit when she heard familiar voice calling her.

‘Octavia…Blake, please come here.’ the woman motioned to her to approach and Octavia did.

‘Look, I’m really sorry… I didn’t want to say any of it…’

‘So you don’t think I’m a genius?’ the woman asked, smirking slightly.

‘Of course I do, I just…See. Apparently I’m not able to converse with other people normally.’ Octavia shook her head.

‘Listen child… You are amazing. You have talent and I can see that you’ve progressed over the course of this year.’ Octavia raised her head smiling sheepishly.

‘You think so?’

‘I really do. And I just wanted to tell you that. Keep it up. You never know what might come your way in the near future.’ the woman winked at her, never taking her smirk off of her face. ‘Well be seeing each other soon Blake. Take care.’ And with that she turned around to talk with some other attendants that were also mesmerized by her.  
Octavia was grinning now, turning around and exiting the hall. This was the best day of her life after all. She received a compliment from her idol. Indra Birch thought she was talented and good. World was hers.

 

Clarke and Lexa sat on the bench, in the shade of massive tree that was giving them much needed shade to cool themselves down. It was hot again, and they just got their ice creams and decided to rest for a bit before returning to the gallery. Number of big bags was lying beside the bench, filled with art supplies to the brim, and they were heavy as fuck. It was Lexa’s turn to zone out and enjoy her ice cream, and Clarke watched her in a corner of her eye, smiling. Lexa would moan here and there, eliciting something in Clarke’s lower stomach.

‘You need to get a room.’ Clarke piped out after yet another moan.

‘I would if I could. This ice cream deserves to be treated like a queen. Ice Queen.’ She took another spoonful of delicious mix, shutting her eyes in the process. ‘ God fucking damn it, brain freeze.’ she held her forehead with her hand and Clarke chuckled. 

‘It serves you well.’ Clarke quipped.

‘Ice Queen, why did you betray me like this?’ Lexa was looking at the small container, looking utterly devastated. Clarke laughed even harder.

‘How are you still single?’ Clarke suddenly asked, because she couldn’t believe that nobody succeeded to snatch Lexa away, never letting her go.

‘Because nobody wants to.get.with.this.’ Lexa motioned all over her body, mockingly.

‘I hardly believe that.’ Clarke snorted.

‘Why are you?’ Lexa asked Clarke back.

‘I got hurt…now I’m overly cautious. In a nutshell. But, I broke up fairly recently, so…’

‘Well, you got you answer.’ Lexa took some ice cream.

‘But Costia was two years ago…Nothing since then?’ Clarke prodded.

‘No, nothing serious. I had flings, and all that jazz, but I never took it to the next level. Committing to someone.’ Clarke felt a tiny ping of jealousy, but she asked.

‘Do you feel you will be able to trust again?’ 

‘I can only hope so…I don’t want to be alone all my life. I just…I haven’t found anybody yet, who I can trust completely. Let myself go. I can’t be week like that again.’

‘So, when you enter your next relationship, you will be just surviving, not fully living. Cause you are scared??’ Clarke asked a little too harshly. Lexa just shrugged.

‘You are a dumbass.’ Clarke concluded.

‘Hey, watch your mouth missy…I’m still your boss.’ Lexa threatened Clarke with her spoon.

‘Oh, I’m sorry…’ Clarke said like she was understanding that she crossed her line. ‘You are a dumbass, boss.’ she deadpanned. Lexa almost choked on her ice-cream from laughing so suddenly.

‘Anyway, I think that relationship should be more than just surviving.’ Clarke added.

‘Maybe they should.’ Lexa looked at Clarkes profile, lowering her gaze down on her pink lips.

 

They finished their ice creams, and picked up heavy bags, heading towards the street. Lexa hailed a cab, there was no way they would carry all of this back to the gallery walking. They entered the car and Lexa said where they were going. At that moment, Clarke’s phone went off. After some struggle, she pried it from her backpack, answering it. It was her mom, and after a short conversation, she hung up.

‘I’m sorry, it was my mom.’

‘It’s ok Clarke.’ Lexa smilled. 

‘Is there any chance for me to get from work earlier tomorrow? My mom called me to come for a dinner, and well… they don’t live close.’ Clarke asked hoping that Lexa would understand.

‘Sure Clarke, it’s no problem. You can go whenever you need.’ Lexa nodded and smiled at the blonde who rested her hand on Lexa’s forearm.

‘Thanks’ Lex, you are the best.’ Clarke mused, and Lexa melted away under her touch and nickname blonde assigned to her.

 

It was late, and Lexa was sitting at her desk, her glasses lowered themselves, and she didn’t noticed it. She heard a knock at the door and when she looked up, she smiled seeing Clarke leaning on the door frame, her working clothes already being ruined by the paint.

‘Come in.’ she motioned with her hand.

‘I just wanted to say that I finished for today. I worked a little longer, to compensate for tomorrow.’ she approached Lexa and absentmindedly reached for her glasses, pushing them up her nose. She retracted her hand hesitatingly, realizing what she did.

‘I’m sorry, I just…’

‘Thank you Clarke. Sometimes I just forget about them.’ Lexa eased her mind, but she felt like she was falling fast and deep in this pit that Clarke’s presence created. At this rate, she will be gone by the end of these two weeks.

‘So, can I head home? I need to shower and sleep. My arms hurt.’ she rubbed her bicep to ease throbbing pain. She was out of practice, and keeping her arms up in the air for longer period of time so suddenly, was a surprise for her body.

‘Yes, you are free to go.’ Lexa nodded.

‘What about you? Shouldn’t you get some rest?’ 

‘Soon. I have some things to look over, and then I’ll be going too.’ Lexa reassured Clarke that had worry written all over her face. But she just nodded and waved to Lexa.

‘See ya tomorrow.’ 

 

‘Bye Clarke.’ Lexa waved back and with that blonde was out of her office. Her phone rang, and she answered it. Marcus was calling to apologize again for not being able to spent his day with her and Anya, and Lexa would be sulking if she didn’t get unplanned chance to spent good portion of her day with Clarke. She nodded and smiled at her dad, writing something in her notebook.

‘Yes, all right dad. We will be there.’ she smiled fondly. ‘Yes, all of us. We’ll get him out of work, don’t worry. Love you, Say hi to mom, and we will get to catch up some more tomorrow. I can’t wait. Bye.’ 

 

Hanging up her phone she shut down her lap top, feeling like she was done for today. She wanted to go home, take a long bath, daydream about Clarke and finally have some good night sleep. Hopefully.


	10. We'll drag bodies from a ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up :) sorry for the delay, life happened.
> 
>  
> 
> As always, tell me what you think in the comments ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

Door opened abruptly followed by disheveled Clarke who was running from the gallery to her apartment. She was carrying flowers in one hand whilst trying to keep her massive backpack on her shoulder with other. She left the flowers on the kitchen table, dropping her bag to the floor with a loud thud, kicking her black worn out vans into the corner. Octavia heard ruckus in the hallway and popped out of her room. 

‘You finally dragged your ass home. We are going to be late… ‘ she mused and Clarke looked at her with annoyance.

‘I’ll be quick…We’ll get there on time.’ she almost believed herself and this lie she produced.

‘Lexa didn’t let you home earlier??’ Octavia prodded.

‘Actually she did…I was just caught up with the work, I forgot what time it is…’ Clarke said while she strutted to her room, taking her clothes in the process. ‘I’ll be out of the shower in a minute…Is Raven coming?’ she shouted from her room.

‘Off course she is, you know she got hots for your mom. She wouldn’t miss it.’ Octavia shouted back, smirking slightly.

‘Don’t remind me, please.’ Clarke stood at the doorframe of her room. ‘Call her and tell her we will be at hers in about 20 minutes.’ 

‘No need. She’ll drive us there. We figured we will get late, so why make it even easier for Abby to reprimand you. With Raven behind the wheel, we will get there almost on time. Almost, being the key word.’ Octavia looked at Clarke pointedly like she was telling her that she needs to get her ass moving.

‘I love you. Both of you.’ Clarke piped and went back to her room.

‘Yeah, yeah….hurry the fuck up, she’ll be here in 10 min. And Raven doesn’t wait, you know that.’ Octavia shouted again.

‘I know…’ came muffled shout from Clarke followed by water in her shower.

After long 15 minutes later, three missed calls from Raven and one threating message, they were all seated in Raven’s jeep, on their way to Griffin household. Raven looked at Clarke from time to time in the rearview mirror, and smiled to herself. Her friend looked good. Happier. Still all over the fucking place, but much more centered. 

‘You look good princess.’ Raven complimented Clarke, and Clarke turned over to Raven smiling shyly. 

‘I feel good. I can finally say that I’m over that bastard. I moved on.’

‘On to?’ Raven asked.

‘No one…’ Clarke shrugged it off.

‘Pssshhht…Bullshit. You have heart eyes for Lexa, and for the love of me, I can’t get why.’ Octavia piped from the front passenger seat. 

‘Do you now?’ Raven raised her eyebrows. ‘I got the feeling you liked her, but not like this.’

‘It’s not like that.’ Clarke tried to defend.

‘Like I said…Bullshit. You are so whipped, it’s painful to watch you sometimes.’ Octavia made her point.

‘First of all, I’m not whipped…’

‘Bullsh…’

‘SAY BULLSHIT ONE MORE TIME OCTAVIA!’ Clarke shouted and two girls in the front laughed.

‘Why are you trying to fight it Clarke?’ Raven asked. ‘It’s perfectly ok to like someone.’

‘Not if it’s Lexa…’ Octavia almost whispered to herself.

‘Jesus Christ Octavia, I swear to god, karma is so going to bite your self-righteous ass, and soon, and so help me god, I’m going to stand there and laugh.’ Clarke said exasperatedly. 

‘Yeah, O…What is it with you and Lexa? Why you hatin’??’ Raven questioned.

‘Yeah O, why you hatin’??’ Clarke repeated like a parrot, looking at Octavia from the rear seat. 

‘Hey, I don’t need you ganging up on me. I just…have a weird feeling when she is around. Or when Clarke is around her. That’s all.’ 

‘I’d like to meet her. Size her up. Ask couple of questions. Scare her a little. The usual.’ Raven said amusedly. 

‘Well, good thing is that you won’t meet her any time soon, so…’ Clarke commented.

‘I can always come to the gallery.’ Raven shrugged. 

‘Oh yeah, let’s do that. Both of us, she will be shitting her pants.’ Octavia had amused smile on her face. 

‘Karma O, believe in it.’ Clarke raised her voice.

‘Yeah, yeah…she’s got nothing on me.’ Octavia said with conviction.

They dropped the subject and talked about something else for the rest of the trip. Only, Clarke couldn’t shake this feeling that made her palms sweaty and her nerves alert. She could sense something is going to happen, but she couldn’t pinpoint what. 

 

 

‘If he doesn’t come out in the next ten seconds, we are leaving.’ Anya impatiently tapped her fingers on a steering wheel, looking at the entrance of the Polis, waiting for Lincoln to come out.

‘He’ll be here. You know him.’ Lexa smiled and shook her head. 

‘I don’t care, he has helpers there, right? They could manage one evening without him.’

‘It’s su chefs Anya, not helpers. He is not Santa.’

‘Damn right he is not, because he is always late.’ Anya piped and spotted Lincoln. 

He got into the car, winded and slightly sweaty. He greeted Lexa and when he went on to greet Anya he saw her annoyed face in the mirror and stopped himself. Better safe than sorry.

‘You are late.’ Anya commented and started the car, getting on the street. 

‘I’m sorry. I just had to tell them what to do…’ he looked apologetic.

‘It’s fine Linc.’ Lexa waived him.

‘Yeah well, when Indra starts to drill our asses, I’m throwing you under the buss.’

‘I wouldn’t expect anything less than that from you.’ Lincoln concluded.

‘I’ll play some music.’ Lexa reached towards the radio.

‘Don’t you fucking dare.’ 

 

 

They arrived almost on time. If the time was 15 minutes later than the one that her mother told her. Clarke got out of the car first, running towards Jake who waited for her with open arms and big smile on the porch. 

‘Dad…’ she ran into his embrace and was overwhelmed by his smell. She loved how he never changed his cologne, making this scent recognizably his. He hugged her tightly and kissed her on the head.

‘Oh, I missed you kid. It’s like you live on the other side of the country.’ he looked at her like a wounded puppy. 

‘Dad, it’s been two weeks, and you are more than welcome to come and visit me.’ she smiled at him.

‘I know, but still…I miss my girl.’ Octavia and Raven came too, hugging Jake. ‘Ok girls, Abby is in the kitchen, and I’m not sure if she is mad or not.’ He motioned for them to come in.

‘One way to find out…’ Clarke quipped, mustering all of her strength for this round of Abby’s schooling. Raven went in first, of course, Octavia and Clarke behind her.

‘Abbs, have you finally decided to dump ol Jake and give me a chance? Raven went into the kitchen stretching her arms to hug Abby.

‘Raven…’ Jake and Clarke whined in unison and Octavia just laughed.

‘Still not, but let me tell you, if he continues to let Clarke have it easy like this, I’ll reconsider your offer. ‘ Abby hugged Raven back looking at Clarke pointedly. 

‘That’s all I’m asking.’ Raven concluded. 

‘Octavia, Aurora called me and she said that you don’t help your brother enough with the wedding.’ Abby hugged Octavia who just rolled her eyes.

‘Bellamy asked me not to. He and John got it. Aurora needs to get that.’ Octavia was pissed at her mother for spreading this kind of false news.

‘Call her.’ Abby ordered.

‘I will ,I will…’ Octavia shrugged it off. Her mother called her almost every day, and Octavia had the same discussion with her, almost every day. 

‘Clarke Elizabeth Griffin…’ Abby full named her, and Clarke knew that storm was coming.

‘Mother Abigail.’ she stood in front of her, with her hands clasped behind her back. Jake smirked in the corner of the kitchen, watching what is going to happen next. He had amazing wife and wonderful daughter, but both of them were stubborn to no end, and when they clashed, sparks flew. 

‘I see that old habits die hard.’ Abby eyed Clarke. ‘Habit of never looking at the clock.’

‘That habit died long ago mother. I was at work.’ Clarke retorted. ‘ I was working.’

‘What?’ Abby recoiled and Jake perked up. ‘You have a job?’

‘Yes mom…’ Clarke dropped the act. ‘I’m working at the gallery. I’m painting a mural.’ she smiled.

‘Clarke, honey, why didn’t you tell us??’ Abby hugged her daughter and looked at her. Jake came to them looking at Clarke too, expecting some kind of an explanation.

‘It’s all new, today was mu second day officially. I just wanted to be sure that everything is going ok before I told you. So yes mom, we are late because I was working. So, I’m sorry, but this time, my laziness is not the reason why I’m late.’ Clarke explained. Her mother had the biggest smile on her face and her dad was on the verge of crying it seemed. 

‘Clarke, I’m so happy.’ Abby hugged her again. ‘But still sweetie…you shouldn’t be late. It’s bad manners.’ Clarke rolled her eyes and nodded.

‘Where are the guests?’ Raven asked.

‘They will be here soon. Their daughters are coming too.’ 

‘So, technically we are not late?’ Clarke asked full of hope and that hope was wiped away with one stern look from Abby.

‘Fine, do you need some help?’ Clarke asked her mom.

‘No, you girls can go and chill on the patio in the back, I will call you when they come.’

‘Chill? Damn Abby, that lingo tho…’ Raven piped and got an apple thrown into her direction. She caught it swiftly and laughed, following Clarke and Octavia outside. Jake joined them for a quick catch up before dinner.

Lexa’s phone buzzed and she answered. Marcus was calling to see how far they were and Anya told her that they are almost there. She hung up and scrunched her face.

‘Dad told me he will wait for us on the corner of the street.’ Lexa looked at Anya that seemed like she wasn’t surprised by the news. ‘You know where this house is?’

‘Yes I do.’

‘So why are they waiting for us on the street?’ Lexa prodded and Anya just shrugged. She knew why. Because they were probably working something in their new house. If they planned to keep this a secret, her parents must get a grip. Lexa is not dumb. 

‘There they are…’ Lexa informed Anya who saw them standing on the curb. She pulled up and Marcus and Indra got inside. It was tight on the back seat with Lincoln taking up so much space, but they managed to cram inside. 

‘Hi mom, dad….Why are you here?’ Lexa asked.

‘We were taking a walk. It’s a nice neighborhood.’ Indra lied instantly and Lexa narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything.

They pulled up in front of the Griffin house and got out. Abby saw them from the kitchen window and called girls to come inside. Clarke was first that got up and went inside, Octavia and Raven were involved in some serious conversation with Jake. Well, it was serious for them, Clarke just wanted to run away. She really didn’t care about new episode of Fargo. As she entered the house, she heard voices so she plastered her signature smile. Time to be nice and survive this dinner somehow. When she turned the corner she saw two figures in the hallway, and she was hit with familiarity of their faces. They turned around and upon seeing her smiled widely. At that moment, light bulb in Clarkes head went off. This can’t be true. They are…

‘Hello…You must be Clarke.’ Marcus approached first and reached out his hand for a handshake, but Clarke was speechless. ‘Your parents told us so much about you.’ 

‘Yeah,I…’

‘I’m Marcus, and this is my wife Indra.’ This just can’t be true.

“Hi Clarke…Nice to meet you finally.’ Indra also shook Clarke’s hand. She could hear familiar voice from the hallway, but second later that voice was attached to the face. The most beautiful face she ever saw. Lexa had the biggest smile that faltered down in an instant upon seeing Clarke wide-eyed.

‘Clarke?’ Lexa muttered. 

‘Lexa…’

‘You know each other?’ Marcus asked not really knowing what’s going on. Anya and Lincoln followed Lexa into the living room sensing that something was off.

‘We….’ Clarke started but was quickly stopped by the laughter that was coming from Raven and Octavia, Jake behind them shaking his head. When she saw group of people in the living room, Raven halted in her steps, Octavia backing up behind her.

‘Raven what the fuck…’ Octavia snapped and looked at the bunch.

‘Anya?’ Raven questioned with her brows raised looking at now pale girl that stood behind bewildered Lexa.

‘Raven…’ 

‘Lincoln.’ Octavia craned her neck so she could see tall guy in the back and then registering another figure that made her speechless. 

‘Hi Octavia…’ Lincoln smiled awkwardly not knowing what is going on.

‘Mrs. Birch!!!’ Octavia almost shouted.

‘Can somebody tell me what is going on?’ Abby asked but nobody gave her an answer.

‘Blake…’ Indra recognized the girl from her master class. ‘Marcus, this is the girl that proposed to me.’

‘What???’ Lexa almost shouted while Marcus laughed.

‘What the hell Octavia?’ Clarke turned around and raised her brows.

‘What the hell is she doing here?’ Octavia pointed towards Lexa.

‘Octavia!!!’ Abby was quick to reprimand mouthy girl.

‘I came here with my parents.’ Lexa defended motioning to Marcus and Indra.

‘INDRA BIRCH IS YOU MOTHER???’ Octavia shouted. Lexa just nodded.

‘And Lincoln is her brother.’ Clarke saw the opportunity to make Octavia bit more nauseated. 

‘What the fuck??’ Octavia shouted again.

‘Octavia Blake, watch your mouth.’ Abby tried again but to no avail.

‘Wait, how do you know Raven?’ Clarke asked Anya, and she got pale all over again.

‘Anya is my boss, I’m her assistant.’ Raven explained.

‘Uuuhhh…’ Clarke and Lexa nodded in unison smirking slightly. Octavia still stood like she was frozen. Indra and Lincoln are somehow connected to Lexa. The Lexa.

‘Is this the real life?’ Octavia whispered to Raven who was still standing in front of her. Raven just nodded. Awkward silence was palpable, no one knew really what was going on, but they had whole dinner to find out.

‘All right guys…I don’t know what is going on, but I’m Jake.’ He approached Lexa and shook her hand, then Anya’s and Lincolns. ‘ Welcome to our home.’ 

 

 

Every cling of plates and forks and knifes was defining. They were able to hear person next to them chew how silent the dining room was. Everybody eyed one another, but didn’t dare to speak. Octavia looked most shocked out of all of them. Raven was now eyeing Anya through her lashes, urging her to say something, but Anya wouldn’t budge. She sipped on her water looking at Raven, slightly shaking her head. Lincoln took it upon himself to be the one who would break this most awkward silence in his life.

‘Mrs. Griffin, this is delicious.’ He complimented Abby’s dish and she just smiled and nodded. She didn’t know what to say.

‘That’s a huge compliment mom, Lincoln is a chef in a restaurant with Michelin star.’ Clarke helped him and Lincoln had gratitude written all over his face.

‘Thank you Lincoln…But now I feel like everything here is not up to your standards.’ Abby responded feeling little liberated now that she knew that she wasn’t deaf. They were just deadly silent moments before.

‘Oh trust me Mrs. Griff…’

‘Lincoln, please call me Abby. Mrs. Griffin is mouthful as it is.’ she patted him on the arm and he just smiled.

‘So…’ Jake begun. ‘How do you two know each other?’ eyeing Clarke and Lexa.

‘Lexa Is my boss. I work at her gallery.’ Clarke responded.

‘Really?? That is amazing.’ Abby smiled to Lexa who was stiff as a plank. 

‘Clarke is beyond talented. I just had to hire her.’ 

‘Yeah, you just HAD to…’ Octavia muttered and received quite a hit to her shin by Clarke. ‘Ouch, you son of a bi…’

‘NOW, now…we heard that Anya and Raven work together.’ Jake tried a different approach. ‘What do you think about our little spacewalker here Anya?’ Jake asked smiling eliciting emberacing blush on Ravens face.

‘She is amazing. Smart, talented, hard working…’

‘I’d say.’ Lexa whispered and second later felt hardest pinch on her leg. She jerked abruptly, making the table wobble, all that was on it moved and clanged. Indra eyed two girls with her stern look, like she was going to whoop their asses later for not having any table manners. 

‘Mrs. Birch, I would love to hear about Octavia’s proposal.’ Clarke smiled to Indra trying not pay attention to Octavia that was seated next to her. Lexa looked like she was furiated, and Anya smirked. Lincoln just looked at Octavia like he couldn’t believe that this girl, that was on his mind since that dinner really did something like that.

‘Oh, well…Octavia was just trying to compliment me, and amongst all of the praises she told me that she likes gay people and that she would marry me, even though she is straight.’ Indra spoke, and Abby looked at Octavia incredulously with her fork midair. Marcus laughed again, he really had a blast, even though everybody was so uncomfortable. Marcus being Marcus. 

‘I didn’t mean it like that, I just…’ Octavia tried to explain herself.

‘It was a mishap. Let’s just leave it at that.’ Indra spoke, and the subject was dropped much to Octavia’s relief. Clarke couldn’t let silence seep in again, so she spoke.

‘How long do you know my parents?’ she asked Marcus and Indra.

‘We go way back, even before you were born. Abby and I are friends from college. But, we separated after, and we never lived close enough to see each other more than couple of times a year. If we are lucky’ Marcus answered Clarke, and Abby just nodded.

‘So, Anya…Lexa…do you have special someone in your life?’ Jake asked abruptly and Anya choked on her water, while Lexa sneaked a glance towards Clarke. Raven was looking at Anya, sweating bullets. They never spoke about going steady, damn they were only on one official date.

‘Um…Not yet. But soon, I hope.’ Anya said and Raven smirked knowingly.

‘And you Lexa?’ Jake prodded further. 

‘Dad, please…’ Clarke tried to put an end to this conversation and save Lexa.

‘No, still nothing.’ Lexa answered.

‘She is shielding herself to much if you ask me.’ Indra spoke. ‘She got burned pretty badly and since then she wouldn’t let anyone too close.’

‘Mom, that’s not….’ 

‘That’s no way of living child, and you know that.’ 

‘Her girlfriend cheated on her. Broke her down completely.’ Marcus tried to explain better to Abby and Marcus and Clarke could see how uncomfortable Lexa was at this moment.

‘Can we stop talking ab…’ Clarke tried again to end this, but Abby cut her.

‘I can get that….Clarke dumped that low life recently, thank god…he was not good match for her.’ Abby said.

‘At least that bastard never tried to cheat on her…’ Jake said and Raven snorted without realizing it. Well, she realized it, bit too late. Clarke looked at her with narrowed eyes and Octavia looked like all blood was drained from her face, shaking her head slowly.

‘What was that?’ Clarke asked.

‘Khm…nothing, I just took a piece of dried chicken.’ Raven tried to shake it off.

‘Raven, don’t blame the chicken, it’s perfectly cooked.’ Abby piped and Lincoln just nodded vigorously. 

‘Raven..’ Clarke called her with warning undertone to it.

‘Clarke, really it’s nothing, it’s stupid…’

‘Raven, talk. Now.’ 

‘I’d rather not.’ Raven shook her head and Octavia just face palmed.

‘Finn cheated on you Clarke.’ Octavia said eventually.

‘WHAT?’ Jake shouted, and Clarke just looked at Octavia, silently asking her is this true. Octavia nodded, knowing that they would have most unpleasant conversation later on. She kept this secret from Clarke for far too long, and Clarke might not forgive her or Raven. Clarke stood up abruptly, and Raven opened her mouth to say something, but Clarke stopped her with swift hand motion.

‘Save it Raven.’ with that she exited the room and house, heading to their backyard for some needed air. Lexa stood shortly after, receiving a quick nod from Abby that only she saw. 

 

 

She stepped outside looking for Clarke. Their backyard was somewhat vast and filled with trees, and she saw Clarke leaning against one. She walked towards her slowly, gauging Clarke’s state. Girl was calm, looking at the sky, her legs bended and her hands were fiddling with some flower she picked up from the ground.  
‘Hey Commander…’ Clarke said without looking back, feeling that Lexa was the one behind her. Lexa snorted and shook her head. She sat next to Clarke, wrapping her knees with her arms. She looked at the blonde girl and she didn’t look bad.

‘How are you?’

‘Um, good… I was just surprised , you know…’ Clarke answered.

‘I can imagine…’ Lexa exhaled. ‘Can you believe this night?’

‘Yeah, what the actual fuck?’ Clarke asked and they both laughed. ‘It seems somehow that it was meant for us to meet. One way or another.’ 

‘Yeah, it seems so…’ Lexa nodded and they stayed silent for some time. Clarke was looking at the sky again, and she felt warm inside. This night is batshit crazy, but here she was, sitting on a warm grass, looking at the summer sky, enveloped by Lexa’s scent, that one that made her almost go crazy.

‘You wanna go inside?’ Lexa asked.

‘Not yet…I just…want to sit here some more. But, you can go in if you…’

‘I want to sit here with you. I like it here with you.’ Lexa cut Clarke off looking her in the eyes that were again so blue and warm.

‘Me too.’ Clarke almost whispered and Lexa just smiled at her. Lexa now leaned to the same tree as Clarke, making their shoulders touching, looking up at the sky and first visible stars.

‘If I tell you why they call me Commander, promise me you won’t laugh or make fun of me.’ Lexa suddenly asked and Clarke perked up looking at Lexa with wide eyes.

‘Cross my heart.’ Clarke raised one hand swearing that she would do no such thing.

‘All right…’ Lexa took a deep breath. ‘I can’t believe I’m telling you this, it’s so stupid…’

‘Lexa, don’t you dare back on me now. Talk!’ she almost ordered.

‘No, I won’t…So, as I was adopted by Marcus and Indra, I came to their house and Anya. Fuck, she hated me back then. I just know it. She would never play with me, and if I asked her something she would just walk away from me like I didn’t even existed. She was eight then, and I was four, so I get it. I wasn’t her company, plus I was this new shiny toy that would took all of her parents love.’

‘When I turned six and started my preschool, we had this Mother/daughter day. We were told that we were excused from school one day in the week, and we had to spend that day with our mother. Going with her on her job, experiencing something new, and then tell that story to the class. I knew that my dad was a doctor, I always played with his stethoscope. But, I never fully understood what my mother was doing. I knew it was something about music and stuff like that, but I never saw her playing something other than piano we had in our house. And again, I knew she wasn’t a pianist.’

‘Anyway, I asked her one day to take me with her. I wanted to see what she was doing. She said it’s fine and that I was going to get bored, but I really wanted to go so she took me and Anya one day to her rehearsal. I remember that the hall looked so much bigger than now, the stage was massive, filled with chairs and instruments, waiting for the musicians to pick them up and create magic. She told Anya and I to sit in the front row and be quiet. Anya was so over it, she couldn’t stand me at that point, but she was stuck with me. People started walking in, taking their seats, greeting my mother, laughing and chatting. All of a sudden I was hearing this cacophony of sounds, each of them trying to tune their instrument. After some time everything calmed down and they looked at my mother. She stood in front of them, small table in front of her with some papers. She pulled this wand, it was slim and long and at that point I started to believe that my mother was some kind of wizard. She turned around and looked at Anya and me, smiled fondly and turned back. She tapped with her wand couple of times on the desk and every person took their instrument and positioned themselves, looking at my mother. She told them ‘Just like we rehearsed it. It’s for my angels.’…’ 

Clarke didn’t even know why, but her eyes were filled with unshed tears listening to Lexa’s story. During this time she got even closer to Lexa, almost leaning on her, feeling every time when Lexa moved herself during this storytelling, feeling her warm breath on her face when Lexa turned over to her.

‘My mother raised her arms, and I will never forget that moment of silence before magic happened. Time stood still. She waived her arms slowly and music started. I was just a child, I truly believed my mother was casting some spell. It was wonderful. They played Feed the birds from Mary Poppins. It was my favorite movie, it still is. And that song was the saddest song I ever heard but I loved it so much.’ 

Clarke could see goose bumps on Lexa’s arms.

‘ I remember that Anya squeezed my hand so tightly then, she couldn’t believe it too. We were mesmerized. They played effortlessly, music was palpable, and I waited for Mary Poppins to come out at any moment, flying with her umbrella, but that shit never happened. But, it was still amazing experience. I was so hyped up, I just knew that I wanted to do that when I grow up. Create magic.’

Clarke couldn’t dare stop Lexa. She could listen to her talk forever.

‘So, when the day came, my mom came to school with me and I told the story how my mother was wizard, she had a wand and all, and she created music and this and that. And I concluded my story with this statement….Ready?’ she turned over to Clarke and she just laughed at Lexa, nodding.

‘When I grow up, I want to be Commander just like my mom.’ Lexa concluded and Clarke burst laughing leaning more on Lexa, her head against other girls shoulder.

‘You said you wouldn’t laugh.’ Lexa said with mock hurt in her voice.

‘I’m sorry, it’s just adorable. You are adorable.’ 

‘Yeah well…in my child’s mind the difference between commander and conductor was non existent.’ she shook her head slightly.

‘It’s cute, I love it.’ Clarke responded.

‘It’s stupid.’

‘It’s endearing and sweet.’ 

‘It’s…’

‘Shut up Lexa.’ Clarke told her and Lexa halted. They were so close, their noses almost touching, one body leaning to another. 

‘I’m glad you dumped him’ Lexa whispered.

‘Best decision of my life ’ Clarke whispered back.

‘I’ll say. He didn’t deserve you. And you deserve the world Clarke.’

‘So do you Lexa…’

 

They stared at each other, silently, leaning even closer to one another. They were so close, they could feel each other’s warm breath lingering on their lips, inches apart, but it felt like miles. Lexa was struck with bravery she never felt before and leaned in fully, connecting her lips with Clarke’s. They were so soft and warm, they felt like silk, and Lexa was immediately spell bound. Now, when she tasted those lips, she couldn’t even imagine kissing someone else. Ever really. She started to back up, feeling suddenly guilty, like she took advantage on Clarke. She just heard something that was so utterly bad, and Lexa’s alarm went off. After all, she didn’t want to be a rebound girl. But as she broke the kiss, Clarke pulled her again, her hand on Lexa’s neck. This kiss was deeper, like everything they wanted to do for so long was finally allowed, like barriers didn’t exist. Lexa’s hand found it’s way behind Clarke’s back, pulling her even closer if it’s possible, their bodies in really awkward position, but they somehow managed to make it feel like most comfortable. Clarke broke the kiss for a second to tilt her head and give herself much more space to kiss Lexa, brushing her nose against Lexa’s in the process. That elicited smallest smiles on Lexa’s face, but she welcomed Clarke’s lips again with much more eagerness and want then before. Her fears were lost for this moment, feeling nothing but weightlessness and pure joy. Clarke broke the kiss again to get some air, leaning her forehead to Lexa’s, and Lexa almost whimpered at the loss of touch. Blue and green met, and in that look they could feel undeniable pull and want that build up between them in this short amount of time they knew each other.

‘God, I wanted to do that since I saw you…’ Clarke whispered.

‘You and I both.’ Lexa whispered back. ‘But this is not right…not now. You are hurt and I took ad…’

‘Lexa…’ Clarke cut her off. ‘If you don’t kiss me again, I’ll quit.’ she threatened with a small smile on her face. Lexa smiled back.

‘I promise. But not here, not now.’ Lexa explained and Clarke understood. She got up and reached for Lexa hand, helping her get up. She hold onto her hand bit longer, looking at Lexa.

‘If you are laying to me, tell me.’

‘I’m not.’ Lexa smiled again and squeezed Clarke’s hand. 

 

They headed back to the house, where Raven and Octavia had few mild mental breakdowns waiting for Clarke to come back and talk to them. 

‘Lexa, can I get back to the city with you?’ she asked before they went into the house.

‘I take it you are angry with Octavia and Raven…Sure you can Clarke, but you will have to talk to them eventually.’ Lexa responded.

‘I ain’t even mad. I know why they haven’t told me, and that’s sweet, but still…They should have told me. You know what I mean?’ Clarke scrunched up her nose and Lexa smiled nodding.

‘I’ll talk to them, but I’m going to let them roast tonight.’ she winked and got back to the house. 

She saw everybody in the living room, Anya and Lincoln standing by the door talking, waiting for Lexa to see what the next move is. When Lexa got in. walking behind Clarke, she nodded once to Anya and other girl knew what that meant. They are leaving. Now.

‘Mom, dad, I’m gonna go now. Lexa was so kind to offer me ride back.’ She looked pointedly to Octavia. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow…You understand?’ she hugged her father and he smiled and nodded.

‘I’m going to stomp on him.’ he whispered in her ear and Clarke just chuckled, shaking her head. She hugged her mother, effectively avoiding Raven’s pleading look.

 

After they bid their goodbyes, and got into the car, now Lincoln sitting in the front, leaving Clarke and Lexa in the back, Anya started the car and got onto the road, pushing the button on the radio, letting music fill the car. They were driving in silence, except for the radio, no one said a word. Anya looked at two girls in the back seat, each one on its side with hands touching in the middle of the seat. At some point, Lexa took Clarke’s hand in hers, and Clarke smiled, never looking back at Lexa. She could just hope that Lexa felt same rush and tingles every time they touched. Magic went out of the window when Anya opened her mouth.

 

‘Well…no sex for me tonight.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plus, if there is anyone here from Prague,by any chance, hit me up, I got some questions ;))


	11. Every color illuminates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a monstrous delay, but here it is...new chapter :)
> 
>  
> 
> I had to include something that is, as of recently my new obsession and I hope you will like it :)

Lexa strolled down the street, heading to the gallery, wishing that her earliness will give her some time to muster up some courage and ask Clarke on a date. They haven’t spoken since that dinner and that night all together, leaving Lexa jittery and quite nervous. She didn’t want to call and possibly disturb Clarke yesterday, since the girl could use some break. So, she hoped that today is the perfect day to ask Clarke out. She would be lying to herself if she said that she wasn’t excited. Yes, the timing was awful, place not so great, circumstances less than ideal, but it happened. That kiss happened, and Lexa could only think about that kiss yesterday, no matter what she tried to do or accomplish. She also haven’t heard anything from Anya, but she wanted to do things one at the time. First, was Clarke.

Lexa was not herself this morning, and she knew that. She woke up filled with anxious feelings that were still tumbling inside of her stomach, making her hands all clammy every time she thought about Clarke and what happened between them, but also, she would have this biggest goofy smile too. 

She entered the gallery, expecting to find it vacant, since she came way earlier than Ontari would usually come. But, she wasn’t the first one that came here. She saw Clarke sitting on the floor in front of the almost half painted wall, looking at it, her head slightly tilted to the side. She was propped up on her hands, and her legs were splayed while she shook gently her left foot. Lexa closed the door as silently as she could, not to scare Clarke, but then she saw that Clarke was listening to music, and the blonde was oblivious of Lexa’s presence. And Lexa wanted to take advantage of that. She leaned on the door and watched Clarke mouthing silently the words of the song that was currently on, squinting her eyes while looking at the wall, like she was making a mental note what she should change, improve or dismiss, in order to make this mural as beautiful as she could. She started tracing abstract patterns in the air, her hand slowly moved, her fingers even though in the air, molded around invisible objects, like they were touching texture that was rugged and bold. Lexa was mesmerized. She had a dopy smile on her face, just by watching Clarke…existing. And she kissed her. Her smile got dopier when memory of Clarke’s luscious lips crossed her mind, and she knew that this was border lining with stalker behavior. So she tried to find a way how to make herself visible to Clarke without scaring her. She remembered this thing her and Anya did when they were young. She took out her notebook, wrote something quickly, tore the paper quietly and put her notebook back in her bag. She really hoped that her memory didn’t betray her, and she tried to make a paper plane. And indeed, she made it without thinking, it was like a muscle memory, and she was happy about it. She took a couple of tentative steps toward Clarke, releasing the paper plane that landed perfectly next to Clarke. 

 

Clarke was really deep in thoughts about this mural when she saw something falling next to her with the corner of her eye. She smiled when she saw it was plane, and she had a pretty good idea who made it. So without turning around, she opened it, and read a small note written with most beautiful handwriting she ever saw. Compared to this, her handwriting was one of uneducated woman, or of a five year old child. The note said: 

 

Clarke,  
This was the safest way to let you know that I’m here, without scaring you.  
Lexa

 

Clarke grinned like a child, shaking her head slightly. She still didn’t turn around, taking a pen from her working overalls, writing something on a back of it. But, she didn’t know how to make a paper plane, and she already folded it so it lost its previous shape, and she couldn’t retrace it. She sighted and scrunched it into a ball, and threw it lightly over her head back to Lexa, that caught it effortlessly. Lexa opened now wrinkly paper and read Clarke’s message.

 

Lexa,  
You are a dork.  
Clarke

 

She pouted immediately and looked at Clarke that was now laughing, still sitting on the floor gauging Lexa’s reaction.

‘I am not.’ Lexa spoke finally, still pouting adorably. 

‘You know you are.’ Clarke said still chuckling slightly.

‘It serves me well, and all I wanted to do is being considerable.’ Lexa said with slight ping, like she was offended, but even she knew…Clarke could call her whatever she wanted, she would object. That much.

‘Oh, come on cry baby, I was joking.’ 

‘Yeah, yeah…’ Lexa walked over to Clarke and looked at the wall. ‘It’s coming along nicely. You are doing it much faster than I expected.’ she looked down at Clarke. 

‘Almost like you want to get rid of us.’ she winked, but Clarke rolled her eyes and grunted, throwing her hand in the air, silently asking Lexa to help her get up. Lexa pulled her, and once Clarke was up, she took a step closer to Lexa, getting dangerously close to her. Lexa’s breath hitched with sudden proximity, and she could smell that bewitching scent that followed Clarke everywhere, making her lightheaded. Clarke saw behind Lexa that Ontari was about to enter the gallery and cut her alone time with Lexa, so she got even closer.

‘You don’t know what you are talking about.’ Clarke said and quickly, before Lexa could even respond, kissed her briefly, leaving Lexa stunned and surprised pleasantly. Door opened and Ontari walked in, smiling upon seeing Lexa here so early. 

‘Hi Lexa.’ she chirped but Lexa was still in that sudden kiss, that she didn’t even hear Ontari.

‘Hey Ontari, what’s up?’ Clarke greeted her, smiling, but not because she was that happy seeing the girl, but because she could see how stunned Lexa looked.

‘Oh, hey Clarke…You are early too.’ Ontari’s smile faltered a bit. While she put her bag and some papers on her desk, Clarke turned to Lexa.

‘Commander, snap out of it.’ she said with a slight smirk on her face and Lexa blinked couple of times.

‘I hate you.’ Lexa whispered, and Clarke laughed.

‘No, you love me.’

Clarke was pale. She used this come back with Octavia and Raven, and it just stuck with her, but now, this was her ticket for a fast train that was going straight to embarrassment town. She was pale but at the same time, her cheeks were burning. Lexa’s smirk didn’t help at all, because that was a clear sign that she heard her, loud and clear.

‘I mean…’ Clarke wanted to get out of this situation somehow, but Lexa wouldn’t let her.

‘Ontari, please come to my office, there are some prospects that needs to be sorted and distributed.’ Lexa cut off Clarke, still smirking, seeing the girl in front of her almost dissolving.

‘Sure Lexa…’ Ontari grabbed her pen and notebook and was behind Lexa in seconds, effectively putting an end to this conversation.

‘Clarke…’ Lexa dragged her name making it sound so differently… better. 

‘If you need me, you know where I’ll be.’ and with that she turned around, ascending the stairs with Ontari at her heel, leaving Clarke to simmer in her own embracement. 

 

All Clarke could do now is to emerge herself into painting, canceling the world around her, and that wasn’t an easy task when Gustus and Luna showed up fifteen minutes later, all chatty and friendly. After quick conversation with them, she put her earphones on again trying to muffle the sound of saw and hammering that was going on. 

Each day, gallery started to form its final shape and Clarke couldn’t help herself imagining her work being displayed here. Yes, her mural would be her constant piece here, and people will know about her, and for that, she was eternally grateful to Lexa. But still…It would have been nice to see canvases that she transformed into something indescribable with colors and shapes, her emotions and love, sometimes hate. Opening was approaching, and she was almost positive she would finish on time, leaving enough time for it to settle and dry, while the rest of the gallery is being filled with art pieces that Lexa spent way too much time and energy collecting for this opening day.

As brunette crossed her mind she internally cringed at the memory from this morning. What an idiot she turned out to be. On the other side, she kind of liked how Lexa didn’t seem scared or unpleasantly surprised with her mistake. She seemed light and playful and that brought a big smile on Clarke’s face.

 

 

‘What’s so funny?’ Clarke almost jumped out of her skin when she heard soft, almost whisper like question that Lexa asked her. She stood behind Clarke, leaning in, and she was so silent and stealth while she approached, Clarke never saw her coming. 

‘Could you not do that…Fuck, I died a little inside.’ Clarke said tuning around seeing Lexa smiling at her with tilted head.

‘I’m sorry…But you were so engulfed in your own world, I had to take advantage of it.’ Lexa said, chuckling along much to blonde’s dismay. 

‘Oh, ha ha, funny…’ Clarke rolled her eyes but smirked a little.

‘Let me make it up to you.’ and at that Clarke perked up. She could see that in a split second Lexa’s face went from playful to nervous and anxious.

‘How?’ Clarke asked, prompting Lexa to say what she wanted. 

‘I…I would like, if you would be open to the idea, to take you…Invite you, for a meal and … if you have some spare time…’ she stopped and shut her eyes, taking a deep breath. ‘Clarke, would you like to go on a date with me?’ 

Clarke smiled widely, seeing Lexa, always so professional and stoic unraveling like this in front of her just by having to ask her that question. Lexa was so fucking cute and Clarke would have kissed her again just to ease her nerves, but the gallery was full of workers. She nodded, still smiling. 

‘ I would love to go on a date with you Lexa.’ and after hearing Clarke’s answer, Lexa’s face beamed. She smiled widely, nodding back, not knowing what to do with her hands so she clasped them behind her back, stretching them in the process like a little child.

‘Cool…’ Lexa said and Clarke smiled even wider. ‘Is tonight ok for you? Or you already have some plans, I mean we could go another day, whenever is ok for you, just…’ Clarke stopped Lexa’s spiraling by raising her hand.

‘Tonight is perfect.’ 

Lexa was soaring. She nodded again, knowing better than to start rambling again. 

‘I will pick you up at eight. You can go home earlier, since you came here earlier.’

‘That’s perfect.’ Clarke had a slight smile. ‘Where are we going?’

‘Can a girl have some secrets?’ 

‘I’m asking so I know what to wear. Classy? Fancy? Casual?’ Clarke raised her hands like she was weighting her options looking at Lexa.

‘You. Just be you, and it will be perfect.’ Lexa said and winked, walking back to her office.

‘That was smooth Woods, but not helpful… ‘Clarke muttered shaking her head slightly. 

 

 

‘Clarke…’ Octavia watched the blonde changing her outfit once again. She presumed she was going out, and by the nerves Clarke displayed, Octavia guessed it was a date Clarke was getting ready for. ‘Can we talk, please? ‘

‘No.’

‘Please, I can’t stand this anymore…You have to talk to me…To Raven. ‘ Octavia leaned on the doorframe of Clarkes room. ‘ She is miserable since that dinner.’

‘Good.’ Clarke again answered as short as she could.

‘I am too…’

‘Again, good.’

‘Clarke…’

‘Octavia, I really don’t have time for this right now. I have to get ready.’ Clarke looked at Octavia this time, and smaller girl just nodded.

‘Ok…’ she turned to go to her room but stopped. ‘That red summer dress is perfect on you. With some black flats, you are golden, and Lexa will drool, if she has eyes.’ with that she went back to her room, leaving Clarke alone. 

The blonde smiled slightly, knowing that Octavia knew what was going on somehow. And she was right, they really needed to talk, but again, this was not the right moment. To be honest, she kind of missed all the fuss that was created by two other girls, every time she had a date. Soon, she will sit them down and say what she has to say. But tonight…She will spend time with Lexa, maybe have a nice walk. Maybe they will hold hands, and maybe, and she really hoped, Lexa will kiss her again. 

 

 

Lexa pushed the button, feeling her hands getting sweatier by the second. Her black skinny jeans felt even skinnier, and her dark green linen shirt that was flowing around her torso felt like a sand paper. Her hair that was scooped up in a high ponytail felt like pulled her in all of the wrong places, and she felt so jittery and uncomfortable, she wanted to slap herself. 

‘Yes.’ She heard Clarke’s voice that brought her back.

‘Hey…It..It’s Lexa.’ She stuttered mentally face palming.

‘Coming down.’ Clarke said and that gave Lexa effectively a minute to gather herself and stop being a total mess. She took a couple of long and deep breaths, and she heard door opening. Lexa turned around and all of her nervousness disappeared. Suddenly she felt grounded, firmly, safe and at ease. Clarke stood in front of her, clad in a red dress that was flowing around her tights, top of the dress revealing just enough of her god given attributes and Lexa mentally made a note not to gaze often at them. It’s rude and it’s going to be bitch. Because…look at them.

‘You look…well…Perfect.’ Lexa almost whispered and Clarke smiled at her.

‘Thank you. You look fantastic Lexa.’ and that was really an understatement. Clarke racked her gaze all over Lexa when stepping out of the building, talking the perfection that was in front of her. 

‘Um…no. Seeing you, I feel slightly underdressed and underprepared.’ she shook her head slowly still drinking the sight. Clarke was truly magnificent. 

‘Please. I had to cover all the bases since you didn’t want to tell me where are we going, exactly.’

By that point they stood so close to one another, not being aware of the natural pull that occurred between them. Lexa so desperately wanted to kiss Clarke again, but she restrained herself, she was going to do this right.

‘I was hoping that dinner and movie sounds good?’ Lexa said with a hushed tone, like she didn’t want anybody else to hear what she told Clarke.

‘Sounds perfect.’ Clarke retorted, still looking Lexa in the eyes, never leaving them, but she felt a pull to glance down at her lips, so pink and soft, and she basically wanted to latch onto them right here and now, but she will be civil about this. She can wait. She hoped.

Lexa felt a gust of strength and placed her hand on Clarke’s lower back.

‘This way. Evening is beautiful, so I hope you don’t mind walking a little?’ 

‘Not at all…Lead the way.’ Clarke smiled at Lexa, and got pleasantly surprised when Lexa suddenly took her hand in hers and pulled her lightly, smiling at her, tilting her head slightly so blonde would follow her, and Clarke did.

‘I hope this is ok…’ Lexa asked after several moments referring to their tangled hands.

‘It is.’ Clarke said while chuckling, feeling waves of little shocks coming from her hand where Lexa’s fingers were intertwined with hers. 

 

They walked slowly, drinking their surroundings, chatting about all kinds of stuff, laughing in the process. Whenever Lexa said something funny to Clarke, blonde would laugh and lean on Lexa slightly, and Lexa felt like they were only people on this planet, and that the sound of Clarke’s laugh was something that was unexplainable. She wanted to listen to it over and over again, making her feel warm and accomplished, knowing that she was the reason for such heavenly sound.  
They sat down in one of the local restaurants, and it was perfect in Clarke’s opinion. Wherever Lexa took her, those places had soul and something special, atmosphere was different, inviting, cossy, poetic almost, and she just thought that this was just a particle of kaleidoscope that Lexa was. She liked things that weren’t common, mass produced, that had a speck of uniqueness, and Clarke couldn’t feel but giddy and happy that she was sitting across the table, talking with Lexa, getting to know her, to realize that this girl in front of her was truly something special, something to be cherished, guarded. Loved. 

 

‘Have you talked with Octavia and Raven since the dinner?’ Lexa suddenly asked between two sips of her white wine. Clarke looked at Lexa and shook her head.

‘Um...no. Not yet. But I will.’ she nodded and sipped her wine.

‘I know that this is not my business, and I don’t want to impose with my opinion but… Give them a break.’ Lexa looked at Clarke with compassion in her eyes. ‘I know how it looks like, but I’m sure they just wanted to protect you from hurting more.’

Clarke listened and nodded. 

‘I know and I love them for their excessive protectiveness, but…’ she halted there.

‘But?’ Lexa urged Clarke to continue. The blonde exhaled.

‘My relationship with Finn was…odd. Let’s put it that way. ‘ Lexa nodded, leaving Clarke to proceed.

‘I never really, truly loved him. At least, I can see that from this point of view. Back then, I was attached to him, hoping that he would be this guy, this right guy that would be the rock that I needed.’ 

Lexa listened intently, but couldn’t escape this nagging feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. Oh, she knew that feeling. It was jealousy, it was clear as a day, but she had to stifle it down, because, she really shouldn’t be jealous. She didn’t know Clarke back then.

‘Around that time everything with Costia happened, I was crushed…’ Clarke continued and Lexa couldn’t get away from this crazy thought.  
What if Costia wasn’t such a bitch back then, and she got a chance to meet Clarke? Would she feel the same attraction, even though she was in love with Costia? A cold feeling rushed down her spine, and that was enough of an answer for her. She would. She would fall for Clarke even back then, but what would that entail, she couldn’t imagine. And she left it there. 

‘He started to change, and went from being this supportive figure to being a total ass about my art and my way of living…I guess I understand…’ Clarke said and those words just jump started Lexa.

‘No. There is nothing to understand except the fact that he acted like a total shit.’ Lexa said with a bit of energy that surprised Clarke.

‘If somebody is given a chance to be with you, by your side, that somebody should be praising the lords, and use that chance to show you how special you are. They should praise you, lift you, help you in any way they can.’ Lexa said in one breath. ‘Not become some self-righteous motherfucker that doesn’t see what is in front of his eyes.’ 

‘Lexa…’ Clarke tried to calm down now clearly upset brunette, a small smile on her lips. ‘It’s ok. It was a lesion. And I’m glad that I learned it.’

‘If I ever see him, I’ll teach him a lesion…’ Lexa whispered and took a big gulp of wine, trying to calm herself down. And Clarke just laughed at that. A sincere laugh that threw Lexa off. She scrunched her forehead, and that made Clarke laugh even harder. 

‘I’m sorry, but it’s cute…’ Clarke finally said.

‘What is Clarke?’ Lexa asked seemingly serious, but the corner of her lips went up just a bit. 

‘This retrograde jealousy… ‘ Clarke said now completely calmed down, but her face had a small smile. ‘It’s cute and endearing.’

‘Well…it’s my specialty.’ Lexa said and Clarke laughed again. That made Lexa smile too, and all Clarke could think is how is this all happening. How she got so lucky? 

‘We should go…If we want to catch that movie.’ Lexa glanced on her watch.

‘Yeah…Let’s go. What are we watching?’ Clarke asked.

‘You’ll see. I just hope you like musicals.’ Lexa said and stood up, leaving the money in the leather envelope. 

‘I do…and now you got me intrigued.’ Clarke stood up to, and followed Lexa outside. Once they were out, Lexa took her hand again, and now it felt so natural, like that was the place where it should be, always. In Clarke’s.

 

 

‘Oh my god…We are watching La La Land???’ Clarke almost screamed from being so excited. They stood in front of the theatre, and even this place was old and special, and off course it would be. This is Lexa. 

‘Yes we are…but, this is a slightly different way of watching it.’ Lexa smiled and turned around once she bought the tickets. 

‘How so?’ Clarke asked, her interest peaking. 

‘Well, this theatre here still uses rolls. It’s not digitalized. So we will experience this movie slightly different than the rest of the world.’ Lexa said, and Clarke just shook her head, smiling in the process. Lexa was really a dork. But she started to like it so much, that she had to be as excited as Lexa. 

‘I love it already. I really wanted to see this movie, never taking the time. You know, this new work is just talking so much of my time, I hardly can breathe.’ Clarke said with mock exasperation in her voice.

‘Really…I should talk to your boss then. Give her my piece of mind…’Lexa played along. 

‘Oh, there’s no point…She is this arrogant…’ Clarke continued.

‘Arrogant!!!’ Lexa exclaimed and tickled Clarke quickly, making blonde laugh again, but her hands never slipping down from Clarkes midsection. 

‘Really?’ Lexa asked smiling down on blonde, and Clarke looked up to Lexa with same smile on her lips.

‘No, not really…’ Clarke said, her hands reaching for Lexa’s forearms. ‘She is amazing actually.’ 

Clarke finally stilled, and they locked their gazes. Clarke looked at Lexa’s lips, seeing that almost invisible spot on her upper lip, wanting to kiss it right now. 

‘I am really tempted to kiss you, but I really wanted to do that inside. Or at least try it.’ Lexa said smiling and blushing slightly. Clarke smiled back, squeezing Lexa’s forearms. 

‘How about you kiss me here, and I will let you kiss me in there, without you trying too hard?’ Clarke voiced her wishes and Lexa’s smile grew.

‘It’s a deal.’ and with that she leaned and kissed Clarke, feeling how smooth and warm blondes lips were and she sunk into it. Clarke felt it too, and she sunk into it too, relishing in Lexa’s taste, so sweet and unique, so much so, she could do this all day and all night, kiss this girl that she started to fall for so quickly, that by now, she was almost sure she fell for completely, without and possibility of coming back. And that thought didn’t scare her at all, to be so engulfed so quickly, almost swept off her feet, just by seeing and listening to Lexa. And this. Kissing her. As seconds passed by, she could feel that her addiction grew, and soon enough, she knew, that this was her new air. New sun, water, needed for her to live. Truly live. 

Buzz that was heard behind them made them separate, but their lips still tried to reattach themselves. Lexa pulled back enough, but her forehead was pressed up against Clarkes, looking down at her lips that were now red and plump and inviting and Lexa had to use all of her self-control not to initiate new kiss.

‘We should go in.’ she said, her hands now around Clarkes torso, pressing her up her own body.

‘I don’t want to.’ Clarke said all to quickly and Lexa laughed sweetly at the blonde.

‘Trust me, I would like to do this until the rest of our date, but I think you will like this movie…and I really want to kiss you there.’ Lexa promised Clarke, and Clarke just nodded and inhaled deeply.

‘Ok, you are right. We should go in.’ she said and quickly pecked Lexa’s lips once more, just like she did that morning, making Lexa laugh again. 

 

 

 

‘I love this movie!!!’ Clarke was stepping out onto the pavement, her hands above her hart, Lexa following her, smiling at the blonde’s reaction. 

‘It’s a good movie.’ Lexa offered and Clarke turned around swiftly eying Lexa.

‘Good? Oh come on Lexa…who are you kidding? I know you loved it. You think I didn’t hear your little gasps every time they started to dance, or how you bounced your feet at the music, or how you sniffed at the end and squeezed my hand. ‘ Clarke said looking at Lexa that was now blushing, her head slightly down, a small smile on her lips.

‘Ok, shut up…I loved it.’ she finally confessed, smile still on her lips. Clarke smiled too and hooked her arm around Lexa’s as other girl had her hands in her pockets. She leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder as they walked slowly, Lexa leaning back. 

‘Off course you did. This movie is so…you.’ 

‘How so?’ Lexa asked. ‘I don’t dance. I hardly sing…’ 

‘I don’t know, it’s just is. Let me be.’ Clarke said nudging Lexa lightly. ‘ I can’t explain it.’ 

‘All right…’ Lexa conceded and smiled. 

‘And that song just got stuck in my head.’ Clarke was now replaying parts of the movie in her head, memories still fresh. Especially that one song, City of Stars. Partly because she really liked that song, partly because Lexa chose that moment to take her hand and kiss it, sending tingles all over Clarke’s body. 

‘Yeah, music is phenomenal, I really liked it.’ Lexa commented but at that moment she made a plan. Plan that she really hoped she will be able to fulfill one day, and now was set in her mind. She smiled at that, because, she really hoped life will give her a break with this one, and let her just be. With Clarke.

They walked back to Clarke’s building, talking and laughing, never splitting apart. Clarke’s hand was firmly on Lexa’s arm and brunette loved it, never wanting to lose that touch. Time went by so quickly for both of them, even though it was almost 1a.m. Streets were still alive, summer doing it’s magic, but both of them knew that tomorrow they had a job to do. Luckily for them, they worked closely, and Clarke smiled at the thought. 

‘What’s so funny?’ Lexa asked gently. 

‘Um, nothing…It’s really stupid and embracing.’ Clarke shook her head.

‘Clarke…’ Lexa called her, and just the way Lexa said her name, made Clarke feel different. Even her name sounded amazing once it was voiced by Lexa.

‘I just had a great time tonight. Really.’ Clarke stopped in front of her building looking at Lexa. ‘And I was just mentally fist pumping at the fact that we work together, and that I will be able to see you tomorrow again.’

‘Aren’t you tired of me?’ Lexa asked, teasing in her voice obvious. Clarke smiled and shook her head. 

‘God no… I just…You are amazing. And I feel amazing when I’m with you.’ Clarke confessed and Lexa hardly could contain her happiness. Clarke felt this way when she was with her, this goddess liked her company, and all Lexa could do is kiss her. Kiss her harder than before, with more frivolity and passion than ever before, because she could feel her whole body opening towards Clarke, waiting to receive whatever Clarke was ready to give. And Clarke felt this change, and she embraced it with open arms, getting a sense of slightly different Lexa, someone that is gentle and considerate, but also passionate and wistful, someone that changed gears in an instant, and Clarke was along for a ride, no questions asked. 

They separated so that both of them could take a much needed breath, hands still firmly clinging to the parts of the body they found most comfortable with. Clarke was almost panting, and Lexa had shallow breath as they looked at each other. 

‘Wow…what was that? Clarke asked breathlessly.

‘I don’t know. I just…’ 

‘Do it again.’ Clarke almost ordered and leaned in, Lexa immediately closing the gap, started kissing Clarke with newfound bravery, and obviously the other girl liked it and welcomed it, her hands tightly behind Lexa’s neck, pulling her even closer, Lexa’s hands around Clarke, one on the small of her back, other one on the base of Clarke’s neck. Clarke couldn’t help herself, letting a moan find its way out, hitting Lexa’s ears and that was just a spark for an even deeper kiss, their lips molding perfectly, Lexa’s tongue found Clarke’s in no time, time and people passing by, and they didn’t care or mind. 

Clarke was the one that broke the kiss abruptly, still holding Lexa’s neck firmly. Lexa had a confused and almost scared look on her face, but Clarke reassured her soon enough.

‘We…this…we need to stop. Like … now. Because if you continue to kiss me like that, I’m not sure what I’m capable of doing next.’ Clarke said in one breath and Lexa had a growing smirk on her face. 

‘Is that so…’ 

‘Yes…and stop looking at me like that, with that smirk. You’re not helping.’ Clarke scolded Lexa, and Lexa smiled.

‘Ok.’ is all Lexa could say, her mind still twirling around, her body almost screaming at this point, and she knew that Clarke was right. They really needed to stop it, because what Clarke’s touch and lips did to her was ungodly, and she was right. This was their first date. Patience is the key, but that was easier said than done, when Clarke’s lips tasted so good and her body was firmly pressed up against hers. 

‘All right…I’m gonna go now and take a shower or something.’ Clarke said making her point, and Lexa nodded like she knew what was Clarke referring to, and she did. ‘And I’ll see you tomorrow.’ she smiled at Lexa.

‘Yes..y.yes.’ Lexa stuttered, unable to form coherent sentence. 

‘Good night Lexa.’ Clarke kissed her on the cheek, never taking the chance of one more kiss on the lips, because she knew where that kiss will definitely lead. She turned around and started to walk into the building.

‘Clarke, wait…’ Lexa called after her and Clarke turned around and saw that Lexa was giving her small origami flower. She took it and smiled brightly.

‘What is this?’

‘I almost forgot to give it to you…I wanted to bring you real flowers, but as I waited for you down here, I decided against it. But still…Beautiful girls like you should get flowers on the first date, so I made this for you. So here…I know it’s not as impressive as the real thing, but i…’ Lexa was shut down by a quick peck on the lips.

‘I love it.’ Clarke just said still smiling. ‘Thank you Lexa.’ and with that she turned around and went into the building leaving Lexa at the entrance, her fingertips ghosting above her lips, where Clarke landed one more adorable peck. 

 

‘You are welcome…And I might be loving you.’ Lexa whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> To whomever it concerns...thank you for reading.  
> Any kind of advice,critique,bad and good will be welcomed. If anybody wants this to continue,please leave a comment. It will be appreciated.
> 
> And again,I appologise for any and every mistake I made.


End file.
